Lucy Greenwell

So all you had was the verge, essentially.

But does it make a difference to think that perhaps she gave birth to you somewhere?

Held you in her arms?

Wrapped you in that 12 to 18 month old vest?

and handed you to the gardener or the policeman does it does that change the feeling about what happened if it was that no not really I think there's more compassion or more love there isn't there to do that rather than leave you yeah but then I think to I think that I would feel that more if she hadn't then gone and done it a second time

The anger that comes through, that Jess always insists she doesn't feel towards her birth mother, it conceals something simpler, a question that never goes away.

I think this is key to understanding Jess.

As she sees it, the loving thing to do would have been to just tell her the facts.

The ongoing secrecy feels like a lack of respect, a lack of care.

It eats away at her.

I really do understand this.

The facts would have helped fill an enormous void in her life.

Also, for what it's worth, having spent this much time with Jess, I think she'd have found it within herself to understand.

I think she could have forgiven Jennifer if Jennifer had ever told her the truth.

But what was she supposed to do?

I mean, she's 18.

She really doesn't want to.

She's hidden the pregnancy.

She doesn't want to be busted now.

So what could she do?