Lewis Black

Which reminds me, this segment is brought to you by Preparation H. Preparation H. I'm old, I'm angry, and I'd like some free Preparation H. But if you'd like to be sad without getting a shard of glass in your retina, you could always venture outdoors and get in touch with your inner coyote.

Which reminds me, this segment is brought to you by Preparation H. Preparation H. I'm old, I'm angry, and I'd like some free Preparation H. But if you'd like to be sad without getting a shard of glass in your retina, you could always venture outdoors and get in touch with your inner coyote.

Okay, let me get this straight. Plan A for the Democrats was to vote, and Plan B is to scare the out of Sturgeon? I don't know about you, but I'm feeling optimistic about 2028. Trust me, screaming doesn't change anything. I've been doing it for 40 years, and I'm still at the same desk! God! I've wasted my life!

Okay, let me get this straight. Plan A for the Democrats was to vote, and Plan B is to scare the out of Sturgeon? I don't know about you, but I'm feeling optimistic about 2028. Trust me, screaming doesn't change anything. I've been doing it for 40 years, and I'm still at the same desk! God! I've wasted my life!

But if screaming beside a lake doesn't cure your election blues, maybe riding on a boat will.

But if screaming beside a lake doesn't cure your election blues, maybe riding on a boat will.

Ooh, a four-year cruise? Sign me up. What better cure for an election hangover than half a decade of pina coladas and freeze-dried scallops? Trump's gonna slash Medicaid just in time for me to get super herpes from a Swiss widow. Now that every country in the world can see that liberals are terrified, the smart ones are cashing in.

Ooh, a four-year cruise? Sign me up. What better cure for an election hangover than half a decade of pina coladas and freeze-dried scallops? Trump's gonna slash Medicaid just in time for me to get super herpes from a Swiss widow. Now that every country in the world can see that liberals are terrified, the smart ones are cashing in.

Oh, great. An Italian village whose population disappeared. That doesn't sound ominous at all. I'm happy to buy an abandoned home and find out what disemboweled all the cattle. Listen, America may be f***ed, but that doesn't mean I'm moving into Luigi's Haunted Mansion. Plus, America already has a creepy Italian shithole. It's called New Jersey. Wow. Not what I expected.

Oh, great. An Italian village whose population disappeared. That doesn't sound ominous at all. I'm happy to buy an abandoned home and find out what disemboweled all the cattle. Listen, America may be f***ed, but that doesn't mean I'm moving into Luigi's Haunted Mansion. Plus, America already has a creepy Italian shithole. It's called New Jersey. Wow. Not what I expected.

But, hey, if you're willing to spend good money to avoid these next four years, I'm willing to take it to you. Okay? Take it from you. That's why I'm offering a product of my own. I call it the Forever Sleepy Time Brick. Just shackle it to your foot and find the nearest body of water. Screaming optional.

But, hey, if you're willing to spend good money to avoid these next four years, I'm willing to take it to you. Okay? Take it from you. That's why I'm offering a product of my own. I call it the Forever Sleepy Time Brick. Just shackle it to your foot and find the nearest body of water. Screaming optional.

Well, close to that, but 200, yeah.

Well, close to that, but 200, yeah.

I don't know what the number is, but all the other numbers were kind of around the right place.

I don't know what the number is, but all the other numbers were kind of around the right place.

It would be stand-up because it – I wanted to be a playwright. And along the way, I kind of, because I was doing that and it was at a drama school, I learned from the actors there. So I started to perform more and be in plays more. So I mean, but you know, so it was, I was writing plays and then acting in shows. And I thought, and I never wanted to direct. But that was the thing about standup.

It would be stand-up because it – I wanted to be a playwright. And along the way, I kind of, because I was doing that and it was at a drama school, I learned from the actors there. So I started to perform more and be in plays more. So I mean, but you know, so it was, I was writing plays and then acting in shows. And I thought, and I never wanted to direct. But that was the thing about standup.

I was writing, I was performing. It was everything.

I was writing, I was performing. It was everything.