Kylie
Appearances
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Here is what I've had it with. I've had it with straight women using the term partner for their male boyfriend or male husband, period. The term partner has been reserved and used by the gay community since existence because we were not allowed to be legally married. So we use the term partner. Now, it doesn't bother me so much. However, my partner, she's what we call a lesbian ninja.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
She is super feminine, so she walks amongst the straights completely undetected. So when she meets another female who starts talking about their partner, my ninja lesbian gets all excited thinking she's met another ninja lesbian, only for that woman to whip out a picture of her boyfriend or husband and totally shatter her dreams. So...
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Okay. So this is a Wired article titled, You Too Can Hire an Etsy Witch to Curse Elon Musk. The article goes on to say, in the days following the presidential election, Riley Winkes was angry. Specifically, she was angry at billionaire ex-owner Elon Musk for the role he played in President-elect Donald Trump's victory.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
So Winkes turned to a solution she'd used for other personal problems in the past. She hired a witch on Etsy to curse him, and it only cost her $7.99, she says. I really just love the idea of supporting a small business and sending ill will to someone that I hate.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
And then it goes on to say, seeking out witches, psychics, mediums, and other purveyors of magic or mysticism during times of change or uncertainty has been happening for centuries. Following Trump's first election in 2016, U.S. witches did a mass spell to try to bind him. Witches on TikTok and Instagram similarly hexed Trump and his supporters in the wake of January 6th insurrection.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
And then I did a little deep dive of my own on Etsy to see what I could find.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
It says curse Donald Trump, JD Vance, Elon Musk. It's only $3.74. A steal.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
money well spent and this is the description it says upset over the 2024 presidential election results or just have a strong hatred for donald jd vance or elon musk i've got you covered with this curse this is a curse i've been doing for years and it always bring about lots of bad luck and chaos to the lives of those it's cast on let's get back at trump vance and musk together by creating hell with them with this curse
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Listen, I picked this outfit out two days ago in preparation for you coming.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Okay, up first, we've got a review. Five stars. It says, they may not praise Jesus, but these ladies are doing the Lord's work. Keep it up. Amen. Amen.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
This one is five stars titled, I Can Dig It. And they write, I might be the only straight white male who listens to this show, but whatever. I love it. It's nice to know there are still some people in Oklahoma that aren't full MAGA. I live in California, but had a friend that moved out to Oklahoma a couple years ago because her husband got some job.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
She was very liberal, but within six months of moving there, she did a 180 and went full MAGA. I don't know what's in the water over there, but after she told me she supports fascism, I had to cut her off completely. Anyway, love the show. Keep up the great fight. I'll tell you what, I love our DEI listener.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
He was going to die if he didn't get eight million. He's going to die.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Kylie, what's going on on the internet? I've got a couple reviews for you guys. Okay. Do you want to start with the one star or the five star? The one. One. Okay. One star titled Chronic Complaining. And they write, I get not liking the current political situation, but incessantly complaining about it helps no one.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
There's not a single show in which these women offer the audience any type of solution to their complaints about the current environment. Like you will probably catch cancer from their negativity.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Okay, five stars titled, I Would Save Blessica. This is from Norway, and they write, Every week when I tune into the podcast, I think of that long-ago fateful time in U.S. history when baby Jessica fell down the well. Pumps is so much older than Blessica that she will remember that circumnavigated tragedy.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
If today our amazing Blessica were to suffer the same fate, I would also demand that unnecessary community resources be used to save her. Thank you both from a gaytriot in Florida. When did I fall? Down the well. What are they talking about? Isn't that an old movie, Baby Jessica, that fell down the well?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Good. I was so nervous. You were? I'm not even a part of it, but I was just back here like, I hope I'm doing a good job. Were you excited? Yes. It was Chelsea Handler Day when I woke up. That's what Ana said to me. She said, it's Chelsea Handler Day.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Yes. Do you have this issue with belts? I don't have this issue with belts. I have before, and you know what I do. I take a knife, and I'll make my own holes. Surgery? Mm-hmm. I would have done that at your age too. DIY surgery?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
You know what it reminds me of is a habit of mine is they now sell most bathing suits separately. You have to buy the top and you have to buy the bottom.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
You don't like it? Why don't you like it? Why do you want to do that?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I just think I just want to buy it. A set? One purchase. It's a set. I don't have to think about it. Cost me double. Yeah. I don't like it. I don't need to customize my bathing suit.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I definitely don't undress. I mean, being fully naked, dripping wet, bathing suit around your ankles. That sounds like my worst nightmare. I can't believe you were doing that.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I've got a couple reviews for you. I'm going to pop them up. Okay. This one is titled Bangs Five Stars. And she writes, Okay. Hi, ladies. I've had it stand here. I've been here since literally day one. I love you both so much. But Jen and pumps dot dot dot. Please stop it with the bang slander. Okay. I'm 29 and I cut my own bangs when I was 25 and I have not gone back.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
It's a part of my identity and they're so cute. Are they a lot of work? Yeah. Do they literally ruin my morning sometimes when they don't do what I want them to do? Yeah. But I actually think they make me look younger. I can't imagine myself without bangs. So Pumps as a 29-year-old with bangs who loves them, get them, love them, and embrace them. K by Kirsten.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay, this one is titled Saving My Life, Five Stars. Thank you, ladies, for garnering all of my frustrations and disenchantment. I love the pettiness of it all, and I love it when you comment on the daily disgrace that is the second coming vomit emoji of Trump and his merry band of ass kissers.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Thankfully, I live in a blue state, but I know this bunch of right wing nut jobs will not rest until we're all think, pray and living as they themselves choose. Thank you, ladies, all of you. Your podcast was the first that I listened to after the debacle of the last election. Much love to you all.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I have two reviews and an email for you and we're going to start with the good review. Okay. Five stars, saving me right now. And MDMom94 writes, I don't know why all your negativity and complaining about Trump's America makes me feel better. I can't watch the news anymore because it depresses me, but I'll listen to you anytime. Keep up the good fight.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
No. Okay, this one is one star review. Oh, good. And it's short and sweet. Shut up about Trump. And then they also write, shut up about Trump. Oh my God, Jasmine.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I've got an email for you. I'm going to read. This is from Samuel. And Samuel writes, hi, mamas. Since you both are such big fans of nicknames, I wanted to share a funny story. I had my headphones in watching one of your episodes on YouTube when my husband came home from work and he asked what I was doing. I replied, oh, just watching my favorite ladies bitch and moan.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
He then asked me, who are bitch and moan? I damn near died laughing. So in the spirit of nicknames, I think you should add these to your list. Obviously, Jen is bitch. Angie is moan, which is a double entendre because as the permanent record shows, nobody has given her a real reason to moan in the last 1962 days. Love you all so much. Keep it up.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
We have a couple news stories and funny images that you've sent me. I'm going to pop those up. Okay.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Okay, dealer's choice, do you guys wanna read a couple listener had its they've written in or do you wanna do voice memos? Let's read a couple of had its and end with voice memos.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I was going to say, I have a new thing I've adopted. I've been taking my shoes off and like walking around with my socks in the studio, in the office. Has anyone noticed? Am I grossing you out?
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
We've got a couple of voice memos and up first, we've got Shelby.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I also want to say I have a friend who their dog died. And so they got the skeleton. And it's like standing up like a statue. And it's in like right when you walk in their house. It's one of the first things you see is their dog skeleton. Yeah. Not a taxidermy. Yeah, no fur, no skin. The skeleton.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
A skeleton? The skeleton. A dog or cat? It was a dog. How big is this dog? It was a small dog. Is it like on pins? Yeah, it's got like stands. How old are these people? In their 30s? Well, they're married. One's in their 30s, one's in their 60s.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Yeah. And like Pump said, even babies. I've seen a baby and I've been like, oof. I know exactly how you're going to turn out.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I've got an email from a listener that I'm gonna start off with. And she writes, I've had it with mom influencers thinking going to the pumpkin patch or going to see Santa is like a new thing. Flipping drives me up the wall. We don't give a shit what designer, aka Target, you and your kid are wearing to the outing that everyone with kids goes to. You're not special. No one cares. I've had it.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Oh, and then don't get me started with family Christmas pictures. My family Christmas picture this year is my 18-year-old son flipping me off when we went to get our Christmas tree. Stop. Oh, and stop wearing matching clothes. I like that.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
All right, Kylie. Okay. I have to tell you guys something that I learned about. I've been dying to tell you. Okay. So one of my friends, she's 29 years old and she tells me that this year she made a Christmas registry to send out to people and people can claim and shop her Christmas registry and she can see who claims it. Have you heard of this?
