Laya Mosto

By the time the second, like, big trauma happened, first time I was terrified.

By the second time, I was like, I think I'm gonna die, and I think I'll be okay.

It was like my goodbye to my mom, and I was like, like, don't pick me up.

I'll be, like, you know, it's okay.

Like, but I was so, like...

terrified and numbed out, but I was like, I guess this is it.

How did that change you?

I don't think I was ever the same person after that day.

I think something in me was definitely broken as a child.

I think I was no longer a child after that.

month, I would say.

I was so dissociated after that.

I felt so responsible for like protecting myself and I felt so alert all the time.

I like found like spots in my room of where I should hide or where I should, you know, it changed everything.

And how old were you?

I was 13.

So you were still 13 when this happened?

I was 13 when this happened.

yeah like my childhood i think was fully like robbed from me felt like everything was taken away from me but in that moment you really don't understand what's going on you're just terrified you're in survival mode yeah and you're like what's next like what do i do next where do like how do i sleep in a position in bed where like if something happens like if something falls on me and like i was a kid obviously something falls on you you're done but i was like if something falls if something happens like which part of the closet would be the best angle to like hide

And a lot of my family don't even know this to this day that these were the thoughts that I was having.