Lewis Black

They give us insight into the complex minds of America's most powerful people.

They give us insight into the complex minds of America's most powerful people.

See? Even that vampire magician agrees. Expertise matters. And he should know he's voted in the last thousand elections. And for his final trick, he made my hope for Gen Z disappear. But the good news is we don't have to listen to these idiots at all because there's still another option.

See? Even that vampire magician agrees. Expertise matters. And he should know he's voted in the last thousand elections. And for his final trick, he made my hope for Gen Z disappear. But the good news is we don't have to listen to these idiots at all because there's still another option.

Finally, someone talking sense. I'm tired of my vote being canceled out by someone whose IQ score only makes sense in Celsius. So for all you undecided voters, I have a special message. Hi. I'm Lewis Black, beloved comedian. Really? And the only Daily Show employee who works less than Jon Stewart. I want to talk to you today about democracy.

Finally, someone talking sense. I'm tired of my vote being canceled out by someone whose IQ score only makes sense in Celsius. So for all you undecided voters, I have a special message. Hi. I'm Lewis Black, beloved comedian. Really? And the only Daily Show employee who works less than Jon Stewart. I want to talk to you today about democracy.

It's a big responsibility, a sacred right, and maybe not for everyone. Because if you're waiting for a Kardashian to tell you who to vote for, go ahead and sit this one out. Sure, people have fought and died for your right to vote.

It's a big responsibility, a sacred right, and maybe not for everyone. Because if you're waiting for a Kardashian to tell you who to vote for, go ahead and sit this one out. Sure, people have fought and died for your right to vote.

But when those guys were lifting the flag over Iwo Jima, they weren't saying, come on, fellas, let's do this so someday a guy can fill out a ballot so the bubbles make the shape of a penis. If you're undecided come election day, do the right thing. Don't get out the boat. Sit out the boat. And just focus on picking out that ice cream. Might I recommend Rocky Road? Yum!

But when those guys were lifting the flag over Iwo Jima, they weren't saying, come on, fellas, let's do this so someday a guy can fill out a ballot so the bubbles make the shape of a penis. If you're undecided come election day, do the right thing. Don't get out the boat. Sit out the boat. And just focus on picking out that ice cream. Might I recommend Rocky Road? Yum!

It's already been a month since the election. I guess time flies when I'm not ripping out what's left of my pubes. Since Trump's victory, half the country is excited and the other half is still at home in the fetal position. Me, I'm coping by shutting off the news for a while and watching something a little cozier, like who killed JonBenet Ramsey. Baby, it's cold outside, and so is this case.

It's already been a month since the election. I guess time flies when I'm not ripping out what's left of my pubes. Since Trump's victory, half the country is excited and the other half is still at home in the fetal position. Me, I'm coping by shutting off the news for a while and watching something a little cozier, like who killed JonBenet Ramsey. Baby, it's cold outside, and so is this case.

But for those Democrats able to leave the House, this is what they're doing.

But for those Democrats able to leave the House, this is what they're doing.

What the f*** is this? Call me old-fashioned, but if you have a breakdown on the subway, you're supposed to jump in front of it. Subway walls are for only two things. Mysterious piss stains and ads for Shen Yun. Sure, it's a cult, but those concubines sure can boogie. And who are these people writing their deepest feelings on a train platform?

What the f*** is this? Call me old-fashioned, but if you have a breakdown on the subway, you're supposed to jump in front of it. Subway walls are for only two things. Mysterious piss stains and ads for Shen Yun. Sure, it's a cult, but those concubines sure can boogie. And who are these people writing their deepest feelings on a train platform?

The only subway thoughts I have are, is that guy shitting? And why am I being stabbed? In that order. But if writing postage is a little too subtle, you can react to the election loss the American way, violence.

The only subway thoughts I have are, is that guy shitting? And why am I being stabbed? In that order. But if writing postage is a little too subtle, you can react to the election loss the American way, violence.

Look out, everyone. The libs are pissed and they're coming for grandma's fine china. Democrats can't even get mad correctly. Conservatives storm the Capitol. Meanwhile, Democrats are like, are these crowbars ethically sourced? When shit gets bad, you don't smash things like a toddler. You let it eat away at you from the inside like a big boy with stress-related hemorrhoids.

Look out, everyone. The libs are pissed and they're coming for grandma's fine china. Democrats can't even get mad correctly. Conservatives storm the Capitol. Meanwhile, Democrats are like, are these crowbars ethically sourced? When shit gets bad, you don't smash things like a toddler. You let it eat away at you from the inside like a big boy with stress-related hemorrhoids.