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I've got a couple reviews that I need to read you today. Okay, let's hear them. Up first. This is a recent one.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Titled, Josh Welch is a DEI hire. Five stars. And Lenny writes, shout out to Josh Welch. I have extreme OCD too, and it's nice to see neurotic narcissism represented in media. He's the black little mermaid for the obsessive compulsive. Thanks.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Okay, up next, we've got three stars titled Closet Magas. And they write, as has been said on the show, anyone who repeatedly bashes a particular group is definitely participating in said shenanigans. These ladies are closet magas for sure. Bring back the petty grievances and leave the politics to the other pod.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Kylie, what do you think? I'm really picking on the little. Do you think I should kill the cat? I don't know about killing it, but I do really hate cats. So I have a hard time empathizing.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
It's also so much worse that she has hair on her face. That's like when someone's naked but with socks on. Yeah. It's like way more naked somehow.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Oh, my God. I haven't seen it. You don't know A Few Good Men? I know it exists. I've never watched it. Tom Cruise? It's a great movie.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Okay. I have a poem that I'm going to read you. Wait. Did you write it? Did a listener write it? Where'd it come from? A listener wrote it. A listener named David Franklin emailed this to us.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And he writes, Okay. With voices strong and humor so real, the I've Had It podcast gives you the feel of truth and laughter and honest flair, a space to vent to let down your hair. With every episode, a new rant begins about the little things that make our heads spin. From pet peeves to moments that frustrate, they've got the stories we can all relate.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
From everyday annoyances to bigger gripes, they speak for us all, no sugar or types. With sharp wit and wisdom, they take the lead, turning life's troubles into what we all need. They'll call out the quirks, the things we all know, the things that we see but never quite show. No topic too big, no gripe too small. On I've Had It, they cover it all. So tune in and listen. Let them share the truth.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
For we all need a place to voice our proof. In a world full of noise, they're a welcome sound. The I've Had It podcast where honesty is found.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Yeah, I've got one five-star review I want to read you. Okay. Like a balm to my soul is what it's titled. This show is such a bright spot in my otherwise curmudgeonly day. Y'all are going to carry me through this hellscape that will be the next four years. Thanks for all you do, for all the laughs, and for saying what many of us think.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Every time Jen says riffraff and knickknack, my life is extended by a year. So I'm going to live forever, I think. Anyway, love y'all.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Jen, I've got a video that you sent me that I'm going to play for you and Pumps and the listener today.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I will. I'll start the email with it and then I'll end it with it. Hi, this is Kylie Sheher. Thank you, Kylie Sheher. Or maybe I'll switch them. I'll do like he, him at the top, she, her at the bottom and just fuck with them.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I think I'll be she, her. Okay. Okay. This one is five stars titled hate and they write, I hate it. Five stars. That's a good one. Okay, and then this one is five stars titled, I Love It Here. And Short Char writes, from the super stupid mega maga maggot state of Mississippi, where April 27th is now officially Confederate Heritage Day, thanks to our moron of a governor, Tater Tot Turtle Reeves.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Ha ha ha! I would like to thank you ladies for saying everything that I say daily out loud. I am a black lady truck driver and I am visually assaulted on a daily basis with MAGA hats, MAGA flags, MAGA bumper stickers, and stupid cyber trash trucks. I could literally throw up from the onslaught of stupidity.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
But the sigh of relief comes from having you ladies playing in my ear and having a secret laugh at all these MAGA idiots. Keep up the great work.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Kylie, what do you have going on today? I've been digging into some of our reviews. Excellent. And I've got a one-star review. Oh, good. It's titled Silly. And NoThanks19 writes, privileged women who think they're smarter than you and need to save you.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Right. We can't even save ourselves. Okay, we'll end it on a five star and it's titled, I Give You All My Stars. And Dolan writes, gold star gay here. And I love this podcast. I almost dreaded listening to this podcast the day after the election, after being extremely disappointed and worried for the safety of me and my husband and our son's future in the Bible belt in Trump's America.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
But this podcast truly is a shining light for me. Blue heart.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
This one's grateful five stars, Jen pumps and Kathy. Ha I've been listening for a few years and find your humor personalities and content exhilarating, informative, and hilarious. I'm always finding I've had it's daily. I'm a teacher. So I find them a lot and I needed to list a few for you. Number one, mama heart, which I know you all have had it with that too.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Two, when an influencer or someone online refers to objects such as a purse, couch, pretty vase, or something thrifted as she. Because look how beautiful she is. They aren't human. The object is an it. And number three, I've had it with son in love or daughter in love. Just call them in-laws. Thanks for letting me share. Thank you all for the fun and keep up the good work. Amy in New Orleans.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
OK, up next, we've got a five star titled Reading the Right to Filth. These two ladies might be complaining about Republicans daily, but they do it with class, substance and integrity. I try to be nice to everyone, but I appreciate hearing my inner thoughts spoken out loud.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Okay, Kylie. Okay, so today we're going to do kind of a shotgun method. Okay. I went deep in our DMs. I actually read a bunch of people's messages and they send some good shit. Okay. We're going to start with a newspaper ad that someone posted in Iowa City. And they posted, you were driving your Cybertruck south on North Dubuque Street past the 180 ramps, and I was driving north.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I didn't see your face, and I'm worried you didn't see my middle finger. I just wanted to make sure you got the message.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Okay, this next one was sent by quite a few people. This is for Meemaw Beaver.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
OK, the last thing I'm going to show you today from our listeners is an Instagram or a Facebook post from who I assume is a triple trumper. And someone actually posted this on their wall, says this just woke me up. Explicit content warning. If my partner got the covid vaccine, parentheses, no booster. Can it affect me if I swallow during oral? That can't be real.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I'm seriously asking, and I can't believe I hadn't thought of it till now. Thanks, mamas. I don't think that's real. Really?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Do people respond to that, Kylie? There were so many comments, pumps. This is a hundred percent real.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
No, people were like, you know what? I've had that exact same thought. I have stopped swallowing. And some people were like, you can still get it from vaginal. And so they're pulling out. A lot of people are just trying to find non-vaccinated people.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I recall you just yesterday saying to Jen and I, I've gotten really good at Instagram.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
All right. What's next, Kylie? Okay. We've got some voice memos today. Okay. Up first, we're going to listen to Jack from Australia.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
You know, the reason is hard to say. I don't think that I have a good one. Mostly, probably just for Instagram. That's what I was going to say.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
For your generation to my generation. So it used to be a big deal to get your engagement photo for the newspaper, right?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
No, you just need to plug where people can give us their money. Of course.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
She's extremely smart, but she's an asshole on purpose. Is she defiant? Yeah, kind of. I mean, she'll look right at me and do exactly what I'm asking her not to. Yeah, that's all I... Judy. Judy.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Our top DEI podcast gets a lot of reviews. And I'm going to read you two today. This one is five stars titled Girl on Girl Action. And they write, the best girl-on-girl action to ever grace your beaver-loving ears. Full of all things Trump's America, meat curtains, beavers, homos, and hounds. There's comfort in the chaos. We salute you.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Right. Right. All right, Kylie. Okay, this one's five stars titled Transparency. And she writes, in Trump's America, it's hard to know where to give your money because so few organizations are transparent with how they spend it. Not these ladies. They ask, I give. Live tour, been there. Cult, joined. Book, pre-ordered. And it's so nice knowing exactly where this money will go.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Jessica's portion will go towards a new outfit from Gucci and a trip to Italy. Mimas will go towards multiple Instagram ad purchases. Then the rest will be spent paying the toll she was texted about from a state that she's never even driven through. Keep fighting the good fight, caca.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah, none of daddy's money. That's a big deal. That is a big deal.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
It is exciting, except it's my first car payment. Oh, yeah. But you know.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Okay, so I'm going to skip reviews today because I got sent a little pet project by one of our listeners and friend of the pods named Joe Estrada. So he went to chat GPT and he sent me these. I'm going to pop them up. He asked ChatGPT, can you roast the two blonde ladies in this photo? And I just will zoom in on this photo. Oh, my God. It's so bad. It's both girls next to Kamala Harris.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Okay, so here's what ChatGPT says. Sure, here's a lighthearted roast. Roasty, not toasty. The blonde on the left, which is pumped, looks like she told her stylist, give me first lady, but make it PTA president.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
that blazer says corporate power but the smile says bakes a mean lemon bar the one on the right jen she's giving i just closed a deal on a luxury scented candle subscription with that black suit and bold red lipstick she looks like she's about to launch a ted talk on how to dominate your book club and then it asked all in good fun want me to roast anyone else He says, maybe try less lighthearted.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
So they're turning up the heat. It says Angie on the left. She looks like she stormed the Chanel outlet and declared war on subtlety. That jacket's trying so hard to say classy, it's practically screaming in cursive. She's got the energy of someone who's about to ban dancing in a small town. Footloose villain realness. And then Jen on the right.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
This one's clearly the cool aunt who calls wine mommy juice and thinks showing up in a pantsuit makes her a feminist icon. Holding that notepad like she's moderating a UN summit with probably just a podcast where they rant about oat milk. And then it asks, want me to go spicier? He says, yeah. Last one. Pumps on the left. This woman looks like she Googled rich woman outfit.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And just said yes to every result. That jacket, it's giving budget Cruella de Vil who gentrifies neighborhoods and then complains about the coffee being too ethnic. She radiates the vibe of someone who clutches her pearls when someone says the word TikTok. If Botox had a spokesperson with a country club membership and a grudge against waitstaff, it would be...
