Laura Danger

50-50 is not necessarily the goal, but working with what capacity you have that, of course, changes ebbs and flows because we are living people, but one where everyone

I like to think you could jump into each other's shoes in a way that meets the family's needs when you both understand how the household functions or could make thoughtful decisions that considers everyone's needs short-term and long-term.

It is, I believe for many people, a process.

You aren't just overnight going to go from like the inequity of giving a list or taking a list to

to suddenly being totally collaborative on everything.

But starting small, even on like, hey, our coffee table broke, instead of the person who usually researches it taking it, let's do this together.

You can just take it chunk by chunk.

I, you know, the one piece that I need to convey is that you cannot convince somebody to take responsibility if they aren't willing to do that for themselves.

And if you are listening to this and thinking, oh, oh, this might be the dynamic at home, sit with it.

See how that feels and think about your own next move because you can only take care of yourself and where you're going to go from here.

A hundred percent.

That's absolutely what weaponized incompetence is about.

It's almost when this becomes a pattern, when somebody fails at something simple as like they've learned how to do the laundry a million times and then continue to say, I just don't know how to do it.

You're better at it.

It's almost like a dare.

Like, I dare you to say something.

I dare you to ask again because there's going to be some kind of emotional fallout or I'm going to ruin all our clothes.

There's some sort of punishment at the end of it.

And that is, in and of itself, it's creating this power struggle, this hierarchy of whose energy, time, and emotional and mental needs are protected over the other.

Oh, 100 percent.