Lili Padman

And I felt like I was allowing myself to experience and grieve

For something I just never made space for because I thought it might have killed me.

So for me, I felt like there was utility in it.

And then I had delayed the emotional response to some of these things for so long.

And that once I had the emotional response, they got smaller.

I knew somehow on the other side of that door was crying and I was just not going to go there.

And then once I did that part, I did feel like it liberated me to go forward.

Oh, it was dominoes.

If I'm actually good at math, maybe I can be good at other things.

As you said, it's a system that's scanning how available someone is.

So you could misread that as a lack of availability because they're available for other people.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Was there anything I've left out that you would want to cover?

What might that look like?

Because when you say the anxious attachment, I immediately, I think we all can, you can think of like your big friendship group and you can think of the ones that are like really upset monitoring when they've been invited and when they've not.

And I mean, this is a brag, but it's like, I don't notice that, right?

Like I don't notice on Instagram.

This group was at dinner.

It doesn't even cross my mind.