Maddie

I think that's what I liked. And again, that's kind of like where I also say I relate to my dad in a lot of ways is because I crave that addiction. Yeah. I still crave alcohol because this is so fucked up because I miss that feeling of being out of my mind. Like I know there is nothing else in the world that will make me feel like that ever again.

I think that's what I liked. And again, that's kind of like where I also say I relate to my dad in a lot of ways is because I crave that addiction. Yeah. I still crave alcohol because this is so fucked up because I miss that feeling of being out of my mind. Like I know there is nothing else in the world that will make me feel like that ever again.

And that's so fucked up because that's what like, you know, destroyed my life. But now looking back on it, I still crave it so much.

And that's so fucked up because that's what like, you know, destroyed my life. But now looking back on it, I still crave it so much.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I loved, like, people are like, I don't really like drinking because I don't like being out of control. I'm like, fuck control. Like, I just want to go to sleep. Like, zanned out, baby.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I loved, like, people are like, I don't really like drinking because I don't like being out of control. I'm like, fuck control. Like, I just want to go to sleep. Like, zanned out, baby.

But I still to this day crave that feeling. So that's why I still say, you know, my husband was in the car the other day and he was like, why do you still consider yourself an alcoholic? And I was like, every single day I think about it. Like, I know that's scary to hear, but it's the God honest truth.

But I still to this day crave that feeling. So that's why I still say, you know, my husband was in the car the other day and he was like, why do you still consider yourself an alcoholic? And I was like, every single day I think about it. Like, I know that's scary to hear, but it's the God honest truth.

You know, like every day, you know, some days are easier than others, but there's, especially now that I've picked up serving shifts on the weekend, And like gone back into that environment, I like sometimes I'm like, dang, it really sucks that I can't go get a drink with my coworkers after this.

You know, like every day, you know, some days are easier than others, but there's, especially now that I've picked up serving shifts on the weekend, And like gone back into that environment, I like sometimes I'm like, dang, it really sucks that I can't go get a drink with my coworkers after this.

It totally is.

It totally is.

Well, and even it doesn't even stop in the service industry. You know, I got out and worked an office job and everybody was like, come eat for happy hour. I'm like... Because it is an escape. Yes. And I'm like, I... Can, but I can't. And also, when I was still drinking, for the very short time I was in an office setting and going to those happy hours, I couldn't handle myself. Yeah. I...

Well, and even it doesn't even stop in the service industry. You know, I got out and worked an office job and everybody was like, come eat for happy hour. I'm like... Because it is an escape. Yes. And I'm like, I... Can, but I can't. And also, when I was still drinking, for the very short time I was in an office setting and going to those happy hours, I couldn't handle myself. Yeah. I...

was with a small amount of people that luckily didn't like gossip or anything. I got really lucky basically. Um, but I didn't act professional or anything. I was pounding six drinks at those happy hour events. Like girl, nobody needs to pound six drinks, but Even then, I still couldn't. That's why I say I don't think I can even... I still don't straw taste drinks at the bar I work at.

was with a small amount of people that luckily didn't like gossip or anything. I got really lucky basically. Um, but I didn't act professional or anything. I was pounding six drinks at those happy hour events. Like girl, nobody needs to pound six drinks, but Even then, I still couldn't. That's why I say I don't think I can even... I still don't straw taste drinks at the bar I work at.