Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Hey y'all, welcome back to Made It Out. Today I am here with Leah Mostow. She works in advocacy and policy. I met you at the bar the other night. Yes. And you started telling me about your story. And I was like, wait, wait, wait. Actually, don't tell me now. Come sit with me on the podcast and let's talk. So I know very little. Let's do it. Yes, welcome. Thank you for being here.
Thank you for having me.
Can I say this?
That you canceled your call with the Greek. Canceled the call with an ambassador. Canceled the call with a very important ambassador today to be here. So I feel very grateful.
I'm very grateful to be here.
Okay, I want to go. You have a very interesting story. I want to start from like the very beginning. So tell me about growing up. Tell me about your family.
So I grew up in Syria. I was born and raised in Damascus. So I lived there until I was 13. The war started when I was 12, actually. So 2011 sort of started out as like a revolution and then broke out into like a civil war that lasted about 14 years.
Let's talk about life before that. What do you remember about your childhood before the war started?
I think a lot of bits and parts of my childhood are blocked out still, but I think I remember things being quite normal almost from a child's perspective. I think we always heard about the suppression. You can't really talk about politics or express your opinions or anything. I remember my music teacher when I was in maybe third or fourth grade saying, the walls have ears.
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Chapter 2: What was Laya Mosto's childhood like in Syria before the war?
Full tyranny, authoritarianism, you talk about something and you disappear. Or you talk about something and the next day you're taken to prison, you're tortured. I mean, there are people like that right now after Assad fell that have gone out of prison, that have been there for 14 years, some more, some since his father's time. So absolute atrocities.
I think my parents and my family tried to protect us. The less you know as a kid, the better, because obviously you're not going around school and saying things But then when the war started and the revolutions, the protests first started, like my sister and I like had a lot of questions, obviously. And we're like, OK, but like, what does this mean? Is the president like a good guy or a bad guy?
Like, what do we do? What do we say? And then slowly, like everything changed.
That's very confusing for a kid.
Yeah. How did your parents explain it to you? I remember like in the beginning, maybe for the first like couple of weeks, like my mom let us be. So she was like, oh, like you could take whatever you think if you want to say it's good, whatever.
But then very, like very soon after that, as soon as we knew like things were serious and it was like a part of the Arab Spring and everything, my mom kind of like sat us down and like explained. He is a bad guy. He explained like the crimes that have been happening, the suppression. My mom is from the northwest of Syria. She's from Latakia.
So she grew up in the city where like Assad's family and like his people are sort of from the villages of that city. So she kind of was experienced a lot of the aggression and oppression sort of like growing up. So they'd come into the city that sort of like take whoever they'd want, abuse whoever they'd want. If there was a girl that somebody in the family liked, they'll take her.
Or like if there's a restaurant they want to go in, they'll shut it down. And I saw these things like growing up, like, oh, they'll shut down a restaurant and you'll just walk out and you're just like, you can't really say anything. And you're like, okay. Internet was super censored. Like we didn't have like access, like YouTube, Facebook, all that.
So sometimes just go to like internet cafes and watch like Disney videos or Selena Gomez, who was
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Chapter 3: How did the war in Syria impact Laya's life and family?
That's my education or that's my job and stuff like that. So I try to hold on to these pieces and just also have some grace for the kind of like conditioning that they had. I really believe in visibility. And I'm like, maybe if them or their friends, they see somebody who's successful, they see somebody who's not just me, like other people.
who like are working hard and are just like normal people who are going about their day, but they don't have the same sexuality as you and that doesn't make them bad or weird or fucked up. Like that's just who they are. I mean, in my opinion, better. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Like, yeah, like at least I don't have to deal with all your heteronormative stuff.
Like, well, you get to like shape your own life and I love it. I love that I'm queer. And I always say that I was like, you know, you think it's like it's her choice or whatever. You think that I'm like choosing to be this way. But I'm like, I think if I could choose, I would still choose this. Oh, a hundred percent.
I would choose this. Fuck yeah. And I love that you're here. And that is like, I'm so amazed at your story because holding two truths at once is something that feels like you've had to do since you were very, very fucking young. I think that's the toughest thing for anybody to fucking master. Yeah.
I think that is the hardest part of mental health, of being able to say, okay, this is uncomfortable, but here we go. Here's two things. Yeah. How in your life now do you try to access or give yourself some of that childhood back? Oof.
That's so hard for me to do still. I'm starting to allow myself to do little things, even try to fail at things, even try to paint. I never got to learn how to ride a bike as a kid. Shut the fuck up. Yep. And I really want to. Yeah. I really want to learn how to ride a bike. Let's go ride a bike. Yeah, let's go ride a bike. Let's go get city bikes and ride bikes. That's a dash with you.
But yes, I'm like, where do I learn in New York? Like people are going to run you over even if you're walking.
I love that you're doing that. It's hard even when you don't have all of that conditioning, I think. Like, you know, like how we're taught to just grow up and get a job and make money and become part of the machine. Absolutely. That's like standard. But with everything that you have been through, it's like the mental fortitude that you've had to have. Yes. Is really fucking impressive. Thank you.
And I commend you. Yeah, for real. I'm curious just like what your process has been. Have you done a lot of therapy?
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