Lisa

She could be sometimes difficult to work with, but largely overall, she was a great boss.

From my perception, they were definitely together. There was a physical closeness.

It could have changed the outcome if she had gotten up and been able to give credible explanations for her behavior.

I remember it got weirder and weirder that we hadn't heard from her. So then you just start to be like, what's going on? Are they okay? Why isn't she answering? But you never think of what happened.

So we just start looking around campus. really anywhere that she could have gone or talking to anyone that she could have reached out to to crash at their place too. But as the answers kept coming up as no or we haven't seen her, then it gets worse.

I was involved with the police giving statements a lot.

I did see her that Wednesday on August 30th. We went out with two different friend groups but ended up at the same place.

Having the whole world have that information before we got to digest it was really difficult, especially when it's about a friend that's so close to you.

There was no question about it. And once one of us made the decision to go, we kind of, all the friend group, decided that we were all gonna go together.

she really wanted to get into film she's very creative i think she would have been very very good at it this is what she wanted to do and this is where her passion was her trajectory was probably going to do great things she just wanted to give people a voice anything she touched was something beautiful and something really thoughtful she was

Jenna created the blueprint for the foundation. She was very, very passionate about the homeless community and helping them. It was just her natural way of living is just being a good person, kind, and spreading as much love as she could.

She had graduated from Montgomery County Community College and was transferring.

Her trajectory was probably going to do great things.

Jenna was really, really excited to start. I remember her posting that she was so excited to start her first semester at Temple. It was a good choice at the time.

Macklemore is not the issue. The whole date was the issue. That was weird. I think anybody would think that that whole situation was weird.

Oh, my gosh. You're not listening to what I'm saying at all. It wasn't that. might need to be more specific oh my parents dinner was pretty bad my mom makes okay okay maybe it's just an off night for the cooking the casserole didn't hit like it was supposed to we can tell her to try again i think that you need to learn what self-awareness is that's a big that's a good

Listen, you can be a nice guy and still be a weirdo and a nutso, but no, I do not want to go out again.

Hello.

Yeah.

Well, what did he tell you?

I mean, I felt like a lot.

Yeah. Normally, normally I would not. Right.

Well, truth be told, I was very hungry.

Oh. Well, okay.

I'm guessing that was his parents' house. Here's the thing. I was eating. His parents were not eating.

No, it was set up like a kid had set it up to perform in front of his parents.

Big, big, important. Very important.

I did not feel that way. I felt like it was super weird.

What do you need? What's going on?

No, it's actually really great. I'm having a fantastic time.

Is that something your mom told you to tell me?

Okay, this 100% smells of your mom. She was always in her business. Did she sign you up for the class?

Art, that's part of the problem. I'm not in a relationship, nor do I want to be in a relationship with your mom.

I mean, that's part of his fault because he's allowing his mom to be in the relationship. There's just so many other issues that I, I mean, I don't have time to get into it on a radio show right now.

Oh, my God. He told you that?

You know, I didn't mind it until he farted at a work event that I had, and then in his Shrek voice said, better out than in, I always said.

I mean, that's the best impression.

I have to say, when you lay it all out there, I'm going to choose the other guys.

Yeah, you guys, I'm sorry. Art, I wish you the best. We had our time, but it's done.

Absolutely not.

I was a little thrown, but I'm kind of excited.

Okay.

Is it Luke? No.

Oh my gosh. Is it Andrew?

Oh, okay, I thought this was like a new dating thing.

Seriously?

Surprise! Okay. I mean, I guess like stalking me at the dog park wasn't the best option a few months back, but let's try this.

Yes, there was. They've asked the police to declare her dead, even though no body has been found. So tough for them. Yeah.

If you do want to testify, it will be question and answer, meaning you need to write out all your questions that you want to be asked. You can't take the witness stand and just give a narrative.

That's going to take him time to extract and analyze and then prepare a report. Months, maybe. I understand that, Your Honor. And I'm hoping he can do it in an expedited manner. You're the one pressing for your speedy trial. So you want to go to trial or you want to have him do that work that you want? Because I don't think both are going to happen.

Early.

My daughter came to tell us that her classmates were bullying her.

Just being a parent, nothing I was ever interested in prior to this really is worthy of my time or concern at this moment. I don't know if that will last forever. And I'm curious about how things like my career, the things I have been doing outside of the house, relationships, other things I'm involved in, now work in to our lives. And I'm very open to the answer being, you sacrifice it.

Can you hear me?

OK, so I just have a question about with the sort of the taking apart of the Board of Education. Is there do you think that giving the power back to the states will not only increase our kids as academics, but help with the significant behavior problems we're seeing in the classrooms? Yes.

Well, I'll tell you what I'm seeing because I do work in an elementary school. I'm an occupational therapist, and so I'm in and out of classrooms, and specifically, mostly with special ed. But, I mean, the behaviors are—you can't even make this stuff up. And I'm in one of the better counties in Georgia.

But, I mean, kids are kicking, hitting teachers, throwing things at teachers, peeing on the floor. I mean, it's unbelievable. Yeah. I mean, I would never let my kids act like this. My kids would never do something like this. But teachers are leaving in droves because they can't do anything about it. They can't. They really don't like to suspend. So and this is elementary school.

Well, we had a kindergartner a couple years ago that threw a stapler across the room and hit the teacher in the head with it. So it goes all the way down to preschool, kindergarten. Kindergarten and first grade really are the toughest because a lot of these kids have, they come from no structure at home. They've been sitting on their iPads since the day they were born.

And, you know, neurologically, they're just messed up.

Keep that up, Charlie. That's great.

Without question. And there's getting to be a lot of research and data to show that kids' brains are just they're developing completely differently because of screens.

