Lisa Turkhurst

Well, I think there's several factors that you have to consider and throughout the book I give checklists to help people become more self aware.

But let me give you a couple of things to consider.

If you find yourself needing to diminish the best of who you are to cover up the worst of who someone else is, that's an unhealthy situation.

If you find yourself having to normalize or possibly even just normalizing

behaviors that shouldn't be normalized and dancing with dysfunction and other people are pointing it out, but you're wanting to make excuses for it.

That's a huge situation.

And also if you find yourself in a situation where you're saying phrases like, I just can't take it anymore.

That's a big indication.

You see wherever there's chaos, there's usually a lack of a boundary.

It doesn't.

You know, I think there are Bible verses that sometimes are misunderstood and weaponized to make people feel guilty or even to make people drop their boundaries.

You know, and I think one of those is, well, didn't Jesus lay down his life for his friends?

Yes, Jesus did.

And he modeled that for us and he commanded us to do the same.

But Jesus laid down his life to accomplish a high and holy purpose.

He did not lay down his life to enable bad behavior to continue.

Look, when you are giving access to someone to your capacity and they are demonstrating zero responsibility, you're not going to be able to control them and make them more responsible.

So your choice is to draw a boundary around yourself and reduce the access that you've granted them.

For example, in finances, you know, Dave, today you probably won't give out your security passcode to your bank account.

Wisely so, right?