Laurel van der Toorn

Yeah, thank you.

It was September, but good try.

I was close.

In just a few minutes, why making friends as an adult feels impossible and why it might not be your fault.

There is a hidden science to friendship.

And what we talk about next could change how you look for your people.

Making friends as an adult can feel weirdly hard.

Like everyone else has theirs locked in and how do you do it?

But what if that doesn't have to be you?

What if you can make friends as an adult?

You just have to think about it a little differently.

I'm here with someone who's recently written about this in the New York Times.

The name of her piece is called I Study Friendship, Here's How You Make Lasting Friends.

Her name is Janice McCabe.

She's a sociology professor at Dartmouth College.

Janice, welcome to the show.

perhaps it's the case that people blame their own awkwardness for not making friends.

Is that true?

Like are people just too awkward as adults to make friends?

Moved to New York five years ago, and it just, I don't know, it felt like everyone had their groups when I first moved here, and I couldn't penetrate in.