Kids can't pick. They don't know how to hold a pencil. I mean, they come into they've never they've never colored. They've never tried to write their letters. It's it's truly it's it's devastating, actually.

That's a great question. I don't know. I never sent my kids to daycare. So my kids now are 18 and 20. So that's a great question. I can't answer that.

Thank you, Rachel. Rachel, my husband and I are 64. We'll be turning 65 at the end of the year. So, of course, we're thinking about retirement, and that kind of panics me a lot. I feel that we did not plan very well, and it came very fast. Um, we do not have a pension. I took my 401k to pay off some debt, but we do own a home, um, with no mortgage of 700,000.

And I do own a business that is grossing 1.3, um, million a month or I'm sorry, a year. A year. A year.

I know that we just find it very hard to save money and money is always going back into business. And of course, we like to live a nice lifestyle too as well. But so my question is, How do you have enough income for retirement if you don't have the pension or the 401k? Would it be wise to sell the house at some point and the business and then invest that and live off the income?

Yes, I'm married 40 years.

No, I took it. You'll love this. We paid off our kids' college with that. So, no.

He takes Social Security. He doesn't take... A salary from the business, so he takes $2,000 a month Social Security.

Well, I would say $200,000.

Right, of course.

Exactly. Well, we do, um, we do help his parents and that's about 2000 a month. They're 92 years old and they have round the clock care. And, um, so we do help with that. Um, we do have two car loans.

Those are two cars, 400 each.

Their lease.

Hey, I'm calling in because my husband, he entered into a debt consolidation program. He has about $30,000 in debt. We are not in the program together. And I was wondering if there's any alternative or way out of this. To give a quick breakdown, again, he has $30,000. I'm not included. I have about $13,000 in debt. I'm on a fixed income secondary to a disability. I'm in end-stage renal failure.

We have five kids, no savings. And I don't know where to go from here. Gosh, I'm so sorry. Send me any way you can help.

Yeah, first of all, I didn't know about his debt. We don't have our credit. We don't have joint accounts. He has his own credit cards. I have all mine. Okay. And he maxed all his out without my knowledge. So he tried to fix the problem and went into this program. And I feel like it's made everything worse because his credit just keeps decreasing and decreasing.

And I feel like we're going to be stuck for the next 10 years now.

Well, he has one chance left on this death that he has accrued as secondary to gambling. We have involved his family. Everybody's involved. And basically, if he goes back one more time, we will be getting divorced. Right now, we're trying to work through it. We have older children. Two of the kids are older. He's my second marriage. But we do still have a seven or a nine and a... 12-year-olds.

And a 17-year-old that's younger.

Okay. Right now I earn about 4,700 a month. That's take home from social security. Um, And that's my total debt is the $13,000. I have no other income. I don't have any retirement.

Well, I pay the mortgage, which is pretty high. It's about $3,200 a month. And he pays all the utilities. And how much does he make?

40 plus, yes. What's he do? He works at a steel factory. The thing is, is that he borrowed out of his retirement without me knowing. So there's $200 a week that comes out for his retirement loan. How much was the total loan? The total loan for the retirement total, he's done it over a few different times. Noah, how much did you take out total? Okay. So $25,000 out of that.

Um, I took it off speakerphone. Oh yeah.

Currently, I'm on disability for Social Security because I'm an end-stage renal failure.

And we just bought the house and I had the money to put down. I had saved up the money, but I put a lot of it towards renovations, which wasn't smart when we first moved in instead of putting it on credit. For instance, like a new deck, I paid $20,000 cash for it. I made some really bad decisions.

A year.

Jonathan.

I do.

Good. A question. My husband and I are both in our late 50s. We have nothing saved for retirement. What can I do? Well, I should say that for myself, I'm clinically and legally blind. and he works offshore, so he's not home a lot. So I'm just trying to figure out what can we do.

Nobody, I'm here alone. Oh, good grief. Oh, yeah, I can maneuver pretty well, thank God.

Are you getting any more disability at all, Lisa? No, no. No, in my life, we've been married almost 37 years. I've only worked maybe four years if you connect all the days together. So I don't have anything like that.

Yes, I'm sure he does. He's been working forever, but yes.

Okay. Well, that's what I'm saying. I don't have any money. Like I said, I haven't worked in years.

Oh, no. I'm talking about that. Go ahead.

Oh, right. Yes. Yes.

Right, right. It is. It is. We share a bank account and everything.

Social Security, I believe he would have that. As far as 401K, this company bought out two years ago, so I think they just started the 401K, but he hasn't gotten into it yet. He's been at this company for two years.

About $101,000. Okay, $100,000. And what kind of debt do you guys have? Well, I have a SBA loan on my home. um car debt do you even know the amounts or what yes i would love to okay okay the house 85 000 okay the car 45 000 um credit card debt we have um maybe three cards all together it's about 25 000 a student loan 16 000 um

Yes, it's an SBA. What happened is we paid off the house back in 2014, but when Harvey hit and my husband's company folded back, they went bankruptcy, we had to live off of whatever money we had in his 401k, and he didn't get another job offshore until a year later.

It was because of Harvey, the flood.

Yeah, we were flooded out, our whole city. Yeah, I was in Houston. I remember that.

Okay. Yeah, we didn't have house insurance at that time because he had lost his job a year before. And so, therefore, we didn't.

Yes, yes.

Well, I do have $9,000 in cash, but I'm saving to get a roof. I'm going to need a roof before August.

But you did a good job, Jez, with Austin and Lily's wedding. Yeah, I thought you did pretty well. It was very personable. I thought you did a great job.

Yeah, it was.

