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Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

1015.307

I didn't really get a lot of rest the night before, but I just thought you were so cute and funny, and I just wanted to power through because I really like you, and I'm sorry, and... Okay. Okay. It wasn't my best.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

1084.76

At that point, I was the dead person, but the next time, I will be fully alive.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

1148.796

I will not do that again. All right. The promise is there, April.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

303.032

So the day before, I had gotten back from this bachelor party in Vegas, and it was crazy. Oh, no.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

319.315

Because I really thought this girl was cute, and I thought it was my only shot.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

324.476

I really just wanted to meet her where she was at.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

331.422

That was the plan, but obviously I didn't follow through.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

362.11

It took forever to get a ride home from the airport. When I finally get home, I ended up staying up, editing my fantasy baseball lineup, which was not a good choice.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

386.871

maybe he was sick on top of all of this look i came in last place last year that can't happen again okay the girls you can understand this is so dumb and then i finally get to sleep and my dog woke me up in the middle of the night for no reason okay tell us what did you do with april what was your date idea I ended up taking her to a bowling alley.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

409.912

I did it on purpose because it was noisy, and, you know, I wanted to get some of my energy up, and I took some of the focus off of me.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

438.289

It was good if I remembered anything that she said or like anything besides the inside of my eye.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

447.913

I'm exaggerating a little bit. I remember some of it, but I just remember being really tired and not being as bad.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

457.538

I remember we ended up having some greasy food, had some laughs. And then after that, we left and I was walking out of the bowling alley. And as she was leaving, I guess she thought I was funny or something. So she was like, do you want to get another drink somewhere else?

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

475.316

And my mouth said yes, but my body was like, hell no.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

492.827

Or did you go home? No, we went out for another drink. We went to this cute little bourbon bar that she's been dying to go to, and we had a couple more drinks.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

507.635

Yeah, that would have been smart. I just wanted to do anything that she suggested because she was so cute. Yeah.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

518.201

No, I didn't tell her that because I didn't want her to get the wrong idea about what we were doing there. Oh, yeah.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

527.445

It was chill. We just played pop golf and drank, but... Sure you did. Honestly, that's not what people think of when they say bachelor party, right?

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

544.413

he's really tired so he thinks i'm fine anyway let's fast forward to the end when you and april left from each other how did that go so we were leaving the little bourbon bar and i walked her to her car and we had a nice hug and that felt good and then i went home and i slept for 15 hours oh my gosh oh wow god that type of sleep feels so good yeah it Yeah, it felt so good.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

569.724

But then when I woke up and I texted her, she didn't answer. And then she hasn't answered me since.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

576.846

That's why I contacted you guys, so you can call her and find out what's up.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

662.391

Here's the deal, guys. April's super cute. I don't know if I did something wrong or if she got back together with, like, an ex or something.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

697.367

And maybe I made a bad decision coming to this. I don't need to hear this from my mom.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

716.392

All right. You know, bottom line, I don't think she knew I was tired. I think it's something else, something else I did wrong.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

723.513

There we go.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

949.911

Oh, God. I don't know if he... This is a little awkward, but are you sure we kissed?

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update: Eyes Closed Mouth Open

999.316

Oh, oh, here's what you don't know, okay? Oh, God. I went to a bachelor party the night before in Vegas, and then when I got back, finally, I was up until, like, four in the morning editing my fantasy baseball ad.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1217.462

Hey, Dr. John. Glad to be on. A little nervous, but... Oh, you're good, brother.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1224.427

Yeah, yeah. Um... So, yes, glad to be on, nervous to be on. This is a little different for me. There you go.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1245.243

No, nobody does listen. Exactly. So, yeah. So, how do we jump into this?

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1254.21

Cannonball. Yeah. So... So a whole whopping seven months ago, I married this amazing, beautiful woman. We started dating approximately three years ago and moved really fast. I mean, she was the unicorn that every guy dreams of running into. She started off kind of as a client of mine through a hobby job that I was doing, and then

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1285.951

We had both recently ended previous relationships and kind of found confidence in each other and quickly snowballed into a relationship. Same hobbies, same interests, same everything. We got married in May. I had brought a lot of baggage into the relationship financially.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1309.765

and entered this marriage not really standing on my two feet, just trying to play catch up with life and bad decisions in the past. And everything was great up until planning the marriage. Our relationship had kind of gotten a little rocky there for a little bit, and I kind of alluded it to just the stress of planning a wedding and planning a marriage.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1339.916