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And then Jen on the right, she looks like Gwyneth Paltrow if her only side hustle was selling MLM collagen powders on Facebook Live. The power suit says executive, but the posture says forgot to take her Xanax before yelling at her assistant. She's holding that notepad like she's breaking news, but the only headline she's dropping is, why my niece's wedding was disrespectful to me.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I know. He's just so vain. Okay. Today, do you guys want to listen to some voice memos? Yes. Okay. Up first, we've got one from Phoenix.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah. A hundred percent. I just think that's across the board. Everybody.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Here's the thing. I'm less bothered by it than you guys just at my ripe age, I think. It's age. Yeah. So it doesn't bother me as much yet. Any like that kind of small talk? Yeah. I'm fine with it.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I will say this, being around you guys 24-7, 365, these things stand out to me more when they didn't before I started this job. It's ruining me.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Do you think that makes you better or worse? I'm thinking worse. No, I've been trying to figure out if I've gotten better or worse from this show.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Massage. Did it sound a little drunk? Yeah. That's an often thing for you, Pump, sometimes. No, I know.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
We're at like 11,600 something. Wow. That's exciting. So we're moving on.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I like it. I'm going to read you a few of them. This one is five stars titled Thanks Babes from William. And he writes, I recently went no contact with my Trump loving mother. Thank you for making me feel like the sane one.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Okay. This one is five stars from Ryan, and he titles it It's Kathy's Show. Truly so fun listening to young millennial Kathy help Jessica and her great-great-grandmother Angina navigate the digital sphere as they discuss the issues that matter, like large fallacies in politics. 10 out of 10, pure menopausal chaos. I live for it. I love that.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I have to tell you guys, on election night, we stopped by one of the candidates here's party. And someone, I was up at the bar ordering, and someone said, Hey, Kathy. We started talking and then at the end she goes, what is your real name? And she didn't know my real name was Kylie. I love that.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Not good. It was rough. I think Anna, my girlfriend, cried all day yesterday. I do want to thank our listeners and some of our Patreon members. I've just been poured with nice messages, and so have you two that I've had at Instagram. People are worried about you guys. It's been tough.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And you reach out to your other friends that you know feel the same way as you do, and you kind of just all have to stick together, I feel like. Yeah. But yesterday I went a little unhinged. I was DMing people posting racist shit, and it felt really good because I don't do that.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Kylie. Hi. Hi. I've got a couple reviews for you. Okay. This one is five stars titled Life Saving. And they write, this podcast and these amazing women are saving my life every day with humor and relatable angst. Not all heroes wear capes, but apparently they are all well-dressed and blonde. Thank you for making me laugh through the madness.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Thank you. Okay. And this next one is a one star. Okay. Titled libtard garbage. And they write yet another libtard garbage podcast that cannot be reasonable or unbiased even for a minute.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
By the end of the day yesterday, I felt brain dead from watching these people.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
All right. The first one is at a MAGA rally and we are interviewing Trump supporters.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Okay, this one is interviewing on the street right after Donald Trump's most recent inauguration.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Okay, this next one is covering DEI at a rally, and it's from Jimmy Kimmel.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Okay, the last one is from The Daily Show, and they are asking Trump supporters about MAGA.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Okay, Kylie, I think we have some voice memos. We do. We've got a couple of voice memos relating to MAGA idiocy. And up first, we've got Rihanna.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Kylie. Hi. Do we have any reviews? We do. And I'm going to start with a one-star review.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
It's titled Bitter from JFerg484. And they write, this podcast is awful. So much anger because you lost. Get over it.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Yeah, exactly. All right, who's next? Okay, this one is five stars titled Blend Your Makeup, and that's not at you. If you like makeup, well, this is the podcast for you. As a lesbian who rarely wears makeup, I have learned what not to do. For example, if you're going to wear the Cheeto-colored makeup, blend it.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Jennifer makes a very important point to call this terrible atrocity that is happening. Why aren't more of us talking about this? Thank you, Jennifer and Pumps. Keep fighting the good fight.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Anything that allowed you to not have to go to the bathroom for 25 hours? Again, I don't want to send a doctor to get mad at me. I don't want my doctor to get mad at me. But I really spent time dehydrating myself beforehand, so I did not have to go to the bathroom. You didn't have to go to the bathroom at all for 25 hours. Again...
