Kerry
Appearances
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Okay, I guess I'll start. So our overall question is just, kind of like needing advice on how do we figure out when to have kids or if we should wait given our medical school and residency timeline.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Um, I guess for background, I'm a second year medical student and, um, he is applying to medical school right now. Um, and so it just, it's kind of complicated.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
I want to live a non-anxious life and I just don't want to keep this secret anymore. And my original plan was to like get on top of things and then everything would be fine. But now I just, I want to be, I want to be a good wife. I want to be open and honest. And I just, I need his help with the finances and, um, we've got to start from ground zero, I think.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
So a big part of the whole question is just... We're Christian and we're trying to balance our values of, you know, wanting to have a family. And that is, to me, definitely the most important thing in my life other than the Lord. And it just makes it complicated to do both.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
It's, I think it like, it's more of like, like our faith is, it just, um, is very important. Not that it's like necessarily the most important. Um, but to me it feels more important than my job.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
I don't, I don't know. Okay. Um, it makes it hard with school for sure. Um, it's, I mean, my husband would definitely say that I struggle with like finding ways to like keep going with school because it's just like, I'm kind of having a hard time balancing it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Um, I want to have like four to six kids eventually. Okay. And I want to be a good mom, um, and a good wife. Um, And yeah, I mean, I want a job eventually, but I just, I don't, and like part of me likes the idea of like being able to help people and the, um, have like a, I don't know, like mentally stimulating job, which not that that is the only one out there. Um, but, um, yeah. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
A significant number of people.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Four months yesterday.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Yeah, I guess I'm afraid that eventually I couldn't go back, or I wouldn't because it would be too much money, or X, Y, Z, and I would regret it somehow.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Yeah, I like those sometimes.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
I guess I would say I'm a stay-at-home mom. And so I kind of take care of all of the household duties and everything. you know, taking care of our kids and kind of everything that I can so that he can just work. And then, I mean, of course he helps with the kids and he helps with the household too. But I think he wants to be helpful with that too.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
And we've talked about it over the years, but it just like, we talk about it and then like nothing ever happens. And so I'm just kind of like left holding the bag.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Oh, it could be both.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
I'd say sort of me because he is so gung-ho about me being home and raising our kids. But I think that there's still a part of me that just wants to prove that I can do this, I can handle this, and be the CEO of my home and show them that I can do this, I guess.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Yeah, that's the big part.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
I had just worked administrative in some doctor's offices. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
No, I love it. I feel more fulfilled than I ever have in my entire life.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
So it started last year. Last year and around the summer is when we decided that it's possible for me to be a stay-at-home mom. I had my first child earlier in the year last year. Um, and so I didn't really realize or know how to manage our money at that point.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Um, as like we, as we went through the rest of 2023 and we had gotten to a point where we were down to zero and zero, like you didn't owe anybody any money. Say it again.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Like our bank account was zero.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Yeah, and it kind of blew up, and I was like, okay, well, I can fix this. I can get on top of it. And I have a hard time, on a side note, I have a hard time saying no to him because he doesn't know what we don't have, and he wants to get this or do this, and so I don't want to be the officer of being like, no, we can't do that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
i am needing and wanting to be truthful and honest with my husband about some credit cards that he doesn't know about as well as how much money we actually have in our bank account versus what i have told him that we've had in our bank account uh-oh how bad is it
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
I guess I can't balance that well.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Yeah. How's this going to go? I don't fully know. I think ultimately it will work itself out, but I think that he's going to be very surprised and very upset at me and the situation.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
I feel like there might be a little bit – I think there might be a little bit of both. I think the thing that it's going to be the worst part about it is that I haven't been truthful with him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Okay. That sounds like an amazing approach.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Hey, how are you, Dr. John?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Um, well, actually that part is not the, at least to me, it's not like the worst part because we've listened to the Ramsey show for a long time. Um, but it's under a thousand.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
I am doing good. I'd like to be doing better.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Yeah. He thinks that we have, he thinks that we have money in the account and virtually we have none.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
We've got medical bills that I have budgeted before or that have worked into a budget that I've just worked up. But it's just not living... Within our means. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
So I am needing and wanting to be truthful and honest with my husband about some credit cards that he doesn't know about, as well as how much money we actually have in our bank account versus what I have told him that we've had in our bank account. Um, and so I just, how bad is it? It's not that bad, but, um, I just, I've, I've been reading your book.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Yeah, that's totally fair.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Refuses to Grow Up and Take Responsibility
Oh, my gosh. That sounds awesome.