And, you know, post-wedding, you know, we had that little honeymoon phase, and things just never really ironed themselves out. And so we started going to couples counseling at the beginning of June, and... First session was great. I made an advent. I'm all in. Just personal values, upbringing, all in to work on your marriage and lean into it. I was all in. Our therapist gave us homework.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1382.039

We came back the following week and she dropped a bombshell that She had gone back through a money tracking app that we had started doing together to kind of manage finances, kind of build a budget out. And she had found where I had basically paid for porn. It was something that I didn't deny it when she brought it up. I admitted to it. It was something that I had struggled previously with.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1419.805

Um, years and years and years ago, um, wouldn't necessarily say addicted to it, but, but struggled with it. Um, I'd stopped, um, and then kind of relapsed back into it, um, in the last year, year and a half. Um, and about August, um, I kind of had that realization of, you know, I'm a married guy. I've got a wife. What am I doing? And stopped cold turkey.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1450.81

But she went through that money app and did some digging and investigating on her own and found it. I tried to cover it up. It was an app where you could change the name of the charges and things like that. I had seen it on their website. I tried to cover it up out of shame and guilt. Never admitted it to her out of shame and guilt.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1476.145

I had told her that I had previously had a problem with porn and admitted that to her later in our relationship out of a fear of being vulnerable to her and being judged for it. And I guess when she did her whole investigating thing, and found it, it blew up to, I can't be trusted. Um, she called me a cheater a couple of times, um, which hurt, which hurt the most.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1512.477

Cause I would never, while I understand that porn, you know, some people can look at it as cheating. I would never act on that. Um, I, I would never physically step out of my marriage. Um, yeah, but she doesn't know that. Yeah, she doesn't know that. But the trust thing is the hardest part, that she feels like she can't trust me.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1535.04

And she basically said that she needed some time to think, and our therapist suggested the one week no contact. That was the hardest, longest week of my life, I thought, at the time. And we reconvened, and she walked into the... therapy session late. I noticed she didn't have her wedding band on.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1557.926

Um, when I saw her walk in the door, my heart immediately sank because that was the first thing that I noticed that she wasn't wearing her wedding band. And she sat down and said she wanted a divorce. And my life has been basically crumbled since then. Um, so we're a month post that last therapy session. Um, Our therapist suggested we each individually see therapist. Um, again, I dove all in.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1588.867

I've been meeting with my therapist weekly, um, here more recently biweekly. Um, and I'm all, I'm all in, you know, trying to do better for myself. Um, fix my problems, my vulnerability, my honesty problems, um, vagueness problems. Um, and trying to figure out how I can, you know, earn my wife. I still have her to my wife, although she's, she's filed for divorce. Um, so she has filed paperwork.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1623.083

Yeah. She, she's filed paperwork. She's gotten her lawyer. Um, I got my lawyer just to cover, you know, protect myself. Um, and we're kind of letting the lawyers, you know, do their thing, but I'm still. Okay.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1641.553

Yeah. And you haven't yet, have you? No, I'm still trying to, I'm still trying to hold on. I'm still trying to fight because I do, I do love her with everything that I've got and, and willing to do anything to show her that I'm, I'm all in.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1674.376

I don't know. I understand. I've got to go through the self-healing process first. I'm still going.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1693.359

Really just move. I'm in a hole and I'm just trying to figure out, you know, how that light at the end of this, at the end of the hole.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1793.498

Not really. And I dove into that as... I've always had issues with just being vulnerable. Yeah. Just previous life. I lost my dad when I was... in fifth grade. And, you know, I kind of was forced to grow up and had to put on this persona of being 10 foot tall and bulletproof for family and stuff like that. And I've always had a problem of letting myself be vulnerable to other people.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1821.66

Um, and I didn't realize how much that affected me until I dove in with my, my personal therapist. Um, so what, so it was a scare. I was, I was scared of being, um, And I don't blame her for the way that she acted.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1877.222

Yeah, and that's what I'm thinking, that this was kind of a death of a thousand cuts.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1891.545

Yeah, no, and it was actually kind of the opposite direction. So what did she find? That's what she told me, you know, and there was really nothing else. I mean, I had tried to start... I tried to start a business right there when we got married, which took a lot of my time, which probably wasn't the smartest move on my part.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1931.084