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
We've got some DEI voice memos. Excellent. Up first, we've got Emma.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah. Okay, next. Okay, up next we've got, for YouTube watchers, a video submission. Okay.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Oh, isn't that sad? And a bully, no less. Okay. Speaking of masculinity, next we've got Luke.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Hi. Before I read your reviews today, a fan sent me something that I have to show you. And if everyone remembers on a previous episode, you described your issue with your door and your sign that says stop, do not enter. So a fan made you a new sign to put up. Okay. It says stop at the top and then it's got a box and it says, are you here for slash? Do you check any of the following boxes?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And then it lists Botox appointment, spa appointment, legal appointment, medical appointment, wear knotted headbands. Use Stanley cups, triple trumper, titty baby, power mom or dad, evangelical Bible thumper, own a Tesla, love gender reveals, or sit on the same side of the booth. If so, turn around.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
All right, Kylie, what's next? Okay, we've got some reviews and I'm going to start with a one-star review. Oh, good.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
titled used to be good and they write i can't even listen anymore the hosts have become so unbearable and overly political and the thing is many of their politics i agree with but they just don't know what they're talking about jennifer and angie aren't intellectual heavyweights by any means that was the charm of the show it was shallow And that's what made it enjoyable.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
All right. Five stars titled Love. And Bella writes, as a Gen Z listener who's not a gay-triot or a they-triot, I want to coin a new term for the just girlies who are here to be patriots. And I want to be a slay-triot. Love it. Caw-caw. That sounds like that's definitely a Gen Z because my daughter says that.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Okay, I've got one more review for you. Five stars titled The Algorithm Gods Have Delivered Me. Pecan Boy writes, things are so stressful in Trump's America, but being able to listen to these two elderly lesbians bash on the whiny titty babies running our country is a wonderful reprieve for a couple hours each week. Love you both already from a California gaytriot. Thank you for that term.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Kylie. Yes. Hello. How are you? I'm mad at you. I know. I didn't even notice. Not even a little bit.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
I actually do have a couple people that are with you, and I'm going to read them. This is a five-star review from Dawn, and she says, This podcast is how I'm planning to find more joy during these next four years. The caca opening is super annoying and almost made me shut down and stop listening.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
But if you can get past that ridiculous sound, this podcast is perfect for someone looking for company in airing petty grievances and finding community and sanity in this insane world.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Oh, God, I love you so much, Pumps. Kylie, what's next? Okay, this one is five stars, titled, Hashtag MAGA Our New Home Base. Patriots, I summon you here. You will not regret jumping in this living water well of unadulterated patriotic banter. Subscribe quick before Fox News snatches them up. God bless. Hashtag America. Hashtag MAGA.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
We do. Up first is Wesley, and he's seeking some advice. Oh, good.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Hello, my mothers. I know this is a podcast about grievances, but at this point, y'all are like my life coaches. So here's the question for you all. What do you do when your best friend starts dating somebody that you cannot stand? So in the past, my philosophy has always been tell my friend once, never bring it up again unless they bring it up. But good God, like I cannot stand.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Jen, what did you do when Pumps was married to her husband? I don't want to be in the same room as this person. I don't want to be in the same car. I don't want to breathe the same air. I don't want to be socially associated with them. I mean, when I even think about it, my heart rate is like Tucker Carlson when Obama wore a tan suit. What do I do?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I want to take it literally. That she literally barked at him? Yeah, just for me, I like picturing that. Okay.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Okay, the last one is from Gwen, and she's also seeking your advice. Oh, good. Okay.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
might be an overstatement but in that particular capacity i'm no fool welcome to i've had it i'm jennifer i'm angie kylie what'd you find out about the lids i found out that it is because it's a safety issue and people use water bottles with the lid on tight full of liquid as weapons bullshit okay but here's the thing why couldn't you use a bottle of soda
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Or no, is it meat mall, meat curtain? Kelly, what is it? Well, is it 1-800-MEAT-FLAP? Meat mall. Meat mall, yeah.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Kylie, what's going on on the Internet? I've got two reviews for you today. And this one is titled A Masterclass in Chewing People Out. Five stars from the queer Cajun. And they write, no one is safe from the verbal lashings of Meemaw Meat Curtains and Blessica. And honestly, thank God.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
My favorite part of every Tuesday and Thursday morning is cooking breakfast while y'all chew out every corner of the American population. From influencers and small talk to yoga instructors and Facebook moms, you two somehow say exactly what I'm thinking before I even knew it.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I've got two reviews for you today. The first I'm going to read is from KK Ray titled you down with the HBIC. Yeah, you know, dot dot dot five stars. Given the current political climate, did I a gay truant who plays pickleball and is also a divorce lawyer, hopefully without me.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Think a podcast that boasts America's Legal Eagle slash HBIC, as well as the Steffi Graf of the tennis pickleball world would exist. 100 plus episodes and a Patreon subscription later, I can thank TikTok for having these hope diamonds show up in my feed a few months ago.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Until now, I hadn't been able to find the right Venn diagram for a podcast that is equal parts 12-year-old boy humor, hard-hitting episodes dedicated to protecting the marginalized, and griping about the worst grievances witnessed on a daily basis and the importance of female friendships. Thank you, Kiki and Swedish Fish, for getting us the content on a daily basis.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And to our HBVIC and her much younger partner in crime, all I can say is cuckaw.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Okay. Next we've got five stars. You keep me going from Luke and he writes, I'm Luke. I'm a queer kid who was recently displaced because of a fight with my stepdad in living with my grandmother right now. But y'all give me the courage to keep going. I fall asleep to y'all complaining every night and it makes me feel better.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Like one day I'll be able to stop and breathe for a second and have some fun.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yeah. I also, every single place you've named, I recently was at the ER with my girlfriend. I was vaping the entire time. We were there till 6am. Yeah. Airplanes. There's nowhere I won't. Right. Nowhere.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Voice memos? We've got voice memos today. Excellent. And up first, we're going to listen to Erin.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Kylie, have you noticed the camera roll? I refuse to update my phone because I know all about that update.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Kylie, what's going on on the World Wide Web? I've got a couple of really important reviews that I'm going to read you today. We have an update from the prom date that you turned down, Angie. Okay.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
He says, I'm really putting myself out there right now. But hold your cringe for one second. Since your flippant rejection of my first offer, I have been crafting a rebuttal. Pumps the Pod has not been the same since you crushed my heart. I haven't listened for a couple weeks because your voice just hurts to hear anywhere but the other end of my telephone.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Can provide background checks and references. Bring your own chaperones. You get the hotel rooms. I'll cover the limos. April 26th. A blue dot in a sea of Midwest red, but a safe space. I've been watching Suits to try and understand the complicated needs and emotions women of the law experience. Stop running from a good dude. In reality and in big dick energy, I drive a hybrid.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Educated but not a dick. Eagerly anticipating your counter offer. I also have a field trip to Europe this May slash June.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Okay. Up next, five stars titled Fine, Leave Us Alone from Cody. And he says, here is your dang review. Might even be a second. Closeted listener here that never promotes your guy's pod and listens with headphones while working. I love it so much. This review is from great old conservative North Dakota. Do not come here.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
ChatGPT, or as Josh calls it, ChatGPS. Oh, I've never done it. Okay. I've actually got one queued up from a Stephen Smith, and I do believe this is an AI jingle. Okay.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I know I am. Yeah. I spend I hate responding to texts. And then so for work, I do my best to respond to that. You're outside of work. No one gets a response from me. Not one person. Really? All my friends know, like, don't expect a text back. It says that your slow replyers are emotionally unavailable.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I've got two reviews for you. And I'm going to start with a five star titled The Queens of Mean. And they write, we absolutely love The Queens of Mean. Jen's heartfelt barbs on Meemaw's dry dock sex life. Pumps attention to the little dick magas and their tiny hands. We listen every Tuesday and Thursday and conduct our own I've Had It Petty Grievances with our local hashtag Gaytriots. Keep it up.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay, we've got a one-star review from Chaz in Germany titled Brain Rot Fuel. And he writes... Ha ha ha!
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
in charge in charge all right kylie what's going on on the world wide web i've got two reviews for you today excellent the first one is five stars titled advanced age tags i wish were my moms and jacob writes i'm a proud gay man who lives in dallas texas my partner and i drive a lot to illinois and this horribly funded podcast Is what gets us through the day for the long drives.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
The two old bitter hags and one monotoned lesbian have me in tears from laughing so much. Jen, the athlete, in quotes, and Pumps, parentheses, closeted lesbian, are the moms I wish I had. When I get to my advanced, and for Pumps, my very, very, very, very advanced age, I want to be just like them. Love you, ladies, and what y'all represent. Keep fighting the good fight. Kaka.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
All right. What's the next review? Here's the next one titled Five Star Middle Finger from Tulsa. And Kyle writes, this podcast makes me want to run through a Hobby Lobby butt naked screaming, I've had it. These two are the patron saints of saying what everyone's thinking, but is too sober to admit. I live in Tulsa, but if I ever end up in OKC, it'll be because I was summoned by their chaos.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
Calling themselves a DEI podcast is the kind of delusion I respect. I laugh, I scream, I question my morals, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Bless these spicy harpies for giving me my week, giving my week the unfiltered nonsense it desperately needs.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Matt, before you came on, I just played for our listener the video of you talking about the gender reveal party with a MAGA politician that could possibly be caught in a gay tryst. And I feel that with every fiber in my body. I inject that shit into my veins.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Yeah. We said before we had you on that. How fun would it be? If whenever the Dems get power back, if we say, OK, just for spite, what we're going to do is we're going to start with Ted Cruz. We want your browser history and we're going to give a PowerPoint presentation to every citizen live on TV. We're going to go through every little dirty thing you ever looked at, Ted. We're going to pause.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
We're going to see where you stopped it. We're all going to watch it together as a country. Just for spite. And I think, Matthew, you could lead this. I think you could lead the PowerPoint presentation.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
That's the information I want. That's what America needs out of their leadership. I want to know what gets replayed.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. I've had it with people spitting on the street. Oh, yes. It's so gross. Disgusting. It just disgusts me. You're walking down the street and somebody just like a loogie and they spit it. When we were in New York last week.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Yes. We believe facts. We value expertise. We don't have a problem with gay people or black people. Yeah. always value a more equal place and we think donald trump is a moron and i can't believe that tens of millions of people tripled down on that piece of and said yes this is a great idea let's let him lead the country what do you think is worse the evil or the stupid
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I think it's the stupid ambition that is worse because the stupid people are ambitious. A lot of stupid people aren't, but this particular breed of stupid people are ambitious in their stupidity.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Yeah. I think the psychology of all of this is kind of interesting. Like you're walking down the street and there's always kind of an unspoken rule that one person you're about to cross, Run right into somebody. So one person goes right and one person goes left to avoid each other. But from time to time, you have somebody that just bucks up.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Like, I mean, they buck up and you can tell this is a bull in a china closet and they're just coming right after me. So this happened to me recently and I thought, I'm going to buck up too. Like I'm matching the energy.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I'm going to match this energy. And then ultimately, I mean, I was just, you know, guns blazing and the person did kind of like, like fade away. But you're saying that you buck right back up and then just shoulder check him and just go on.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
