Why midlife criticism hits so hard - and how to handle it
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Hi, I'm Francesca Rudkin. Welcome to season six of our New Zealand Herald podcast, The Little Things. And I'm Louise Eyrie. As you may well know, in this podcast, we talk to experts and find out all the little things you need to know to improve different areas of your life. We cut through all the confusion and overload of information out there to just try and help you simplify your life, really. Well, hopefully. Yeah. And ours. Yeah, yeah, totally. Hey, can I ask you a quick question?
Have you got to have your hearing checked yet?
What? Sorry? God, that was a dad joke. That was such a bad dad joke. Anyway, no, I haven't.
No. I've just noticed a couple of things in the last few weeks. And I think over Easter, for some reason, we were watching the 6pm news, which we never sit down and watch. And we have some very, very good news readers in this country. We do. And we were sitting there and this story came on and the presenter said, a man and his corgis were arrested in the UK for damaging an Air Force aircraft. And I was just sitting there going, why did he have his corgis with him? Was he trying to make some sort of... And comment on, you know, he's a supporter of the Queen or something. Just so bizarre that you take your corgis with you if you're going to kind of, you know, deface these, I don't know, it was so weird.
And I turned and I looked at my partner and he just looked at me and went, a man in his 40s? I just spent ages rifting on the fact that there was this article about a man and his corgis had gone and... I was thinking, corgis are too small to even catch. I know. So I'd done this huge rift on it. He's like, a man in his 40s. I'm like, oh, okay. So there were no corgis? I was like... It's like, no, no corgis. Left the corgis at home.
Yeah.
Oh, that's adorable. But this has been happening a little bit. And I kind of just don't want to go because they're just going to say something to me that I hear so often at the moment, which is, well, it's okay for your age.
Oh, they're definitely going to say that. It's kind of. I mean, look, between boobs, skin, cervix. Colonoscopy. There's quite a lot to do. The ears until I can't hear something. Your eyesight. Oh, my eyesight's bloody terrible. Is it? Yes. Look, I can't say too much because I'm actually really bad at looking after that too. And there is actually a really good study going on at the university. If you're between 45 and 55, they're going to study the perimenopausal eye, which I think is very cool. So I'm going to sign up for that one. You get a $20.
I probably do need to do that as well because I'm finding I'm sending off, I always just write cheers Francesca at the end of my emails, but the inbox, the print is very small and I've noticed actually I've been sending off emails going cheese Francesca. It's just been automatically changing into cheese and I haven't noticed. And people are going... Is she like, what is he?
I have an extraordinary amount of floaters, but I have always had them. And the other day I had a bit of migraine and I was looking at my white ceiling and I was like, how do you even see out of these eyes, Louise? There's so many floaters. So that's another thing. I don't think they can do anything about those. It's a stage and stage, all these things, isn't it? Yeah. Now I need to go and get a proper prescription.
We've got to keep ticking all these things off our list.
Totally, totally.
Yeah. Right, to today's ep, we have talked to the fabulous Lucy Hone about her book, now a bestseller, How Will I Get Through This, about some of the unwelcome events life throws at us. But what about the everyday negative thoughts and criticisms that undermine our general well-being and can sabotage our joy and resilience in ways we might never even realise are hurting us? Or worse, we do realise but we feel unable to shift the pattern.
You've known me a long time, Francesca. I can go into a downward spiral pretty bloody fast if I get bad feedback or just hear some negative news. I don't seem to spiral upwards nearly at the same rate, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:01–13:40
2
How does criticism affect our mental health in midlife?
13:40–25:26
3
What practical strategies can help us manage negative feedback?
25:26–35:46
4
How can we differentiate between constructive and destructive criticism?
35:46–43:50
5
What role does emotional regulation play in handling criticism?
43:50–48:12