But it's not his beauty.

It's that inner beauty that he has.

Yeah. And he's sweet. Right. And he's very kind.

And we bought sewing machines for them.

Been overwhelming.

Well, I think because if you do not build your marriage to begin with... on Christ, and He is not the cornerstone. He is not right in the center of your marriage, and He wasn't. He might have been for you, but He wasn't for me. And I think unless you have that, then you are going to lose the luster, you know?

And I think even over time, that luster may dull a little bit because of things that happen. Maybe you've got kids that are sick. Maybe the spouse is sick. Maybe financial problems. So all of that is going to play a part into dulling that luster. But I think unless it is totally built on Christ, that it's always going to, you're going to lose it every time.

You're going to lose that glory because you did not do it right the first time. And that is, I mean, that's one of the things that you and I are trying to tell a couple of our friends is, is that you can't build this on your feelings. You've got to build this on Christ. He's got to be the reason why you do this. Don't sit out there in a marriage that's mediocre.

That's not what Christ wants for you. He wants your marriage to glorify Him, and it cannot glorify Him if all you're doing is fussing and fighting and calling the law to each other and, I mean, you know, that kind of stuff. Yeah.

Marriage is an action word. It's not just something you do. You don't just get married and then that's the end of it. It's an action word. It's an everyday wake up and you decide that I'm going to serve my spouse today and whatever they need, I'm going to make sure they get it. And however that I can help them fulfill their commitment to Christ, that's what I'm going to do today.

And so it's an action, just like love. To me, another one, love is an action. So you say you love somebody, okay, that's great. But what are you doing for that other person? Because it's an action. You've got to do something for somebody else. And so many times we just think we just get married and that's it.

I said the ugly brother.

Because it's based on a lie.

I mean, it's the evil one telling you that, well, you married the wrong person. You can do better. If you get out of this one and get into another one, everything's going to – it'll all work out. And it's all based on lies. And if we ever – I just said to one of my friends a while ago, pray about this. And if in the end you think God is telling you, don't do this, then I'll back off.

I'll question it because I'm going to question who is telling you this. Because you may think it's God. I think it's Satan. But...

That's right. Or it could be your inner spirit. But I said, if that's who you think is telling you to do this, then I'll back off. But I mean, I think God wants your marriage to glorify him. And it cannot do it in the manner that it's working out right now. I mean, I think we all have to be committed to Christ first, of course.

But in that commitment to Christ, then we have to be committed to our spouse first. Number one, over everything, over our kids, over our grandkids, over finances, over health, everything. Everything has to be Christ first and then your partner. And it's just, it's hard for me. And I guess, I don't know, maybe the Lord needs to take me back to 25 years ago.

It's hard for me to allow people to just give up.

I can't sit back and just let somebody say, no, I mean, you know, it's over. We're just going to throw in the towel. I can't do it, you know?

Because again, love is a decision.

I say the green grass is greener over there because they got more crap over there.

But just think about those struggles, Jace, without Christ as the center of your marriage. And without you being his bridegroom.

Well, he picks on people he loves.

You know, it's funny. Last night, Phil tried to shake my hand before we left, and I wouldn't shake his. I said, I'm not shaking your hand.

And so I hugged him, and I said, I love you. And, of course, he didn't say anything. So then we go into the living room, and so we're saying bye, and I'm covering up Kay just to get her situated again. And I hugged her and told her I loved her. She told me she loved me. And then Phil's, you know, trying to get situated on the couch. So he gets on the couch. And I said, well, I love you, Phil.

And he said, yeah, you too. So he didn't say I love you, but, you know.

You guys have just got to start saying it more so that he can say it to y'all.

No gold.

Yeah, I think so. Do you remember Abby's mom's name?

That's right.

No, we already had eight. Tracer was number eight. Yeah. That is true.

You'll have to.

No.

I am unashamed. What about you?

And still enjoy it.

I'm glad you're saying that. It's making me feel better about Missy choosing to marry me. She wanted the adventure, but without the bugs. Exactly. And I'm like, hey, this is part of it. Not for me.

It's called adventure.

She's fixing to give you the most yuppie answer ever.

She left out the part where people line the streets and they clap and they shed a tear.

which is uh eating hunting on their own they were just eating their captain exactly well to get back to the book i thought nice segue no this is this is relatable to what we're talking about because i i was like i think we met once uh cubby but it was like in passing at something and uh was it at the premiere maybe i think i think so yeah yeah yeah

But we got to know Rebecca really well when they came. We hung out, and we just kind of bonded. I bonded with your brothers. Yes, you did. We have the most weird texts that go back and forth that I think are really fun and funny, so I'm really glad we're friends. Oh, it just makes me laugh every time. But when I read the part, I was like, this guy's from California.

But then you were nicknamed Cubby because – But based on your hair, I believe it was your dad said you look like a bear cub. And I thought when I read that in the book, I thought me and this guy are going to get along. They literally thought he was a bear cub.

me and him had the funniest exchange because i was check checking on her me too like every hour yeah and he was acting surprised every time which was very annoying to me i'm like you rushed her to the hospital me and al literally made up that podcast off the top of our head out of romans a out of romans because al had a prayer and i don't know the spirit moved and we just we

Ours are more kind of a negative. I mean, some of the nicknames that he calls. Body style. It's basically body style. He's like, oh, one eye there. The guy's got a patch on his eye, and he's like, start calling him water.

So you remember when he came up with thick legs, which probably wouldn't be a problem, but it was a woman. It was a girl. I was like, Phil, you can't do that. Actually.

Only with him, it bothered everyone but him because my dad feels like, well, what are you getting your feelings hurt? You have thick legs.