We're walking down the street and this guy like puts one finger over one nostril and then just blows a big snot bug out the other one into the street and just walks on like it was totally normal. That's so gross. It's so disgusting. I'm just like, for fuck's sake, are we serious now? We're blowing our nose on the side of the street walking. With no, you know, tissue or anything to catch anything.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
OK, we'd emailed with you prior to having you on and you said that you had a lot of grievances with airport etiquette. And this is something we travel all the time for the podcast. And airport etiquette is something that we've been trying to whistleblow about from the very first days of this podcast. We recently had the mayor.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
of our city on this show to confront him about airport policies and procedures. So this is something we take very seriously here at I've Had It. And I want you to know that this is a very safe space to really get to the deep dark bottom of all of the fuckery that's going on at the airport.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Well, because we live in Oklahoma City, there's not like a major hub. So we fly American Delta United equally.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
At all costs. And I'll tell you why. The flight attendants are not comedians. And they try to be a flight attendant and a comedian at the same time. And I don't like that slapstick flight attendant humor. If I want to go to a comedy show, I will go to yours and I will see you. And I've signed up for that. But when I'm on an airplane, I'm fighting for my life. Okay. I'm doing breathing exercises.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I'm trying to get through it. I'm trying not to talk to the person next to me and send fuck you energy without being a complete cunt as best I can. It takes a lot of energy to do that. So that's why I don't fly Southwest.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I literally want to scream at the top of my lungs, put a sock in it, shut the fuck up and do the procedure. Like you say, I want to be somewhat scared of the flight attendant. I want to know that they are in charge if the plane goes down.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
That they're going to have the strength and the wherewithal to remove the door and start bossing us off the plane to survive and make sure we have our vests on and all that stuff. I like you as a comedian. I don't think you have – I don't think you're flight attendant ready. I don't think that you're ready to lead us through the battlefield on a flight. That's just all I'm saying. No.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
And when they start feeding, I call this feeding stray cats. So the flight attendant starts. She starts with the joke, and then you have the people that giggle at it. And then they think, oh. I've got a real live audience here. And then they escalate. They like. And they escalate. What happens when you feed a stray cat? They come back for more and for more and for more.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
So the stray cats, I hate the most because they've enabled this behavior. If there were a bunch of us on one flight, even if the joke was hilarious, I would burn a thousand calories contorting my face and my stomach to not laugh. just to send a signal that this is not the time nor place. I mean, I would lead the charge in saying, I will refuse to laugh at this.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
So then that flight attendant would know, I've got to run a tight ship on this plane. I'm not a comedian.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
You want everyone to see this. I would rather have seen his dick. Oh, 100%. Than that snot coming out. Of his nose like that. It just, the spitting and the snotting and then just all of the liquids that are going in and out of everybody's bodies all the time. I've had it. I don't want to watch people drink things anymore. I don't want to watch people. to secrete things out of their body anymore.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
That's the kind of leadership I like. That's the kind of leadership this country needs. Because how maddening is it when you're in line and you get up there and then somebody, they have their shoes on, their cell phone in their pocket, they don't have their ID on.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Same thing mystifies me at, you know, when you go to a restaurant and you have to get in the line to order and then you go pick your table. When the line's 30 minutes long and the person's been standing there for 30 minutes and then they get up to the register and it's their turn to order and they have no idea what they want to order.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
If I ran the register, I would immediately say, nope, to the back of the line. And this is where I need flight attendants to be because what I like about flight attendants is they're bossy. I like when you get on there, like sit down. Nope. Bag has to be fully under. They don't take shit. And I like it.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I like that type of we're all going to be on this bird, you know, thousands of miles of feet in the air. I like for flight attendants to be in charge and boss us around. And and I think they should start kicking people off the plane that are assholes. Cut the comedy routine. Boss us around. We need this type of order on this plane. Completely agree.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Okay. Okay. Listen, she's, she's in recovery and I don't, and I really don't drink either. So I, I do love coffee and that is something I could go down the rabbit hole, but let me ask you this while you're standing there asking these questions, does any part of you feel like an asshole at all?
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Okay. Now we're going to play a game with you called had it or hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay, had it or hid it dating podcasts?
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Oh, I agree with that. Totally. I've been thinking a lot about podcasts since the election results. And you saw Trump kind of flood the zone. He did Rogan. He did all of these other bro podcasts. And obviously we have a podcast. And so I've been thinking a lot about it. And I think...
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Podcasts have really become like where boys listen to this podcast and then you have the girly podcasts where they talk about influencing and things. And both of these spheres are like reinforcing these gender roles. And I don't know how healthy it is where you have all of these very stereotypical female podcasts where you're talking about these really superficial, vapid girl things.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
And then you have these bro podcasts where you're talking about how to be a tough guy and a badass and all this stuff. And I think that... We should all work to make more spaces that are digestible for everybody. And I don't know.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I don't want any of it. I want to opt out of all of it. I'm tired of the liquids going in and out of human bodies all the time. I can't take it anymore.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
The fact that Rogan could have that big of an audience and that big of an impact over men and you see young guys and the misogyny is off the charts, it's really worrying.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I agree. That's a really brilliant point. Like if you're going to be a misogynist, be a fixer.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Totally. That's such a brilliant point. Okay. Had it or hid it, public restrooms.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I like that. I like that response. Okay. Had it or hit it. People who walk their cats.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Whenever my skeletons come out and say I knew it. Let me rephrase, Matt. Listener, Matt is a good-ish person. Yeah.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Good-ish. Yes. Okay. I'll take it. All right. Last one. Had it or hit it. Millennials.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
It was really fun. So I used to browbeat millennials because the feelings were too much. It was just too much processing and too much feeling. I'm like, why does everything have to be a feeling? Sometimes you just do shit. It's not fun. You push through it. Let's not fucking talk about it. Shut the fuck up. But I've evolved on millennials, but I never wanted millennials – To like us.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Let's share with the listener about our lunch that we were having in New York. It was awful. And the man that was sitting behind us. And why don't you do an impersonation of of what he did. Why don't you do a dramatic, a dramatic reenactment.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
We have this like we were feral people like we were we ran around without cell phones and shoes and all sorts of crazy shit. So I never had this strong desire for millennials to like us. But that's interesting that you all want Gen Z to like you.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
No, they feel a lot more. And for Gen Xers, it's difficult to navigate people that have to feel everything. Like what I want our listener, younger listeners to take away is, You can cherry pick your feelings. You don't have to feel every moment, every single day, all the time. It's okay to go, well, that kind of sucked, but I really don't feel like processing it right now. I'm going to move on.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
It's fine to do that. Like it's perfectly normal to go, well, God, that guy was a total dick, but not worth my time. I'm moving on. I'm not going to think about it anymore. Instead of going somewhere and sitting down and And having a FaceTime call and a committee meeting and processing your feelings because somebody was mean to you at Home Depot. I just think we've got to toughen up a little bit.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
And there are big things that really hurt that I want to be there for and I want to embrace. And there's real abuse, real trauma, and all of those things are real. But people being dicks, that's just the human experience. Right.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Matt, tell us about what you have going on in your career and how our listeners can find you and what kind of comedy routines you have going.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I do, as long as they're not from a flight attendant. Right. Well, Matt, this has been so fun. So fun.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Yes, absolutely. We're not going to pre-surrender to fascism. No. Yeah. We're going to keep speaking out and we're doing it from a very red state and we do not give a fuck. And that's the energy we all need to take to 2025.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Absolutely. Matt, this has been so fun. We're going to follow you and I can't wait to watch your new show coming out on YouTube.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Let's say that that flight attendant was absolutely hysterical. The deadpan humor, you know, knee slapper after knee slapper. We have to sit there united. I mean, you can't even start doing a little mini bounce. So think of the core exercise in trying to maintain balance.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
See, I needed that girl to know, like, this is not for you. And it's okay. It's okay. It's okay that you learn that maybe you're not supposed to be a stand-up comedian. And it's okay. What's not okay... It's lying to people and telling them they're good at something when they're not. That is really one of the meanest things I think you can do to somebody.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
But then there was that really deep guttural thing that he did. He'd go. Okay. Before all the snot and the inhaling and the exhaling, it was like this growl, like this deranged, unhealthy, needs to be in hospice growl. But he's at a restaurant in Manhattan sitting there like it's normal behavior.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I literally sat there and I'm thinking, this is my spare time. And I came to this comedy show and they had two openers. Two. For the main one. And I came to see the main one. And this horrible, horrible opener came out. It was bad. Here's what gets me about it. The people that work the place, the people surrounding this person, nobody ever said, this is not the right profession for you.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I appreciate that you like stand-up comedy, but you are not a stand-up comedian. There are literally millions of other things you can dive into, but this is not for you. So I am the resistance in that audience. And I wanted to be a statue and I was not going to participate in the fraud.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
that this woman it was was a stand-up comedian that insulted my intelligence my sense of humor and i just there was nothing funny about any of it from top to bottom start to finish it was terrible and it's okay to tell people they're terrible at something i'm so tired of having to fucking pump unicorns and rainbows up everybody's ass all the time i've had it i had it
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
If you're not good at something, just own it. Like, I'm not a great camper. I'm not a great podcaster. I couldn't start a fire.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
See, these are the things like I'm not good at stand up comedy. I've never tried it. I'm going to tell you something. I was an average tap dancer when I was a little girl. Really? I would have picked you with the long legs. I mean, I was pretty good. I wasn't as good as some of the girls, but I'd say it was average. I'm not that great at tennis, but I play every day with enthusiasm.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
But it's OK for my coach and for people to tell me. Jennifer, you're not that great at tennis. I just don't want them to tell me I'm not an athlete.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's the message that we need to send to people starting with flight attendants all the way to that girl. that pretended she was a stand-up comedian, which apparently two people in this room went along with that ruse. Yeah, we did. We failed. You went along with it, and you know what you did?
