Lawrence

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not, not really.

And I dove, I dove into that as I've always had issues with being vulnerable to this previous, previous life.

I lost my dad when I was,

in fifth grade.

And, you know, I kind of was forced to grow up and had to put on this persona of being 10 foot tall and bulletproof for family and stuff like that.

And I've always had a problem of letting myself be vulnerable to other people.

Um, and I didn't realize how much that affected me until I dove in with my, my personal therapist.

Um, so what, so it was a scare.

I was, I was scared of being, um,

And I don't blame her for the way that she acted.

Yeah, and that's what I'm thinking, that this was kind of a death of a thousand cuts.

Yeah, no, and it was actually kind of the opposite direction.

So what did she find?

That's what she told me, you know, and there was really nothing else.

I mean, I had tried to start...

I tried to start a business right there when we got married, which took a lot of my time, which probably wasn't the smartest move on my part.

no, it wasn't interactive.

It was only fans, but it was, I was strictly paying, paying for videos.