I do, my lovely wife. And I have something better than a Brave book. I have a complete set in my hands. Ooh. Ten books in my hands. You can buy a set. I mean, we're talking Mouse of the Sea, Ice Heist, Deep Within Doom's Dome. Dear Val or Al also. Jeff and Jessica.

So it's just like, hey, we're all being honest here. But it's been an awkward thing.

You're just Al's woman.

That is the nickname, and it is derogatory. Missy actually teared up because his life has gotten difficult for them. For some reason, he just became so enamored with Missy. And she became his favorite there for a while. And she's like, well, you tell that. You do it better than me. I don't know what you're talking about. He used to call me Jace's woman.

You had a little stair step of years of how it escalated to him finally calling you Missy.

We wound up having a great discussion about it. Yeah, we had a discussion, and we were a man down, which was, you know, you don't appreciate that, but you realize then we're missing a guy, which means we have to talk more, and it's difficult. Not for you, James.

Tell the syrupy part when he said it.

Oh, I can't believe this. You came home and you got all teary-eyed and I thought, okay, I need to pay careful attention to whatever she's fixed to say because I could tell she was getting teary-eyed. And she's like, your dad. said my name and followed it with, I love you.

So there was the two things that had never happened. He called me by name, which, I mean, you see the spiritual application here. He called me by name and he told me I love him.

Yeah, I think that was started off the draw.

So the roughest of humans chiseled by the grace of God one day may say. You never know. It was a beautiful story, which is what made me want to relate that to your book. I thought you did the book cleverly, but unusual because it's like a love story, y'all's love story, and you were very vulnerable and shared all your – you know, high points, low points along the way.

And it's like, it's not like most people, they have a marriage book, you know, it's like do these 10 things. It's not like that. It's just real and raw and all relationships are different, but you see that kind of God's story within our story.

And to make that even more spectacular, we dropped off a hitchhiker to pick up these two guests. So, no Zach, add Zach. Lisa and Missy.

Hey, deep down, I am a shy girl.

Yeah. I only do this because the Lord put his hand on me and said, speak. If you believe, speak.

This is not easy for me, babe. So, look. He then says... good news, she has kidney stones. And I'm like, how can that be? Don't show that to her. So look, this is serious. We then get into a debate over what good news means. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure that you need to go reread your Bible. Good news is good. Good in Jesus.

Oh, it's, there was so much in y'all's book that, uh, was relatable just of our own marriage and experience. And that was one of them. I remember getting asked by somebody in the media, cause I have a bad habit of saying whatever comes to mind.

we love it we love it they said how's it the question was how does it feel to be famous you know what's it like and I said pretty lonely and it was just like they were looking at me like I had just dropped a bull rattlesnake in the middle of the interview but Cause even though you're, you know, you may be in front of thousands of people, that little wall there.

I mean, I'm moving on to the next gig. It's not like I was with a few thousand people, but nothing really Matt, you know, happened there. So that's why your core circle and, uh, It's really so valuable. Our first year of marriage, we had the burnout experience in the first year. Wow, you guys.

For a different reason. And it was a godly reason, but still it really meant a lot to me with that one line in there about we're going to do this together. Because that's what, at the end of our first year of marriage, We were basically, I started sharing Jesus with my friends. Well, they started coming to the Lord and I was immature.

So I thought, not only are we going to save them, I'm going to drag them if they don't, you know, start going quickly enough. And so basically it just led to hundreds of people coming to the Lord, but I was never there. And Missy was like, well, this is great.

Do you know what one of my hobbies is? What's that? I try to race trees. Do you want to see which one grows faster? Well, the beard is a racing tree because on some trees, moss comes out onto the tree that looks exactly like my beard.

I was like, kidney stones, not good news, but you should have phrased the question. Not as bad as it could have been.

I did think about that. I wasn't oblivious to that, babe, but in the moment, I was like, of all things, you can't use good news this way. Oh, goodness gracious. This is the theme of the Bible. I've come to bring you good news. I'm like, you can't make that illustration here. And look, Zach likes to argue, and we had a little argument on it.

I'm so glad y'all shared that because one of the worst experiences of my life was the one time I agreed to go on a cruise. It was not fun. It was the bottom of the barrel of life. And I said, Lord, if you will get me off this boat. It's just so crazy. If you want to hit rock bottom, go on a cruise. And I don't mind saying that. Our situation.

No. He was sick. You did have an interior problem. I did get sick. But the problem was somebody had the idea. There was the height of Duck Dynasty. It was like the first season.

And they said, oh, let's do this. Let's have a cruise with the Duck Dynasty people.

We just said the cry part out loud. So here's all you need to know about that. I know we can laugh now. We were paid very well. We can laugh about it now. We were. And look, I'll go on record saying this. When they said, let's do this again, and they offered me.

And an obscene amount of money. And I was like, this is not a negotiation tactic. Yeah. I don't care if it's seven figures. I ain't getting on another boat. But I'll say what happened was people were excited. The show had come out. Well, the thing sold out in four or five minutes. But just think about this. No way. What kind of person would buy a ticket to that in four or five minutes?

3,000 people. And we can't get off.

Well, my son called me, and kind of the theme of this podcast will be love is in the air. Because we have some guests. We have some amazing guests coming.

it's the first time there's been intentional baptism on a car in the pool because usually they just fall in drunk but yeah we were actually baptizing them on purpose no well i think i told my dad i said i think this is the first time we actually baptized a drunk person yeah but i couldn't talk him out of it but what i was gonna say you guys you're amazing

We do. And it kind of has a marriage theme. And even if you're not married, at some point we hope you get married to Jesus. Or you know some married people. Yeah, you know some married people. So all apply.