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Okay. We don't have any shows. We have a Patreon. We have a YouTube channel. We have another podcast.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
We made eye contact with her and we were all just like. No, she even said she was like, what was that? I thought was there a bear in the restaurant? Yes. You can't walk into a restaurant and start growling.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
and snot slinging and doing all of this crap you just can't do that and i just again it goes back to the liquids it goes back to the constant need to put something in the body and the constant need to put it out of the body in out in out i don't want any part of any of this anymore i it all is linked we know what i think it's going to Stanley Cups.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
And then we know what Stanley Cups leads to, which we're about to head into a four year reign terror of Stanley Cup politics.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I've really had it. I really have. I've really had it. Stanley cup has taken a lot from me. It really has. They've taken a lot. It's just, it's, they have fetishized hydration in a way that is so performative and so stupid that I even hate drinking and I don't want to watch other people drink. And I don't want to share.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I think like when we start going out to lunch and stuff, they'll be like, what would you like to drink? And I'll say, nothing. Nothing.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kylie, what do you think about our we're not going to drink anything ever again?
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I think maybe at one point we talked, we spoke about on our podcast about maybe how uptight Maggie gets and maybe they're masturbating or something. But here's the thing. This is a pearl clutcher. Right. For sure. I mean, got upset because somebody said a tub of Vaseline and then goes and looks up our podcast, gets reviewed, so fucking mad about it and writes it out.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
That is the energy I'm taking to the restaurants when I launch my dehydration plan. That is the exact, you know what I'm going to do? The waitress will come up and say, what can I get you to drink? I'll say, haterade. Yeah. She'll say, excuse me. I'll say, do you not have haterade? She'll say no. So then I'm not drinking. No drinking and none for her. None for her. I don't want anybody in this.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
And I need for you to move everybody from my sight line that is drinking because I don't want to see it. I think that's a great idea. Yeah. Like if they have a drink, they have to get up and move. I don't want them in my sight line. I like it. Yeah. If she gets to go on or whoever this is, our reviews and be that crazy. I want to be that crazy.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
That's nice. Oh, I have to tell you at our New York show, these people were in the line, the VIP meet and greet line. And they said they wrote a review and the subject matter of the review was Kathy, read this. Okay. And you hadn't read it. And I told them that I would tell you And so I thought it'd be more fun to do it on air than off air.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
So to the listener that we met in New York, this is the call out. This is it.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
In the permanent record. Yeah. In the permanent record. I'll track it down. We want to see it. I would now like to read something from the news. Okay. Pardon me while I have a quick sip of water. Oh my gosh. It's Haterade. Thanks. Okay. Put a little drop of haterade in it. Pardon me, listener, while I have a small little sip of haterade before I do my dramatic reading of the news. Oh, my God.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
ready one two three gay triots patriots they triots that's right we're back that's right there's no more pussy fitting around no more licking our wounds fall off the horse you got to climb back on get your meat curtains and climb back on that's right and i'm thinking about doing a double caca i mean i haven't started over gay triots patriots they triots
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
That haterade is just delicious. Is it just what the doctor ordered? Absolutely. Okay. The Daily Beast did a story about an airline and it says an airline was forced to apologize Monday after accidentally screening 40 minutes of penis and boobs to an entire aircraft full of unwitting passengers.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
The cockpit cock-up apparently occurred after a technical fault rendered individual in-flight movie screen selection unavailable. Staff held a quick poll, which resulted in a small selection of passengers picking this year's racy Dakota Johnson flick, Daddy-O, featuring an erect penis, prolonged sexting exchanges, and profuse use of the word fuck to play on every screen.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
It was apparently only about halfway through the movie that eyebrows were sufficiently raised for staff to change it to something a little more family friendly, with passengers complaining that the screens were locked and they were unable to turn it off before the staff realized what was happening. Fucking love that.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
The stream. Then maybe you can go to the review section and write a review. Yeah. That you're so shocked and outraged at the erect penis. It was nasty.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Okay. We have a guest today. And I want to tell you how we found this guest. I think maybe a listener might have sent us a video. Is that right? Correct. A listener, probably somebody in our Patreon cult. sent us a video of this comedian. And I instantly said to Kathy, book him on the pod, 911. Immediately, pumps agreed.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
And I want to play for you the clip in which we discovered this comedian and why we love him so much.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I've never had a computer that a phone charger worked for. Did it not? Was it just the iPad and the phone? I think maybe the iPad and the phone. I've never had a computer that was universal.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I mean, I think that is so good because I experienced that when I find out that there's some affair. Like if you found out Mike Johnson, if it dripped out that it was an affair, you would be like crossing your fingers. Please let it be a guy.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Because you know what? His wife devoted all of her time to a pray the gay away center.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Yeah. Moses Mike's wife. It's all coming into complete focus now. This is why when the Democrats regain power, I want them to be more unhinged than they've ever been. And I want them to say, just for spite, since you put us through all of these years of this shit. We want everybody's browser history and we're going to publish it.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
And I know it's crazy and I know it's unhinged, but you get to have retribution. This is what we want ours to be. We're starting with Ted Cruz.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
We're just starting with Ted. We're starting with Ted. And then we're just going to trickle him. I want a full PowerPoint presentation too, presented by some really smart comedian. But speaking of smart comedians, let's welcome to our show because you and I could dive down that rabbit hole forever. Matt Broussard.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. As I prepare to purchase everything for everybody on my holiday list this season, Skims has made this very simple for me. They have a holiday shop. They have amazing items in the holiday shop.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
So I'm literally going to knock out about 75% of the people on my list by gifting them Skims. And I know that it's going to be a dynamite gift because I wear Skims every single day. I cannot get enough of their bralettes. And they have the most amazing, comfortable robe I have ever worn in my life.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
I love that. Listener, be cute and festive like pumps. Shop Skims Holiday Shop at Skims.com. Available in styles for women, men, kids, and even pets. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. All right, let's welcome Matt Broussard.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Right now I'm looking at, there's a website called Military Cupid to meet single military guys. And there's also MD Date to meet doctors.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I've got two reviews I'm going to pull up for you here. This one is five stars titled My Happy Place from Proud Libtard. And they write, the hours I get to listen to these incredible women say everything I've been thinking and more is my weekly zen. I cannot go into my local grocery store, in parentheses, filled with old white men and MAGA hats without these ladies playing in my head.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I laugh out loud, especially knowing that they have no idea that I am silently bashing them with my girls. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Ka-ka.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I do too. I like it, Pumps. All right. Okay, this one is one star titled, possibly the worst pod. And they write, never been more annoyed or given up on trying a new pod so quickly. Would give zero stars if possible.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Yeah, it was an initial, and I got it changed into something else. So are you the initiator? Are you the initiator of all this shit?
