Local Hour: We Made You, We Run You

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The Dan Le Batard Show 45 min 12 speakers 3 chapters transcribed
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What is the history of tequila?

Kermit the Frog 0:01
Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here?
Don Levitard 0:09
Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.
Stugatz 0:29
Cuervo.
Gio 0:34
Cuervo.
Tom 0:36
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Don Levitard 1:05
Billy, do you have any advice for me on the better place to start today that Stugatz is here? And we have some New York radio sound to play for Stugatz in the audience now that some of the poisons from New York are trickling in. But we also have a feud between Pablo Torre and Bill Simmons. Ooh.
Stugatz 1:25
I mean, is this his thing now, Pablo, just feuding with people for attention? Jeez Louise. It's Nick Wright one minute. It's Bill Belichick's girlfriend another minute. It's Bill Simmons. I mean, I only got a minor in journalism. So I guess maybe to get the major, you miss the classes on making yourself the center of every story and debating with your subjects.
Billy 1:46
He is going up, though. It's elevating, right? Now he's at Bill Simmons, like mogul of the industry. What's next? How much higher can he go? Us. But he's already feuded with me.
Stugatz 1:56
Right, so that's kind of already done. But you can end that real quick. I could? All of it. All your feuds. No, the Pablo situation. You're the boss. I don't know. All the feuds.
Don Levitard 2:11
You have me ending all of Pablo's feuds?
Stugatz 2:13
I'm just saying, if Pablo feuds with you, I mean, you're the boss. You sign the checks. You could say, you know what? This feud is over.
Don Levitard 2:19
I don't sign the checks.
Stugatz 2:20
Who does?
Dan Le Batard 2:21
Is this electronic at this point?
Don Levitard 2:23
I don't have anything to do with the checks. You guys keep blaming me for the checks, and I'm not in charge of the money. Who do we blame for the checks, then? Skipper! He's gone, though. He's still here. What are you doing?
Chris Cote 2:36
Whoa, what? What responsibility do you have? I do believe I can be found.
Don Levitard 2:39
What I'm doing right now, it's not the money. Oh, you cash him. I do cash them. I do cash some of the checks. Yeah, so do you, though. I've cashed a few. So does everyone around here. Who is on the checks? Whose signature is actually on the checks?
Dan Le Batard 2:55
I get direct deposit.
Billy 2:56
Yeah, me too. It's like a squiggly line for me. I can't see whose name it is.
Dan Le Batard 2:59
I still have you, Dan, for some reason, going to the ATM. Same. Depositing the check. I've got to get it in before five.
Chris Cote 3:06
That's how he likes to do it.
Tony 3:07
With a burlap sack with a dollar sign on it.
Don Levitard 3:09
You know what's funny about this? This is what's funny about this. Just yesterday, because I knew it. No, listen to this. This is great. This was so Miami. I'm not kidding you when I tell you I walk into the bank, OK, through the rain. And why? It's a pretty harsh rain because I want cash. I want more cash than the ATM cash. Will give me. In the rain? You needed it that bad? It was just before 5 o'clock. You requested more cash than the ATM had? I requested more cash than the ATM gives per day. Oh, I see. You have a limit?
Gio 3:45
There are limits, yes. This seems nefarious.
Don Levitard 3:47
I shouldn't have limits. What do you mean it's nefarious?
Dan Le Batard 3:50
Are you a hitman? Yeah, what do you need all this cash for? I'm with you, though. Why is the bank limiting me? Hey, my money.
Don Levitard 3:56
I don't like any limits on my cash and I enjoy giving my cash to whomever I like without any paperwork involved with the giving of that cash. I prefer to have it in my hand old school Miami style. And what just happened at the bank yesterday that was funny is that I run in, why are you holding your hand in front of me when we're doing- You like to give out cash.
Chris Cote 4:20
We offer cash.
Don Levitard 4:21
We're only doing audio, though. We're not on video right now.
Chris Cote 4:24
You noticed he was waving. I was hoping you would take that picture for us.

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