It felt so combative. I felt like it was spiritual warfare. And you know, when I get, when I get put in a corner and I just wanted to, cause I'm real claustrophobic anyway.

I thought we got to come out firing. And Phil was like, I'm with you. Phil felt the same way. He's like, we're trapped.

Yeah. And that aspect, but it was so weird that you said that. Cause I just now, uh, if you ever see me on a boat, call nine one, one that I can't get off of. If I'm fishing when my buddy's okay. But if I'm trapped for a week, no, I'm out. Yeah. That's so funny. I thought that was funny. Well, I wanted to say this because I know we don't have much time left. Yeah, we're running low.

I think what I thought was the most clever part of this, and I'd like to hear how this happened, because you took the very thing that most people who are not believers, which is why is there suffering in the world, and it became a platform. I think your five points, if I can remember off the top of my head, was in that suffering, we're seen, we're heard, We're held, we're known, and we're loved.

We do.

I wrote it down. Off the top of my head.

Well, I read it in my free time, which was between 11 and 1.30 a.m. I'm a fast reader. But I really thought that was so awesome because there's a reason half of marriages end in divorce. Because you think, oh, this is rainbows and everything's going to be great. And in reality, there is suffering, but God does his best work in that. I mean, think of the cross here.

We're all made by God and a part of his family. And I've mentioned on several podcasts, the Bible's about God getting his family back now. So it applies. Anyway, I told her, I was like, got some news because my son called me and he was like, uh, dad. So I knew just by that, uh, dad, I thought whatever, the tone was different. And I was thinking, uh, Please be good.

We don't have a God who's oblivious to it. He entered the world of suffering. And so I really think that was clever, and I think that's why this book needs to be read. So I was just wondering how that little mantra of the book I mean, were y'all driving down the road saying... Yeah, because you really built it well, is what he's saying.

That seems like the thesis to me, and I'm not very smart, but it just really was profound to me. I thought, now this is a good idea. Yeah, I thought the same thing. Because it really is the mysterious part of God's love For us. And I was so excited about it because I just preached Sunday. And look, the name of my sermon, I didn't even know y'all were coming on two days later.

The name of my sermon was, When a Plan Comes Together, but then it was like dot, dot, dot. the Bible is about God getting his family back in Jesus.

And so I mirrored, you know, how much is about family as it relates to God's family, you know, him getting his family back and kind of Ephesians five, you know, where it talks about husbands and wives, but at the end, he's like, this is a mystery, but I'm talking about you and Christ, the church being married to Christ.

And it made me think that our offspring in that marriage is, are people that are born again. We're married to Jesus, and what is the result of the church and Jesus being married? More people that are born again in Jesus. It's a beautiful picture, and I think y'all captured that well. So what was the thought process? Because I started preaching a sermon.

I was going to say, we were about to get that sermon for one more time. We came close.

But I was willing to deal with whatever it is, the fact he's calling me. And he said, I want to ask you something. And I was like, fire away. And so I could tell he was nervous. So it was making me nervous. And he said, you know, me and my girlfriend are going to get married. Well, obviously I know that. And I was like, yeah. And he said, we've decided that –

Before you tell them how to get the book, I do have one idea that's silly. I just had a question when I read the book. Rebecca, have you ever introduced your husband by saying, here's my hubby, Cubby?

I said that exact line this morning to my wife. Did I not? I said, marriage is two people, God building something where you're living heaven on earth.

We would like for you to do the ceremony. I kind of thought that's the way it might be. So my heart kind of sank because my default mode.

Let me finish the sentence. My heart fell because the shy self kid thought, oh, no, don't screw this up. No, I thought. Now I have a responsibility that is an honor, and I love these two people. In fact, what I said was in the moment, I said, I really believe that you and her belong together, and God will build something. And I used a profound phrase. Stay tuned.

I used a profound phrase saying, God's going to build this. I want to be a part of it because I was thinking this kind of makes you in from the start because we're going to have to sit down and discuss this, which I did say because in a weird comment, my response was, oh, is she there with you? And he was like, no.

And I said, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm going to need to hear that from her.

Yeah, and he was kind of quizzing me like, well, why? And I was like, well, because if this goes bad, I want her to sanction it verbally in front of me because I'm going to say you could do better in having somebody do your wedding.

No, I'm giving you the truth for the listeners.

About our relationship with Zach. And it's nothing profound, but just every once in a while, we need a break.

It was. We've done various projects through the years. So I'm really thankful for that. the involvement, and what they do to make the world shine like Jesus.

I figured since you did the podcast before, you might have warned your husband.

Well, look, here's the problem. I've offered to take many breaks. Me too.

And you are married, even though the names are weird.

Legally married.

Oh, there's no doubt. We became friends over that whole encounter.

That's called the unashamed way. I feel like I need to say this. At some point in our relationship, I want to borrow that hat because it looks like the ultimate. I see myself sitting on a creek bank catching fish. Croppy. Barefoot. In that hat. I love it.

Well, that's what I love. Al, what he tried to say is because I thought, okay, we got a guy from California. He's living in Nashville. He married a woman from Australia. I said, I'm pretty sure that this book on marriage is going to be about having a communication problem.

Bill used to say that about everyone. I mean, he's even said that about us. It's like if you think you're, you know, if he feels like you are getting a little bit too high on your horse. He would say, you're a legend in your own mind. He would kind of pause. He'd say, you're a legend in your own mind.

Yeah.

It is ripped off the pages.

Yeah.

Yep.

Yeah.

The last time I was conned, I was nine years old.

