Maddie

You know, she died 2022 on Thanksgiving and I had just gone into rehab 2021 in October around Halloween.

You know, she died 2022 on Thanksgiving and I had just gone into rehab 2021 in October around Halloween.

So this was still like pretty fresh. And so her passing from drinking even more. Solidified it for you.

So this was still like pretty fresh. And so her passing from drinking even more. Solidified it for you.

And like I said, me and Ashton, like we really related to each other because she would go to the hospital for drinking and she was like me.

And like I said, me and Ashton, like we really related to each other because she would go to the hospital for drinking and she was like me.

She did not care. She didn't. And I also think I like back then I was like, why not me? Like, why did I survive going to the hospital and none of that traveling to my brain? And she has two kids. Like, I don't even have kids. I have six dogs. Like, I just I still feel guilty to this day about I just don't know why I survived and she didn't.

She did not care. She didn't. And I also think I like back then I was like, why not me? Like, why did I survive going to the hospital and none of that traveling to my brain? And she has two kids. Like, I don't even have kids. I have six dogs. Like, I just I still feel guilty to this day about I just don't know why I survived and she didn't.

But that is the one death that has hit me like really hard. And whenever I was going kind of crazy, I thought that Ashton was like talking to me. Yeah. But I miss her every day and she was a really great person. She was also really nice. Like I know people, you know, will never talk ill of the dead, but she was genuinely like the nicest person. Yeah.

But that is the one death that has hit me like really hard. And whenever I was going kind of crazy, I thought that Ashton was like talking to me. Yeah. But I miss her every day and she was a really great person. She was also really nice. Like I know people, you know, will never talk ill of the dead, but she was genuinely like the nicest person. Yeah.

I always envied her because I could never be that nice to people. I'm like, I just have too much of a temper. Like I'm just going to pop off.

I always envied her because I could never be that nice to people. I'm like, I just have too much of a temper. Like I'm just going to pop off.

No, and I just don't understand. Yeah. But that really shook me. So now I'm going to kind of switch over into the tail end of my addiction and then into addiction. sobriety and everything. Um, so I had continued working at the first job because remember after I got fired from the ranch, I had picked up another two jobs. I always had two jobs because I always felt like I was going to get fired. Um,

No, and I just don't understand. Yeah. But that really shook me. So now I'm going to kind of switch over into the tail end of my addiction and then into addiction. sobriety and everything. Um, so I had continued working at the first job because remember after I got fired from the ranch, I had picked up another two jobs. I always had two jobs because I always felt like I was going to get fired. Um,

So I think it's kind of like a security thing for me at this point, but I've always kind of remained with two jobs. So after I got the second DWI, I just stopped showing up to that other job. Like the first one that had sent me home for drinking or whatever. Yeah. I just stopped showing up. I was like, no. And then I blocked everyone like ghosted. I blocked everyone on my phone.

So I think it's kind of like a security thing for me at this point, but I've always kind of remained with two jobs. So after I got the second DWI, I just stopped showing up to that other job. Like the first one that had sent me home for drinking or whatever. Yeah. I just stopped showing up. I was like, no. And then I blocked everyone like ghosted. I blocked everyone on my phone.

Um, then like six months later, I changed my phone number, like to be heard of and seen never again, like not, not my style. Um, so I just never showed up the second job where I let my, my husband, um, I was working there and I knew he was married. I did. Um,

Um, then like six months later, I changed my phone number, like to be heard of and seen never again, like not, not my style. Um, so I just never showed up the second job where I let my, my husband, um, I was working there and I knew he was married. I did. Um,

And I also knew that they were separated and having problems and basically that they haven't been in the same room with each other for about a little over a year now.

And I also knew that they were separated and having problems and basically that they haven't been in the same room with each other for about a little over a year now.