Louise Thompson

You know, January, this time of the year is really, really tricky for me because I've had so many hospital stays in January, a lot of emergency surgeries like rushing into theatre.

And so even looking out of the window, my brain knows when it's, you know, the 1st of January, the 20th of January, we're coming up to the 30th of January, which will be the two year anniversary of the surgery.

where I had to have my colon removed and was left with a stoma bag.

And these things, they're there.

It's the smells, it's the sensations, it's the condensation on the window that can trigger me into feeling really scared.

And the hypervigilance is actually a lot.

So it's lying in bed at night

And hearing the smallest sound reverberate through my entire head.

So I can be lying there and like, you know that weird like crackling behind a TV or something that like a normal person would hear?

Or the radiator pops.

Radiator pops.

But it literally, I can feel it go like... There's this huge wave and it hits and it just goes, floods through my whole body.

And I think...

And then I go, okay, no, that's fine.

That's a sign that I'm alive.

It's all right.

My senses are still all over the place.

So I have moments where I feel dissociated and I can not smell or taste or hear or even see that well.

And then I have other moments where I can smell, hear, taste too much.

So I'm very, very, very sensitive.