I bet you've probably been conned since then. Hear the story. Last time that I knowingly was conned. There you go. Back in those days, we used to get mail that had all these ads and all. And so, you know, I'm living out in the middle of the woods with my parents trying to find themselves. And so I saw this ad on the back, and it was shrinking powder.

Yeah. That is one of the most incredible stories in the Bible. It's only in John.

And he would later say that everything Jesus did was recorded. The world wouldn't have enough books to hold them. So there's a reason why. I think this story is special that it is shared. I mean, because the overall theme, I think, is what links God will go to to save a person. I mean, this is she's from the wrong region. You know, there's a verse Jews and Samaritans didn't associate.

Then in their culture, men don't talk alone with women in public. And to your point, just. reading the history of this, because I really think that contributes to understanding it. So one of the social places women would gather up were these wells. Right. Early in the day. I mean, it was kind of them.

Yeah, it was like a small group of women. You know, that's why she was here by herself, because of all those qualities and her life. was just a mess.

You know, and even though she had been married, what was it, five times? Yeah. And she's now living with a guy who she wasn't married to. Right. But in their culture, well, women weren't allowed to file for divorce. So she's basically been called five times to go with shame and you're just, because what do you walk away from saying that you're worthless and you keep getting validated?

You know, I don't want you in my life. I mean, five different times. Yeah, it's just a cast off.

And the picture of it was a boy walking down the street, and he had his parents and his dog in his pocket. And I thought, wow. Wow. So I saved up $9.95 and ordered a can of that shrinking powder. But the image was you can make everyone smaller. I just thought, boy, this. Were you going to shrink mom and dad in the dark? I was shrinking everybody. But you know what? It never came. It never came?

It never came. I sent $9.95 plus shipping.

Well, and a place. Yeah. Which I think is going back to John 2 when they were talking about the temple.

And he was like, it's a person. You kill this, and I'll raise it up in three days. So I think that's why it's in here.

I don't remember. Well, he had to. He was nine years old. He didn't have a check.

Remember, I sent it, and I spent the next three months going down there getting the mail.

He just says, I am. I was going to say, this is another I am. It's an I. He just says, I am. Yeah.

And going back to, you know. He didn't quite say it like that, but that is the implication.

Yeah, maybe if I mailed it for you, that actually got spent.

But I think that's where the love of darkness comes in because then all of a sudden, it's like what did the Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption, he was like telling – I don't remember this off the top of my head, but Mary was telling about the prison where first you're scared and you try to get out of it, you know, but it's like- See, then these walls start to become your security.

Yeah, he's like, then you depend on them. You depend on those walls, that's right. It's like you actually love them. That's right. At some point. That's right. And that's the disturbing part of our condition.

So when y'all said that, it reminded me of that. I was like, everyone's shrinking around me. There was a time in my life where I really tried to purchase that. And be in control. Shrinking powder.

And granted, it's temptation from the spiritual forces we talk about, but we convince ourselves, you know, oh, I'm smarter. I can figure this out. And you kind of love that process, you know. And he has that time.

Yeah, you become a slave. You become enslaved. To what has been done to you and how you responded to it. Right. I mean, I like how you depicted that. You had something that happened. Somebody else's sin affected you. But then, so what are you going to do about it? And now, well, then you just compounded it.

That's why I said for her to have this transition so quickly, because she wasn't going around. She was saying, he told me everything I ever did, because that was still her perspective.

But she concluded... He knows me. That's right. Which is why I think he brought up that about when he says you worship what you do not know. Yeah. Because they were all in the place of it all. I mean, I did a little rabbit hole search of these places. What I found fascinating- was that Jacob's well is still over there. They built a church building over it. I'm like, have you read John 4?

I'm all for keeping the well. And look, I know a lot of people that have gone and visited it. When I was in Israel, I didn't go because it's kind of on the wrong side of the track. And if you go visit it, they recommend security. But I saw a picture of it, and I thought it was fascinating. So when you go back to the Old Testament history, that's what they thought.

They never sent it. They just took the money because I probably sent cash. No, mom got that. She blew it.

And people still, the last remaining Samaritans, they still worship on this mountain today. They have festivals there, whatever it's called. It starts with a G. This mountain that she was referring to when she said... Oh, yeah, Gerizim. Yeah, Gerizim. Yeah.

And when you go back, and you remember Jacob's ladder, which they called Bethel, which they believe Bethel is in a different place because Abraham got the promise there. So they're going back to this location, which is really what Jesus is making a transition to. But I wanted to say this also. And we didn't read the rest of the story because that really wasn't where it ended.

You know, the disciples come back from town and they're like, They're like, you know, Rabbi, you need to eat something. And then he gets into this about the food. I have food to eat that you know nothing about, which kind of goes in with the living water. Right. And then this woman, she goes out telling everybody.

And that last little paragraph says many of the Samaritans in verse 39 from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony, which there it is again. He told me everything I ever did. Yeah. And so then the Samaritans came to him, which is a key phrase. And he stayed two days. And because of his words, many more became believers.

They said to the woman, we no longer believe just because of what you said, which was, he told me everything I ever did. Now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world. Here's what I found fascinating. If you go back to the beginning of the story, because I believe this is a very clever way of John describing how all people view Jesus.

And if you look at the titles, this is really fascinating. It starts off with her thinking he's just a Jew. Because in 4.9, she said, the Samaritan woman said, you're a Jew, and I'm a Samaritan. Well, you can't be talking to me. That's where it started. He's just a Jew who's acting. He's not acting appropriately by talking to me in the middle of the day alone.

And especially since he claims to be some kind of spiritual figure. Well, look, then, now his little comments are, made her then escalate it to sir, which I found this fascinating. She calls him sir in 11, 15, and 19. So now he's not just a Jew, but there's a little authority, which every other time this word is translated in the New Testament, I think but one, it's Lord.

