Lu

obviously doesn't want to be with your mum, but felt like trapped to be with your mum.

And then I just, I don't know.

This is so horrible.

Also, it is in sickness and in health.

And he's just thought, oh, well, she can't.

He's gone and started a new life and just left the wife.

To be honest, I think from the sounds of this, you want your dad to recognise that

You obviously feel rightly so that your dad's behaviour and handling of this situation is inappropriate.

And it is inappropriate because if he wanted to end the relationship with your mum, he should have ended the relationship and walked away and not essentially moved another woman into the house with the mum there.

And then now she's in a home like that's really, really shitty.

And then this other woman's now in the home.

And I recognise and I do agree that that is...

that's a bad way to behave I don't think you're ever going to get what you want from your dad which I feel is that recognition of do you know what I didn't handle this correctly but actually he might turn around and say I've been unhappy with your mum for like 15 years and I deserve a chance at life as well and

Because they're still alive, but you are grieving a loss.

That's like the awful thing about dementia.

is that that person isn't that person anymore.

People often say they die twice.

They die that first time and then when they sadly pass.

Listen, I actually don't,

think you're going to get what you want from this which is your dad to you want your dad to turn around and say yeah I've been a cunt basically and I don't think that he's going to do that and I think that you just need to carry on and focus on the things within your control which is your mum's care and your family and um if you don't feel like you can have relationship with your dad at the moment then I then I don't really blame you um and I hope that that does come