Kevin Kelly

So one of the things I say is that you want to be able to have your kids be able to say, our family does this or doesn't do this.

This idea of a family identity is something else that you cultivate of like saying, our family does this or our family doesn't do this.

This is what our family does.

That's fine with them.

There's all kinds of things.

We didn't have TV with our kids growing up in the house at all.

Our family doesn't do TV.

You're free to watch TV at your friend's house as much as you want.

But we, our family, doesn't do TV.

It's like, okay, that's fine.

That's good.

I understand that.

That's part of my identity.

And so you can do that.

Yeah, I'm not very good.

I think you need to talk to Esther Perel, who's ace in this couples therapy.

Actually, there was one thing in the book that I think came from Esther, which is the rule of three in conversation.

And that's particularly valuable in a marriage, which is that when something that you love or are intimate with is...

telling you something in a very intense way.

You want to be listening.