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Okay, I've got a couple reviews for you. This one is titled, I Love to Complain, five stars, from Maureen. Jessica, Meat Curtains, and Kathy are the best part of my morning commute. I start almost every day pumping my veins with miserable, petty complaints, and I believe it fuels me. I, myself, am always annoyed in public and think most people are stupid and inconsiderate.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
These oldies make me feel less alone. I'm only 25. So when I'm ancient like the hosts, I know for a fact I will be just as miserable looking forward to it.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Okay. Do you guys want to do some voice memos today? Yes. My favorite. Okay. Up first, we've got Corey. Corey.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I've got some reviews for you guys today. Excellent. I also just want to know, every time you list your biggest red flags in a relationship, I just look down and check, check, check, check. You have all of them? Well, I haven't been around long enough to do vow renewal yet.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Yeah, there's no man that, yeah, I just think it's more inherent for women to want to do bigger romantic. Let me tell you this.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I have matching anniversary date tattoos with Anna. I also have, we have each other's initials. We've also given each other tattoos.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I've got one more for you, short and sweet. Oral Roberts is hands down the greatest drag name of all time. I totally agree with this.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
We've got some voice from those today. Excellent. We're going to kick it off with Tammy M.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Like the more followers you have, the more your page is worth. So it's like prime real estate to advertise. So I've had a lot of favorite accounts that all of a sudden become something completely different. They don't even post the same stuff. Like that's odd to me that there's Larry David stuff still in there. Yeah. Just go the full OnlyFans.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And lack of technological skills. The problem is she would be typing in fansonly.com. That's why you're not finding it.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Here's what they say. I've got a couple of reviews. This one is five stars titled pumps is fixated on little league from maxi. And they write last night. I had a dream that pumps got a starring role in a legal drama as a high powered attorney, but the show nearly flopped when she insisted that there be a subplot where she moonlights as a little league coach.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Thankfully, the writers saved the show by pivoting to her character having a forbidden love interest with a personal chef. Jen said the on-screen chemistry was believable thanks to her male co-star, Pumps acting not so much. Anyway, listen to the podcast at your own risk, five stars.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Yes. And I will say, anytime a fan sees me outside, the number one question I get asked is, is Pumps really a lesbian? Yeah. Really?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Yeah, because you have sex with a guy and you're like, what is everyone talking about?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Yeah. And then that's where online dating apps come in. But you know I'm not going to do an online dating app.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Yeah, so they were just posting about their relationship. They're not influencers. They don't have a lot of followers. And they got this hateful message from a burner account. And it said things like, fuck you, F word. And it just goes on. I hope you burn in hell. I hope you die. I hope you get shot. I hope you get murdered. Whatever.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Ana posted it on her story because we get messages like that all the time. And we don't usually like to platform them, but she wanted to post that so that people see it. Her family sees it. These people that vote for Trump see what is really happening behind the scenes.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
We've got some voice memos. Okay. Great. I'm going to kick it off with someone that has an idea for Angela.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Yeah, I think you should do it. All right. Who's next? Okay. Up next, we've got Ashley.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I've got a couple reviews for you. Five stars from Brad titled Gay from Small Town Oklahoma. And he says, I was born and raised in a very small town outside of Oklahoma City. It was hard growing up gay where everyone hated gays. That said, I'm not proud of anything about Oklahoma except for three things. These two ladies and Brahms keep being a bright blue dot in the hellscape of Oklahoma.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Okay, this one is five stars. titled Lackluster Listener, and they finally got around to reviewing. Worth five stars, I guess.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And would I name it after an ex? And, you know, why not? Yeah, I mean, I think you would. I think you would. Would you?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I didn't even know that. Bitch, get some actual friends your own age and stop ridiculing your three-year-old for not having a full-time job in a 401k. They didn't ask to be plastered all over Beyonce's internet with your tired jokes, begging y'all to come up with a single original thought instead of relying on cringy social media trends as a substitute for a sense of humor.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
My guess is there's a big market for like iPad kids ages up to like six. And then I think it skips until like 50 and up.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
She gets like a post-sex glow when it's a good one. She's beaming. She floats into the office.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I've got two five-star reviews for you today. This one is titled, From Had It to Hit It. And they write, my partner listens to you all the time. Over the past few months, I've heard more and more of you all and initially could not stand you.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I used to dread when he played you in the car or around the house because I see enough negativity in my career as a nurse. Then I slowly started enjoying the commentary and even looking forward to our common and agreeable grievances in this podcast.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I now actively seek you guys out on my own and cling to your support of relationships like mine and all other LGBTQ plus in these visceral and trying times. I am now a self-proclaimed gaytriot and actively recommend you to all my friends. Thank you for being a twisted light in this ever worsening Trump's America caca.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
All right, Kylie. All right. This one's five stars titled Code Cracked. And they write, these two biddies harp on and on about shrieking toddlers, bratty kids and enabling parents. You may ask yourself why they furrow those Botoxed brows into such school marmish pretzels. Alas, I have the answer.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
They see and discuss the biggest tantruming toddler dumping his filthy diaper all over our government, constitution, and country. And now he has added another spoiled titty baby to his playpen to double down on the destruction. The biddies are trying to keep other parents from raising such monsters. There should be an award for such philanthropy. They are the bestest biddy buddies ever.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
People who put antlers and a Rudolph nose on their damn car. Same vein. Eyelashes on a VW bug. Like, that does not have a beating heart. You don't have to dress it up. Channel that energy somewhere else because I cannot stand it. I've told everybody I know, if you ever see me put antlers or eyelashes on my car, know that that is a cry for help and I need to be committed. Full stop. I've had it.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
All right. Kylie. Okay. I've got some reviews for you today. This one is five stars titled Get Better Soon. And she writes, I think it's time we all send DJT and his entire cabinet Get Better Soon cards, not because they're sick, but because they need to get better at their motherfucking job and soon. Thank you both for being the unfiltered therapy we didn't have to copay for.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Okay. This one is five stars titled baptized by a beaver. And they write for anyone who's looking for a holy connection to a podcast that will change the trajectory of your life. Keep looking. This lesbian podcast teaches you how to keep your husky clean, raw dog in Florida, and after you join the cult, you may be baptized by a beaver.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
The older lesbian couple is slow due to their old age, but the senior citizen home director, Kelly, is paid well and makes sure they have their meds cacao.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
First off, I want to say the lady yesterday. Yeah, I can still see her in my head if we want to do like a sketch artist. Oh, I like that. I know exactly what she looks like. And then we could find her on social media. Did she seem like she was an idiot? A hundred percent. She also was, like you said, mad at me and like I owed her instructions and to walk her to the building she's looking for.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Okay, we've got another one. This one is five stars titled Make-A-Wish. And they write, I just wanted to give a review and say it was such a great thing for Blessica to give Joshy his Make-A-Wish day of being on the podcast after dealing with COPD, mesothelioma, and lead poisoning from his nut shaver.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I was concerned that Meemaw fell down at the retirement home and we haven't been told yet, but I will pray on this as I decorate my child's bed for getting into University of City Baby State College campus. This podcast gives me so much joy in a dark time, especially living in D.C. and fairly close to that man and his drag queen best friend.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Special shout out to Katie Ann behind the mic, keeping everything going. Love you all. Prayers for Meemaw.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
She did a phone interview follow-up, and so I have just a couple quotes for her. Okay, let's hear them. She says, quote, I wanted to punch her in the face, but I pooped on her car instead and went home. And then she also told them that it was a clean poop and she didn't even have to wipe it.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Is she in jail? She's not in jail. She's not in jail. She's out on bond. Is she? Okay. She probably has an OR bond. Let's see what I can do.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Zero remorse. Read us those quotes again. She said, I wanted to punch her in the face. Instead, I pooped on her car and drove home. And then she said, it was a clean poop. I didn't even have to wipe. She also says that she has a sickness.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
