Laura Smyth

We were unable to do stand-up for a year and a half.

So for 18 months, I was a retired professional dancer.

Yeah, yeah.

I didn't do the Strictly.

This was the worst bit.

I didn't do the Strictly tour.

for your tour because I was writing my tour and then I couldn't do my tour anyway so I could have done the Strictly tour they were in arenas having a laugh every night getting pissed they were having a great time listen we're going to find out who's hosting it soon oh you're not planning on having a ring gang oh you two would be great they didn't ask us they didn't ask us we're not trustworthy I don't think we've done my telly you've done Strictly I did the Christmas special oh nice dipped my toe in a little bit you see that's enough

I was, people get, they get sort of in it, even like as comedians, they get in and then, you know, they'll get like, I can't believe I got eight for that.

And you're like, eight?

You're fucking not a dancer?

Like, how dare you?

So, yeah, but that was never me.

I was always fine.

Oh, I mean, a couple of people got voted out before me and couldn't hide how pissed off they were at me because I was like, I'm just getting through on personality alone.

Like, if you're from the North East, you're pretty much... I don't think I've ever said this on the podcast.

When Jo McKeldry was in X Factor, I bought a sausage roll in me local Greg's and she handed me the sausage roll, handed me a change and said, vote Jo.

Fantastic.

Absolutely fantastic.

I thought you meant you knew the person.

I was like, well, the name's Vautour.