Laurel van der Toorn

Does a parent have a right to see a child's bank account?

All that, up next.

We're weighing in on a mother-daughter dilemma here with Laurel Vander Torn, a licensed therapist.

Check her out at Laurel Therapy Collective.

That serves California and Florida.

Laurel, before we jump in, welcome to the show.

Hi.

Let me set this up for you.

A 20-year-old woman with a full-time job, but who still lives at home with mom.

and doesn't pay rent.

She has her mother ask her to disclose all of her financial details, basically to judge what's in her bank account, to judge her spending habits, making the daughter justify them.

The mother then lectures the daughter based on what she sees.

This sounds like a mess.

Let's pick it apart.

What's your first take when you hear parents kind of peering into young but adult children's finances?

Okay, so the daughter doesn't feel she's being frivolous.

What could some of those criticisms be for my mother when one doesn't feel like there's misspending, but mom does?

Side note, this is giving me flashbacks to my early 20s.

Like, difference of opinions, I guess?

Well, if you can afford your splurges and you do them, you know, responsibly, I suppose someone could judge you for splurging in the first place.