Lisa Bilyeu

So I take the negativity as actually a lesson and a warning sign of what I can do differently. So going back to your question, knowing that I've already upset my dad once by marrying a guy that he didn't want me to marry was hard. Now I moved to America, which is another thing is like, against your culture. You don't move that far away from your family.

In fact, my dad bought the house opposite him when I was nine years old. And he said, when you get married, you live in this house. That's, I mean, you're laughing probably because you know exactly the same thing, right?

In fact, my dad bought the house opposite him when I was nine years old. And he said, when you get married, you live in this house. That's, I mean, you're laughing probably because you know exactly the same thing, right?

Exactly the same. So when I think about the pressures that we get from other people, when I think about the decisions we make because we don't want to make the hard decisions, we don't want to defend ourselves and we don't want to upset people, we end up doing things that don't align with the life that we want.

Exactly the same. So when I think about the pressures that we get from other people, when I think about the decisions we make because we don't want to make the hard decisions, we don't want to defend ourselves and we don't want to upset people, we end up doing things that don't align with the life that we want.

And because I had done that for eight years and I made a promise to myself that I would never go back there again, I think when it got to the point where I was making a decision with children, I just said to myself, Lisa, it's your life. And if you can listen to other people and be gracious in your decisions, but make sure that it's not negotiable.

And because I had done that for eight years and I made a promise to myself that I would never go back there again, I think when it got to the point where I was making a decision with children, I just said to myself, Lisa, it's your life. And if you can listen to other people and be gracious in your decisions, but make sure that it's not negotiable.

I'm not telling people so that I can negotiate whether I'm going to have children or not. I'm telling people to inform them. And if they have advice and an opinion, I'm going to listen. But this isn't a negotiation. And so I went in there knowing this wasn't a negotiation.

I'm not telling people so that I can negotiate whether I'm going to have children or not. I'm telling people to inform them. And if they have advice and an opinion, I'm going to listen. But this isn't a negotiation. And so I went in there knowing this wasn't a negotiation.

It was my life to live, that God forbid something happens to these people around me, my dad or anything else, the people who are telling me, well, you should have kids. I know that when I go to bed at the end of the day, I can be at peace with the decision I've made because I've done it because I've wanted to, not because other people have influenced me.

It was my life to live, that God forbid something happens to these people around me, my dad or anything else, the people who are telling me, well, you should have kids. I know that when I go to bed at the end of the day, I can be at peace with the decision I've made because I've done it because I've wanted to, not because other people have influenced me.

And I've accepted the backlash that would come with it. And the backlash originally that came with it, especially being a Greek woman, was you're selfish. I even had a comment that I screenshot and saved. I wish I had it with me. The comment, you want to talk about bad comments? Someone said, Lisa, your husband is pretending that it's okay you don't have children.

And I've accepted the backlash that would come with it. And the backlash originally that came with it, especially being a Greek woman, was you're selfish. I even had a comment that I screenshot and saved. I wish I had it with me. The comment, you want to talk about bad comments? Someone said, Lisa, your husband is pretending that it's okay you don't have children.

When you turn 50 and you're old and wrinkly, he's going to leave you for a younger woman and have children. So now in that moment, you can convince yourself that that person is right. You can convince yourself that they have the right to shame you. No one has the right. And I won't allow it. And that is in my control. I won't allow it to shame me.

When you turn 50 and you're old and wrinkly, he's going to leave you for a younger woman and have children. So now in that moment, you can convince yourself that that person is right. You can convince yourself that they have the right to shame you. No one has the right. And I won't allow it. And that is in my control. I won't allow it to shame me.

And so in that moment, I just took the comment and I said to my husband, I just want to make sure this isn't true. And he just looked at me and he's like, of course it's not true. I was like, all right, great. Thanks, babe. Love you. Bye. But like going back to like always checking in on people, maybe my husband has made the decision, right? Or has changed his mind.

And so in that moment, I just took the comment and I said to my husband, I just want to make sure this isn't true. And he just looked at me and he's like, of course it's not true. I was like, all right, great. Thanks, babe. Love you. Bye. But like going back to like always checking in on people, maybe my husband has made the decision, right? Or has changed his mind.

When we decided not to have children, he was very okay with it. But if he wants children now, we've created a space to have that honesty where he can come to me and say, look, I know you're 45. I know you probably can't bear children anymore, but I want kids. Would you consider adopting? Would you consider fostering?

When we decided not to have children, he was very okay with it. But if he wants children now, we've created a space to have that honesty where he can come to me and say, look, I know you're 45. I know you probably can't bear children anymore, but I want kids. Would you consider adopting? Would you consider fostering?

There's always space for us to say to each other the hard thing and ask each other the hard questions, but it's always in service of trying to get to the answer that feels right for you. So at the end of the day, hopefully the description, the breakdown of how I handle children, people can use for children or anything in their lives. But don't you dare let other people make a decision for you.