Kyle MacDonald

And when you talk to people who have a really ingrained self-critic,

they're often frightened on some level that if they don't do that, then they won't do anything.

Because actually that motivation comes from that sense of get up, get moving, get your ass into gear, because that's often been the voice that they've experienced in childhood.

Well, I think you probably suggest, without wanting to psychoanalyse you on your podcast, that there's probably quite a good balance.

If it feels like neither sort of jumps out at you, then I think that's probably quite a good balance.

It's funny though, isn't it?

I've often heard my kids say, well, yes, I know you think I'm wonderful.

It doesn't count coming from you.

That's the challenge of parenting.

Yeah, when that tips out of balance, I think, is what we think of as the self-critical problem.

And then it's about recognising that that drives our mood down.

I mean, most people who experience depression will have an absolutely outrageous self-critic.

Part of the challenge I think often is that when that self-critic is really strong, and I mean, often I have these conversations in therapy with people who experience depression, the problem is that they think that the criticism is 100% true.

Not that it is a voice in their head telling them things about themselves based on how they feel, but it's just the truth.

They are rubbish, they are no good, and they need to just try harder.

So that's often really challenging to do on your own.

What we need when we have that kind of self-critic is we actually need relationships around us with people who care about us and trust us, that we trust, that can start to give us feedback that contradicts that.

And I think also often when it's really one entrenched, that's when therapy and medication is required to actually, because it's mood driven, right?

But if we feel it that strongly, then our brain considers our feelings to be facts.

Absolutely.