Leslie John

Hmm, say more.

Like evolutionarily, that would be the case.

You admire them for it.

Your intuition and your lived experience is super consistent with the data.

You know, I love that I, in my job, I get to put people in these kind of absurd decision-making scenarios.

Like I trap them and then they, the choice they make, hopefully if I've designed it well,

illuminate something about human nature and so our version of what you just said to show that was this study where what we did was we asked so imagine you're deciding between two prospective dates so there's two people you're thinking of dating you talk to one of them you ask them i'm laughing because it's a ridiculous question have you ever had any stds uh-huh

And they said, oh my God, like I have had all of the STDs and even the undiscovered ones.

The other person, you asked the same question and they're like, I'm not telling you.

This contrast we're interested in, might it sometimes be better to just say the worst possible thing relative to silently saying, I'm not doing that.

And in fact, it is better to say I've had all the STDs than to just not answer the question.

Yeah, the principled withholder, you would think.

And so we did like ridiculous number of studies, you know, a social scientist, tinker, tinker, tinker.

And we tested like, okay, what if it's like a principled withholder that's like, that's an obnoxious question.

Still, we hate them.

And so I've come to believe that it's something really deep and primal in us that is so rewarding about, we're so oriented towards self-disclosure.

Why?

Because it's social risk.

And the social risk, when I do this, I'm showing that I trust you.

And then when I do that, then you trust me.