Madison Smith

I always feel like this is the hardest part because I never know what to say about myself. Well, my name's Madison Smith. My... I'm in nursing school right now. I have about a year left. I've been married for almost three years, and I have a wonderful family, and probably my littlest best friend would be my one-and-a-half-year-old niece.

I always feel like this is the hardest part because I never know what to say about myself. Well, my name's Madison Smith. My... I'm in nursing school right now. I have about a year left. I've been married for almost three years, and I have a wonderful family, and probably my littlest best friend would be my one-and-a-half-year-old niece.

I mean, this is a place where you turn a corner and you see somebody you know. You don't really see strangers in this town. And everybody kind of looks after each other. It's got a very homey feel wherever you go in town.

I mean, this is a place where you turn a corner and you see somebody you know. You don't really see strangers in this town. And everybody kind of looks after each other. It's got a very homey feel wherever you go in town.

I was scared because having to tell over 300 strangers because I needed their support about what happened to me seemed so scary.

I was scared because having to tell over 300 strangers because I needed their support about what happened to me seemed so scary.

So at that point, I was like, all right, let's collect these signatures. Let's do this.

So at that point, I was like, all right, let's collect these signatures. Let's do this.

I would say some people know some people's business. It's not very, like, I don't know everybody's business. But there's, you know, your small town gossip that the rumor mill goes around town.

I would say some people know some people's business. It's not very, like, I don't know everybody's business. But there's, you know, your small town gossip that the rumor mill goes around town.

So we set up in front of a hair salon in Lindsberg. And to make things harder for us, it was in the middle of COVID. It was 2020. So we hosted a BYOP, bring your own pen, event. But we also had pens and we're sanitizing them in between everything and wearing masks and the whole nine yards and everything.

So we set up in front of a hair salon in Lindsberg. And to make things harder for us, it was in the middle of COVID. It was 2020. So we hosted a BYOP, bring your own pen, event. But we also had pens and we're sanitizing them in between everything and wearing masks and the whole nine yards and everything.

and made ridiculous signs, and we had a ladder that was stood up and had balloons all over it and streamers, just something to attract people's attention, really, is what it is.

and made ridiculous signs, and we had a ladder that was stood up and had balloons all over it and streamers, just something to attract people's attention, really, is what it is.

And I'd say, hi, my name is Madison Smith. I was raped at Bethany College campus. And the county attorney said, and they said, say no more. Where do I sign? Like, that was so encouraging and just so amazing to have complete strangers just support you at, I don't know, what was that, 10 words, 15 words I said? And they're like, say no more.

And I'd say, hi, my name is Madison Smith. I was raped at Bethany College campus. And the county attorney said, and they said, say no more. Where do I sign? Like, that was so encouraging and just so amazing to have complete strangers just support you at, I don't know, what was that, 10 words, 15 words I said? And they're like, say no more.

I don't want to say it got easier, but I became numb. Like I almost became a robot at that point. Like, hi, my name is Madison and this is what happened to me. Will you please sign my petition so I can get this? That's kind of how it felt like it went for a little while.

I don't want to say it got easier, but I became numb. Like I almost became a robot at that point. Like, hi, my name is Madison and this is what happened to me. Will you please sign my petition so I can get this? That's kind of how it felt like it went for a little while.

Oh, yeah. My parents and I have always been super close. I know you're not supposed to be like best friends with your kids or anything, but it always kind of felt like my parents were.

Oh, yeah. My parents and I have always been super close. I know you're not supposed to be like best friends with your kids or anything, but it always kind of felt like my parents were.

It was so defeating to know that we worked so hard to collect over 300 signatures of registered voters in our county, and it got denied. It was so defeating because I was like, we did all that work for nothing. Nothing. It was awful.

It was so defeating to know that we worked so hard to collect over 300 signatures of registered voters in our county, and it got denied. It was so defeating because I was like, we did all that work for nothing. Nothing. It was awful.

There were, I mean, multiple times throughout all of this, there were multiple times where I was just, I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to be human again. And not feel like I am a rape survivor and that was my personality. Because at some points that is what it felt like.

There were, I mean, multiple times throughout all of this, there were multiple times where I was just, I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to be human again. And not feel like I am a rape survivor and that was my personality. Because at some points that is what it felt like.

And I was like, screw it, let's go again.

And I was like, screw it, let's go again.