No, it wasn't interactive. It was only fans, but it was, I was strictly paying, paying for videos. There was no interaction there or anything like that. I was just paying, paying for videos and subscriptions. And, you know, she, she, she basically said that, you know, I lied a lot about it. Um, I relapsed. I'm, I'm cheating on her. Um,

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

1965.114

Yeah. I was never clinically diagnosed as addicted. I guess I am.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2251.739

Just a quick correction. It's Nevada, not Nevada. The true Nevadans will catch you on that one. You. I'm just saying.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2274.248

Sounds like you're falling and just hit the ground like, Nevada, Nevada. And we don't count Vegas.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2317.16

What's up, man? Hey, my world kind of blew up and the ride or die said she didn't want to be married anymore. I gave her... Yeah, it was rough. I did the turn the lights off or turn the lights on, slow down the music conversation at breakfast. Yep. And I thought it was pretty good. And she said, nope. And I said, okay.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2336.407

So then I followed up a couple weeks later, said, all right, well, then I wrote an email and said, well, I think these are the options. Blow it up the house. You sell it. We don't have a place to live. You try and buy me out. I try and buy you out. You know, get the lawyers involved with a lot of money, trying to be respectful and amicable. We got two sons. And she's like, well, what about nesting?

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2362.509

So what it turned into, I was like, all right, I can go explore that option. I got a family member down the road a little bit, and I said, I'll go see if their extra room is available. And they said, well, before I could even have that conversation, it was breakfast, made some phone calls, this and that. Um, then she's like, wait, no, let's not do that.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2384.781

We left breakfast saying, let's try nesting. That was kind of the, you know, and then on my way over to like have that, well, no, what about just co-parenting under the same house, knowing what we know and not telling anybody yet. I'm like, wait, what? Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2401.798

That's kind of what I was thinking. So on the follow-up to that, a week later, she's like, can you come to my terrorist appointment? I was like, sure, yeah. You got something to say? Well, I just need to save space to talk about this. All right, what you got? Well, what about separation and you just leave for a little while while I get my stuff lined out?

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2420.978

In my head, you're the one wanting a divorce. I said... That's right. I want to ride or die. I want to go. I can fix this. I don't think there's grounds. There isn't any infidelity. I'm not some drunk. I'm not a bad guy, I don't think. And I think when I hear you, I've been binging your show for about six months, and I can see the failure factory. I can see the not handling your own trauma.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2446.982

I've gone through my own journey. We had drama with my youngest, this and that. And I don't think she processed it. And it's turning into, I don't want to be married. And if I do something else, and I don't know what to do. Because the next conversation with the therapist last night was, well, what if you leave the house and I stay here? And I'm like, wait, what?

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2562.532

So then, okay, I told that. She's like, I don't want to choose that heart. Okay, fair. So then the next conversation stepped up to like, all right, well, then what do you tell the boys? What I want to tell the boys is like, I wanted to be married. Mom didn't. Yes. And I don't bet. How old are they? We're in the third, about to be 13, a couple months and about to be 10.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2582.163

Yes, that is a fair statement. Right. And the therapist, which I think is a loon, she's like, well, yeah, let's not, you know, something where, you know, it's,

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2679.898

Yeah, he's our special one. And he understands. He's smart. He has the medical stuff. And again, there's my... After listening to you, I can be like, hey, you didn't resolve this grief. You didn't.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2835.143

So, to me, I want to turn it into a, like, I make all the money, not all the money, she has two part-time jobs, and she's like, well, a few years ago, she started putting her, she just got into part-time jobs. She had a teaching career for a little bit and started putting, stashing all that money into an account. I couldn't, okay, fine, whatever, that's her savings.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2852.871

I make enough money to make the house go, right? So, her, well, if you move out, I'll start putting my part-time paychecks in there so we can run the house. I'm like, it costs $4,000 a month to run the house. Like, you're $80, $100, whatever it is, and you want me to move out?

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

2868.439

That doesn't sound like I deserve that one, but I don't know how to not, you know, like, turn this into a bickering, fighting, blow-up grenade and still hold integrity and do the right thing.

The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband’s Affair Is Over. . . But He Still Talks to Her

3081.303

I sent her one just to see if she would do it. Like, hey, check this out. And I told her, I called her. I alluded to your advice. I said, hey, I'm talking to this guru. She's like, oh, you're a guru. I'm like, I got a guru. Hey, thank you for your time. I really appreciate what you do.