Khaya Dlanga

You know what I'm saying? And what did she say? Oh, Jesus. She said to me, because she was with me through every step of the way, everything I had to do. She said, you know, like, she said, you did more than you should have.

You know what I'm saying? And what did she say? Oh, Jesus. She said to me, because she was with me through every step of the way, everything I had to do. She said, you know, like, she said, you did more than you should have.

and which is essentially what my brother actually said in his own suicide note that he left which was um you know um you you you did more than a brother should have done and that's what my mother said to me um but i that didn't i suppose doesn't make you feel good you know either but but you don't feel Yeah. And she was like, you did more than you should have.

and which is essentially what my brother actually said in his own suicide note that he left which was um you know um you you you did more than a brother should have done and that's what my mother said to me um but i that didn't i suppose doesn't make you feel good you know either but but you don't feel Yeah. And she was like, you did more than you should have.

And also like at the funeral, she spoke, well, she didn't speak. Someone read the note that she wrote, which was the most gracious thing I've ever read in my entire life. Which she said, I mean, at the end of it, it was so nonjudgmental. She said, you were tired of,

And also like at the funeral, she spoke, well, she didn't speak. Someone read the note that she wrote, which was the most gracious thing I've ever read in my entire life. Which she said, I mean, at the end of it, it was so nonjudgmental. She said, you were tired of,

of the things of this world and rest my son you know and um yeah which was i was like i mean at the end of it um i was like wow what a a thing to say but i'll never forget the evening of the funeral and Everybody's gone, just myself, my mother and my two sisters. It's just us, you know, we're watching TV that we're not really watching. We're just sitting there quietly because everyone is gone.

of the things of this world and rest my son you know and um yeah which was i was like i mean at the end of it um i was like wow what a a thing to say but i'll never forget the evening of the funeral and Everybody's gone, just myself, my mother and my two sisters. It's just us, you know, we're watching TV that we're not really watching. We're just sitting there quietly because everyone is gone.

And she said, well, she said, which means I am going to die next year. And I got so angry. And I was like, don't say that. What are you saying? You have other children, you know. And I said this. And she was saying it to herself, you know. She was saying it to herself. And not even saying it to us. And then she said, because her mother died. Her mother lost her son, you know.

And she said, well, she said, which means I am going to die next year. And I got so angry. And I was like, don't say that. What are you saying? You have other children, you know. And I said this. And she was saying it to herself, you know. She was saying it to herself. And not even saying it to us. And then she said, because her mother died. Her mother lost her son, you know.

And she said, my mother lost her son. uh in 1987 in 87 in 88 she passed away so i'm that's what's gonna happen to her and so and what i would do after that i just give it i just caught because i was in case i was covid so i'd call it like all the time just to make sure that like you know she's not you know she's not

And she said, my mother lost her son. uh in 1987 in 87 in 88 she passed away so i'm that's what's gonna happen to her and so and what i would do after that i just give it i just caught because i was in case i was covid so i'd call it like all the time just to make sure that like you know she's not you know she's not

She's not leaving. And I think I was calling her for my own selfishness, actually. Just to make sure she knows that I'm okay, that she's okay, and all of that. And then we're fine. And I was like, oh, she's getting better. And then she just got sick, you know. And I think, I mean, it took like three years for her to get really sick and cancer. She was very healthy.

She's not leaving. And I think I was calling her for my own selfishness, actually. Just to make sure she knows that I'm okay, that she's okay, and all of that. And then we're fine. And I was like, oh, she's getting better. And then she just got sick, you know. And I think, I mean, it took like three years for her to get really sick and cancer. She was very healthy.

She literally just got almost sick overnight. And this cancer, which I think she was, she hid, you know, from us because she really did want to die. And I think it was heartbreak that really just, it was definite, it was not the cancer. It was like, cause I almost feel like in many ways she called it upon herself. And, and I think she knew she had the cancer. She just didn't tell anybody.

She literally just got almost sick overnight. And this cancer, which I think she was, she hid, you know, from us because she really did want to die. And I think it was heartbreak that really just, it was definite, it was not the cancer. It was like, cause I almost feel like in many ways she called it upon herself. And, and I think she knew she had the cancer. She just didn't tell anybody.

because my mother is a very proud woman you know like a lot of you know closer women very proud strong woman she's like I'm not gonna and so yeah it was it's very difficult it's it's I don't know. I don't have the answers. I just don't have the answers. But that was a very hard thing to hear her say when she said, I'm going to die next year. And then there's nothing you can do about it, you know?

because my mother is a very proud woman you know like a lot of you know closer women very proud strong woman she's like I'm not gonna and so yeah it was it's very difficult it's it's I don't know. I don't have the answers. I just don't have the answers. But that was a very hard thing to hear her say when she said, I'm going to die next year. And then there's nothing you can do about it, you know?

So, yeah. But honestly, I think for me, I promise you, if I didn't have the friendships that I have, I don't know what the faith and the friendships that I have. I don't know where I would be. I genuinely don't know. Because they don't, friendships don't give you a chance to wallow. I think in, yes, feel the things you need to feel. Yeah.

So, yeah. But honestly, I think for me, I promise you, if I didn't have the friendships that I have, I don't know what the faith and the friendships that I have. I don't know where I would be. I genuinely don't know. Because they don't, friendships don't give you a chance to wallow. I think in, yes, feel the things you need to feel. Yeah.