Lauren Karch

And I don't really like sports, but I did want to hear his accent being used for its intended purpose, which is cursing the Red Sox.

And I started listening to my mom's favorite true crime podcast because I wanted to see if I, like her, could learn to discern who was guilty based on the guilt in the murderer's voice.

And kind of, yeah.

But the biggest victim in all this was my best friend Katie.

I had told her about my hearing problems, but I didn't tell her about the playlist because it's insane.

And, but the problem is she's like the perfect person, perfect man for the job.

Because she is a theater person.

We actually know each other from the theater because we came close, like we became close in our rural high school's production of the soul musical, The Wiz.

And, which is, because it was from the before times.

And,

And so we'd always kind of dreamed of aging into being those costume jewelry ladies who have season tickets to the ballet.

So I texted her, and I said, remember how we were going to become theater ladies?

What if we just do that now?

And she just said, I thought you'd never ask.

So we went to the opera.

We went to all the Dayton Playhouse shows and the Broadway series when it came to town, the Poetry Slam.

We went and saw that band that dresses like vampires.

You guys, they just got a hearse.

It was great.

Her younger coworkers wanted to go see Post Malone, and I was so into it that I not only got a ticket to Post Malone, I bought us wide-leg jeans so we wouldn't stand out among the youths.