Lisa Turkhurst

I am so well.

Thank you so much for that very generous introduction, Dave.

Well, I tried to dance in a little different box, trying to give people the spiritual and biblical confidence to know that boundaries are not just a good idea.

They're God's idea.

But also I'm speaking from the vantage point of someone who really struggles with boundaries and who has struggled with people pleasing.

And so I think people will appreciate that.

It is scary.

You know, I love what my counselor, Jim Kress, who weighs in throughout the book, says healthy people respect healthy boundaries.

Unhealthy people have never met a boundary they like.

So it can be scary.

But here's the thing.

If you draw a healthy boundary and someone rejects you or expresses great disappointment in you, then that person is eventually going to reject you or express great disappointment in you.

So you, you do have to make peace with that, but also you can say what needs to be said in a kind way.

I would say the most important thing to remember is that we really shouldn't be putting boundaries on other people.

We should draw boundaries around ourselves to keep ourselves sane, stable, and self-controlled.

And I think that is going to be a really helpful paradigm shift.

When you try to put a boundary on another person and,

you're in essence trying to control them.

And if they're unwilling or incapable of making the changes you want, you're going to be incredibly frustrated and feel like a boundary failure.

But when you draw a boundary around yourself, then you're able to stay empowered to do something about the situation you may find yourself in.