Kyle MacDonald

Yeah.

Kia ora, koutou.

That's right.

I'm sure I'll follow along.

Yeah, it still can.

I mean, I think we have to acknowledge that what other people think of us really matters, no matter where we are in life.

I guess it depends on who it is that we're making matter, though.

Yeah, well, sort of warming up for this today, I was thinking about the fact that I think what's really important with this is to think about the relationship.

So where the criticism is coming from and who the criticism or negative feedback is coming from.

But, you know, it's this old sort of Buddhist idea, which I think is often misinterpreted, which is that it's really important to have compassion for our enemies or compassion for people who hurt us.

And that's not about being nice or pleasant or forgiving people or making it OK.

It's about

giving some thought to what's going on for the other person when they're behaving in ways that are harmful to us.

And so I sort of break it down into, you know, is it a bad day?

Is it thoughtlessness or is it meanness?

And I think if we think about those three categories, then we can sort of work our way through what's actually happening when somebody is giving us a hard time.

So that first one, is it a bad day, is someone who might just actually be in a bad place themselves.

And that's very much kind of important to then think about, well, that's a them problem.

You know, if it's clear that someone's having a bad day and they're taking it out on us, it can still be hurtful.

But I think then it's actually about trying to recognise that what's going on for them is theirs and I don't have to pick that up.