obviously what irritable bowel syndrome i don't know what's the sickness mental or if she means physical obviously both i mean everybody knew that she had some type of sickness when that thing came out i read that the uh the victim allegedly yelled at her calling her a fat bitch right before it happened so oh the plot thickens it's not so innocent
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
wait do i say welcome to i've had it have we done that yet yeah we did that okay sorry listener um kylie yes i've got some reviews for you today okay this first one is three stars titled sometimes average sometimes funny and they write jennifer and angie are eat sleep breathe trump obsessed they think about him all day and night the republican party lives rent free in this podcast i don't understand the obsession jennifer claims to be middle of the road what the
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
When it comes to politics, but she's so obsessed with Trump, there is nothing middle of the road about it. Typical white woman.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Okay, this one is five stars titled, My Two Favorite DEI Degenerates. I love that. A thousand percent the best thing ever out of Oklahoma. Ladies, as a drag performer, cross-dresser, whatever you want to call us, I personally am thrilled to have you as fellow Okies and strong women at the forefront of this orange Jesus era. Love, love, love you both. Keep the content going. P.S.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
You'd both be absolutely blown away at the amount of conservative men who beg girls like me for a taste.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
We do. We have voice memos. Okay. Up first, I've got one from Matthew H., and he sent along some receipts to follow it.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Okay, so what are the receipts? Okay, so he sent along the post. on Facebook. It says, never done this before. We plan on going out to dinner to celebrate 11 years of marriage and 14 years of being a couple. Dropping $5 would be awesome. Love and peace. And then he also sent along this guy's bio. It says, love God, love people. The rest takes care of itself if you seek his kingdom first.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Do they try to get rid of the lesbian? I got dunked like before I was conscious. Oh, like christened? Uh-huh. And then I remember at church camp, I was like, yeah, I want to make this decision for me. Wait, did you go into like a lake or was it a tank? Mine was actually in a swimming pool when I was older, probably like 12, 13.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I've got a couple of reviews for you today. Up first, we've got five stars titled Spilling the Tea, Not the MAGA. If you're thirsty for a podcast that quenches your need for brutal honesty, I've Had It is your oversized Stanley Cup of tea minus the MAGA aftertaste.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Jennifer Welch and Angie Pump Sullivan serving up piping hot takes with the vigor of women who've seen it all and aren't afraid to spill the truth. Jennifer's alpha energy could lead a pride of alpha lesbians. That's such a compliment. While Pump's sagging assets... are as unapologetically present as their disdain for all things orange and obnoxious.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
They tackle life's absurdities from the cult to overpriced tumblers to the circus of the right-wing politics with a wit so sharp it could slice through the thickest of delusions. If you're ready to hydrate your soul with laughter and leave the mag of madness parched, tune in and raise a glass. Just make sure it's not a Stanley Cup. Love it.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
That's about right. And that's pushing it. That's like, because I go up and down the stairs at the studio.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
So do you think you're happier than we are as people? I don't know about happier. I'm pretty happy, but I kind of think you guys are secretly happy too. Yeah. We don't want people to know that, but yeah.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Okay. This one is titled Eagle Noises, five stars. And she writes, as a Hispanic woman, I so appreciate the honesty and unity y'all bring after nonstop yapping of I've had it's. May Jennifer always have her sass and may Meemaw always have her curtains. Okay.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Okay, this one is five stars from Jay, titled Brow Beating Works. Okay, Jen, fine. Here I am. These white women with southern accents have my heart. I make it a point to have women's voices emanating from my phone as often as possible. It delights me when I hear my husband laugh at them from the other room. If you think you don't have anything in common with them, you're wrong.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
If you think you know what they're going to say, you're wrong. They make me cackle each episode. Those beautiful jerks. I love it.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
This one is another one-star review. It's titled TDS, which we know stands for Trump Derangement Syndrome. And they write, please get help. You're off the rails.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
We have an influx recently due to the aforementioned Fox. Yeah.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Has it tanked our rating? No, but I thought I would end on a high note. Here's a five star. True allyship. And Jade writes, my wife and I never miss an episode. The head beaver in charge and her younger partner. Ha ha ha. are the true definition of what it means to be an ally. Even when we want to cry, they give us something to laugh about. Thanks for being our favorite DEI podcast.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
You know, I agree 100%. I think we always say some of the worst people are the Christians we know. And it's because they know that they can get away with it. There's a loophole. They're told, confess to a priest, you know, all religions. Just get baptized. You're good to go.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Okay, Kylie, what's next? We've got voice memos today. Let's go. Up first, we've got Tavi.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Case in point, Elon Musk. Okay. Up next, we've got Matt Kemp.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
They're everywhere. I don't know if it's just Oklahoma or if it's international, but everywhere.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Honestly, I think I'm pretty desensitized to it because, like you said, every billboard when we drive around, it's just everywhere. It doesn't even phase me anymore.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I've got some hate comments for you today. Oh, good. This one is one star review titled Nails on a Chalkboard. And they write, if you like the sound of two aggressive pigs bullying their guests and showcasing really... uninformed opinions as rudely and unhinged as possible, then this is your show. I'm a woman and I had to turn this show off because it's cringy and embarrassing.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
This is a good example of just because you can doesn't mean you should. You have been warned.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
OK, I've got another five star titled Psycho Analyzing Everyday Situations. Hi ladies, my name is Carson from South Carolina and I've had it. I would like to first say that because of Jennifer, I'm now psychoanalyzing people in everyday situations. Why does this person feel the need to have 30 Stanleys?
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Why is Applebee's your go-to date spot on a lonely Friday evening, followed by Hannity at nine while you do your skincare with a pearl bedazzled headband? So much pontification and so little time to do it. Anyways, I do indeed have a parasocial relationship with two barely competent middle-aged women, and I've never been so enthralled. Parentheses, I hope you love that word, use Jennifer.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
goddamn reason nobody has the balls to do it and it's just devastating yeah it is disheartening all right next all right up next we've got a joint one from some patreon members oh this is exciting good morning pumps jen and kathy this is emily labuff we met in new york i'm the tall one
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
That's expected. Yeah. All right. Last one, Kylie. Okay. The last one is from Skylar.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
All right, Kylie. Hello. What's going on on the internet? Okay, I've got a five-star review that is going to cheer you up even further. Oh, good. It's titled Orange Makeup Spy. And they write, I'm convinced that Trump's makeup artist is a secret Democrat. I can hear her or him telling Trump, those people don't know what they're talking about.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
They're too poor to know what good makeup blending looks like. Love you, ladies. Oh, that's good.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Hi, Jen. Hey, Pumps. Hey, Kylie. So I love you guys. This podcast is everything to me. I listen to it first thing every Tuesday and Thursday. I know we've talked about this at length about baby showers, but I saw something so egregious show up on my social media this weekend. I just had to share. So they always play their stupid little fucking games of like, guess the gender, blah, blah, blah.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
But for this particular game, they took diapers, melted different chocolate candy bars into them, and then everyone at the party took turns licking the different chocolate, trying to guess what it is. I know we have to blame Trump for everything. But at this point, what can we do about white people? Because my God, not only like that's how the next COVID is going to start.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And then luckily, I'm gay. I don't have to deal with diapers at the moment. But don't they also have a scent? Like, do you want to be licking a Snickers bar with a side of fucking baby powder? Absolutely repulsive, disgusting. I had it with baby showers, but that was just over the fucking top.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Kylie. I've got a couple of reviews for you guys. This one, five stars. The blonde one talks a lot. That narrows it down. Pretty funny, but that blonde one talks a lot. Is that me or her? We're both blonde. That's the joke. Oh, got it. Okay, this one is five stars, titled Proud Beaver in Meemaw's Dam.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Yes. Finally coming out of the closet as an IHIP fan and ripping off my shame. Dumps and Jessica could very well be my mother as I am a 19-year-old trans-triot.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
But I wouldn't want to spend my days at work listening to anything else but these ladies. Finally refreshing to see elder women, parentheses Jessica much younger, address the real pressing issues like children existing and white women with their fake positive attitudes. I'm drinking their Kool-Aid loud and proud now. As one of the beavers in the dam, I'm a real nasty caca.