So it's an authority, a respectful authority. So we went from just a Jew to sir. Well, then when the confrontation happens, which we didn't talk about, but it was a confrontation. Because at this point, everything's beautiful. When he says that everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.

Indeed, the water I give will become a spring of water welling up to eternal life. I mean, this is love is in the air type of. Love is in bloom. Beautiful. And then when the woman said, sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here. And then go call your husband and come back. She's like, oh, no. Really, that's what happened.

You got conned by your own mom. I have to confess, we've been talking about light and darkness, and there's a part of me, when Jesus comes back, And, you know, there's going to be a divide. You're either with the winning team or you're not. Everybody gets judged. And I was going to, I just, part of me has thought, all right, hey, let's new heaven, new earth, let's live.

Because it's a confrontation without condemning. That's right. But he confronted her life cleverly.

Because then he says, you know, I have no husband. You're right. But then watch what she says. Well, I can see you're a prophet. So now we've gone from just a Jew to sir, someone that I need to respect. Well, now you're a prophet. So you continue on with the titles. And then she brings up in 425, well, I know that there is a Messiah, right? called Christ is coming.

So that word dropped out, but she's still not directing it toward him. Well, I know there was supposed to be a Messiah. And then in verse, that's 25, and then 29, watch this. When she said, come see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Christ? Now, she didn't just, but we've escalated again. We've gone from a Jew to sir to a prophet. To maybe Messiah. Maybe the Christ.

And then I think when the disciples come in, this is interesting. That's why I read that. Well, they're calling him teacher, which they said rabbi, which is still, he is a great teacher. But where it ends, and the reason I read it, when they said he is the Savior of the world. And I think that transition to us individually and collectively is really what this is about.

It's like he's the Savior of the world. Yes, he's the Christ. Yes, he's a great teacher. Yes, he is Lord. Yes, he was a Jew. He was a human. And when I noticed that, I just thought, man,

Well, it freed her.

Yeah, and a respectful figure had actually engaged her. Loved her. And I think that just transformed her. Just think how lonely she was. Think how shame-filled she was. Even though there was a confrontation, you know.

And it's like, wait a minute, I'd like to know where that 995, where is that dude? Let's see. Did he make it? Did he repent? Yeah, exactly.

No, because I check the mail every day.

No, I put it in the mailbox. Oh, you did? Yeah. Well, I wasn't going to tell them that I was buying shrinking powder to shrink them and put them in my pocket. Because they were going in the pocket. I wasn't trying to hurt them. I just wanted to make them a little bit smaller.

Well, he brought her some truth.

Well, but people believe the lie that if they know what I did, nobody would talk to me. Right. Well, here's the creator of the world. who obviously knows everything she's done and is having a conversation with her, which I think echoes what we read in John 3 when he said, God didn't send his son into the world to condemn the world.

I mean, if he was ever going to condemn somebody, she's got quite a few strikes here, but he sent his son to save the world and whoever believes in him is not condemned.

So of all the people you could have a conversation with and know everything that you've ever done and is still willing to have a creation, I mean, to have a conversation, you talking to the creator of the world, because we all tend to be earthly in that God's a million miles away. He doesn't know what I'm doing because I don't believe he's there.

And I think that's why it is about a person, and he has the conversation.

I want to read this. This is Galatians 4, verse 8. And Paul says, formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not God's little G. But now that you know God, and then I love this little dash, or rather are known by God. How is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? It's an ongoing thing. God knows us. Deal with it in a positive.

I'm going to confess something. I can't divulge what I'm fixing to divulge, so I have to be careful. We may have to edit this, Matty. And to get your finger on the button. I was reached out to... There was kind of a supernatural phenomenon going on, and through a long process, I was contacted to be a part of a team that goes in and address whether this is

supernatural activity and uh now first y'all think this is crazy i actually said i tell you what give me the dates because the person who contacted me he's a good friend of mine and a believer and uh so i'm contemplating whether to do this because they're gonna film it and uh of course they asked me to pray for the i guess he said well i'll tell you what he said he's like

You're one of the most spiritual people I know, and I'm not sure what I'm getting into. So will you come and, you know, whatever you want to do, pray for us, talk to us about, you know, the Bible, about, you know, what this is. So I'm thinking about doing that. What do you think? I think you should. Yeah. Yeah. It's quite a few states away, but I thought about it. I've been contacted as a.

supernatural advisor into something.

Well, it didn't pique my interest. They called me.

That's what I'm saying. I keep, every time I think I'm awake, they pull me back in. We just had this conversation. I've been studying about it because I thought, well, worst case scenario, if there's nothing to it.

You know, I can give them a sermon for whatever production this is. And, uh,

And if you never see me again, now you know what happened. Then we know what happened.

I have a group of men who I made a deal with one time. I gave them Jesus. They have a special set of skills in military warfare. Like the guy you've taken. Yeah, we made an agreement. Like if I ever get hung up. Somewhere they said, we'll come get you. If I can just get to them. Yeah, and those are guys you want to know. And a part of me kind of wants in. No, not too dangerous.

Oh, here we go. Slow down. I'm not. Doesn't bother me. This is what married people do. They just cleared it. They're all good. Well, people say that. They're like, why are you talking about sex? And I was like, God invented that. He's the architect.

But get into that situation just to say, hey. Ride to the rescue. I know some people with some certain skills.

Yeah.

There's some security.

I went down a rabbit hole. I sabotaged the last podcast because Al said the only begotten son. I was just making the comment so I could stick it in there, and then we went into a whole podcast. But that's a thing, Al. People want to know about spiritual warfare. They love your rabbit holes. There's a lot of verses in there. So I think we did a pretty good job.

We'll go back. Wait a minute. I have an idea. Look. So when we left off the back end of chapter 3 and verse 19 through 21, I do think this goes with the woman at the well. Yeah. Because... I'm just going to go ahead and throw this out there. I think one of the biggest struggles she had, even though it's not directly mentioned, but once you understand the context, was shame. Yeah.

She had been shamed. You agree?

No, at least you just stepped into her. Well, because you just, especially when you understand the culture and what she had done and where she was at, at what time. Nobody ever seems to want to talk about the liver. No, it's underestimated. There's no country songs about whatever's going on with your liver. But it is an essential part of the body.

Yeah.

And to feel the earth. Yeah, that's how we all got here. I mean, every one of us got here. I think everyone needs that reminder. Make a public service announcement. What I was going to say, I'll tell you a fascinating story about my childhood. This popped into my head. Because I feel like I'm around people who are shrinking. Yeah. Is this a segue?

Well, that's why I wanted to tie in John 3, 19 through 21. Because it says, this is the verdict, which I never read last time. We just left people at night. I know, we just were hanging. The verdict is in, and guess what? Tune in next time. So this is next time. Light has come into the world, but men love darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. And obviously, light...

is a depiction of Jesus. But people love darkness, which I think is kind of a thought-provoking verse. Love was behind this, but people love darkness. To me, that's such a transition, because it's like, for God so loved the world. Oh, it's so beautiful. But guess what? People love darkness. Darkness. They love what's going out in the world and love to participate.

So then it says, everyone who does evil hates the light and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.

So obviously that's going to, we'll read the story, but that's going to translate over to here's this woman kind of going at a time during the day before we read it where she could be alone. And then all of a sudden she has this encounter with Jesus. But what I think is kind of, it's not funny, but it's funny to me. It's like she is.

so transformed in the moment, which is the opposite of Nicodemus. He eventually comes around later in this story. But she pretty well went from being filled with shame to going around in public saying, he told me everything I ever did.

It's like all the things you've done is why you were filled with shame, and now she's going around just announcing it to the world. So how does that happen?

That's a test. Who in here likes to fail? Up a couple of hands. Losers.

He does it. He's standing there. And the Bible says, first of all, God says, what are you doing here, Elijah?

And then the voice said again, why are you here, Elijah? And then you already said, go.

Elijah was not a failure, but he was tested.

He looked at him with hurt eyes, I'm sure. Told you, son. Then it says he went out and wept bitterly.

They're just a test.

And James says it is a whisper. Goes fast. Fear. Failure. What about the future?

Well, what are you going to do about retirement, Bob? Retirement? There's no retirement.

the people that have blessed your life.

Pretty good, Dad. And what about heaven and earth?

We are fighting from victory. Manny Canales was right. We win. And we know that.

Nope. Awful. Terrible storm.

And the water and the trees falling.

Trapped. Now, I'm claustrophobic. The older I get, the worse it gets.

I felt like a failure. I felt afraid.

It was a test. Do you believe me?

And I thought, God, why would I doubt?

I hear you. Worried about surgery, worried about how things are going to go.

And I'll tell you what God told Elijah, what Jesus told Peter, and what he told me. Go. When you're not sure, go. I got work for you to do.

He is a deal looker and a deal maker, Jace. Well, you've got people who probably book your travel, Jace. Do you book your own travel? No. The rest of the world does. Al, do you book your own travel? Well, Lisa does. You've got a person.

Looks good.

Yeah.

Is that a major sport now?

Yeah, well, LSU's not playing in the SEC tournament anymore.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How can this make you joyful? This guy's a husband, he's a father, and he's being young down in the middle of Manhattan. Why is that making you joyful?

The breaking news here, Daniel Penny found not guilty. But Lisa, we also know that Jordan Neely's family had filed, I believe, a civil suit in this case as well. Does the verdict in this case impact that?

Shame on you. We're all too old to do this. Shame on you.

No. No. It broke me hard.

Lisa was...

And Lisa's like, you know what? To be fair to him, he offered to show it to all of us. And I said, no, thank you. Thank you.

Almost as sensitive as giving handjobs, you know, in parties.

And she's like, oh my God, because me and Angie, we were like friends. We would talk on the phone for like three hours. until she had to go see Electra, asshole. Anyway, I would tell her so many things. I would be like, I'm on the way to Wendy's. I'm eating a Kit Kat. Like to pretend she doesn't know me. Hold on, Andy.

Yeah, because you know what? You know what? You shared, like, a very vulnerable moment, and, like, it was one moment, but she was on the phone with me every day for three years. Like, sorry, there's a big difference, Andrea. There's a big difference.

Yeah, but like, what did I tell you about their marriage when we were on the balcony at the day spa?

Love him. He's such a good person.

So we cheated.

Yeah.

So Lisa's like, yeah, you know, she brought up a rumor about me giving handjobs, which I was making out with a frosty.

Lisa's like, you know what, though? You know what, though? I put up with a lot from Whitney from day one and all of these people here. I put up with a bunch of these people. Okay?

I've been through something with everybody here. Like growing up, I grew up with six siblings, okay? Like if I was human traffic, no one would even know. I literally went to FedEx and I printed a picture of myself and I pasted it to a milk carton. They drank the milk. They drank the milk.

So when you come for the only people that I have, do you know how hard it is going out with your husband and people start asking you for handjobs? Poor Lisa. You ruined Kuchina Toscana for me.

Talk to Emma. Talk to Emma. Talk to Emma about that. Talk to Emma.

Lisa.