I did have this wild dream of going to Clemson University in South Carolina when I was growing up, and I loved—I went on a visit there with my aunt, and I loved it. I fell in love with the campus, but that out-of-state tuition, it'll get you every time. It's really expensive, so I ended up obviously not going there.

I did have this wild dream of going to Clemson University in South Carolina when I was growing up, and I loved—I went on a visit there with my aunt, and I loved it. I fell in love with the campus, but that out-of-state tuition, it'll get you every time. It's really expensive, so I ended up obviously not going there.

I just found them on Facebook and I messaged them and I'm like, hey, I don't know if you remember me, but you signed my petition about calling a grand jury for my rape case. but it got denied and I want to do it again. Can I meet you somewhere to have you sign it again? And everybody's like, oh yeah, absolutely. Let's meet up here at this time on this day. It was great.

I just found them on Facebook and I messaged them and I'm like, hey, I don't know if you remember me, but you signed my petition about calling a grand jury for my rape case. but it got denied and I want to do it again. Can I meet you somewhere to have you sign it again? And everybody's like, oh yeah, absolutely. Let's meet up here at this time on this day. It was great.

So it was almost easier the second time around, but yeah, it's again, just complete robot of me. Just, hi, my name's Madison. Can you please help me?

So it was almost easier the second time around, but yeah, it's again, just complete robot of me. Just, hi, my name's Madison. Can you please help me?

I think from the night of being raped to the point where the grand jury got accepted, it had been, let me count, I think it had been three and a half, four years.

I think from the night of being raped to the point where the grand jury got accepted, it had been, let me count, I think it had been three and a half, four years.

So what happened was the grand jury was convened. It's all very, very, very secretive. So there's no way for us to really, even today, ever know what exactly went on in that room that day or whatever days they met. But the day that my mom and I testified, it was in an old bank building in McPherson. And we're sitting at this long, almost like those white picnic tables that you see at churches.

So what happened was the grand jury was convened. It's all very, very, very secretive. So there's no way for us to really, even today, ever know what exactly went on in that room that day or whatever days they met. But the day that my mom and I testified, it was in an old bank building in McPherson. And we're sitting at this long, almost like those white picnic tables that you see at churches.

We're sitting at one of those. And then across the rest of the room, there's the jury.

We're sitting at one of those. And then across the rest of the room, there's the jury.

When I found out about the decision of the grand jury, I was at work, and I get an email from Jeff, one of the attorneys who represented me, and I saw a grand jury decision. And my coworkers had all known what I was going through, and I was like, I should be hearing any day. And I looked at them, I looked at my coworkers, and I said, this is it.

When I found out about the decision of the grand jury, I was at work, and I get an email from Jeff, one of the attorneys who represented me, and I saw a grand jury decision. And my coworkers had all known what I was going through, and I was like, I should be hearing any day. And I looked at them, I looked at my coworkers, and I said, this is it.

I need to go read this, but I don't want to be right here right now. And so I stepped into our little med room real quick and I saw that they came back with no true bill, which means nothing else was happening. And we're at where we are today. And I wanted to cry, but I still had a little bit of my workday to get through.

I need to go read this, but I don't want to be right here right now. And so I stepped into our little med room real quick and I saw that they came back with no true bill, which means nothing else was happening. And we're at where we are today. And I wanted to cry, but I still had a little bit of my workday to get through.

So I just went out there and I told my coworkers and I said, it's not happening. And I said, and I said, I don't know how to react. I don't know what to say. So I was like, I really just need to move on about my day like it's any other day right now because I don't know what else to say.

So I just went out there and I told my coworkers and I said, it's not happening. And I said, and I said, I don't know how to react. I don't know what to say. So I was like, I really just need to move on about my day like it's any other day right now because I don't know what else to say.

I have a year left of school, and then I'm going to go get some experience under my belt, and I want to become SANE-SART certified.

I have a year left of school, and then I'm going to go get some experience under my belt, and I want to become SANE-SART certified.

And I was like, you know what? I'm going to go do my laundry. And so I go up to my room, and I grab my hamper of laundry, and I wander down to the laundry room on the first floor. And in there, I see one of my friends, Jared, who I was like, oh, hey, what are you doing? He's, you know, getting ready to go fold laundry. And

And I was like, you know what? I'm going to go do my laundry. And so I go up to my room, and I grab my hamper of laundry, and I wander down to the laundry room on the first floor. And in there, I see one of my friends, Jared, who I was like, oh, hey, what are you doing? He's, you know, getting ready to go fold laundry. And

So I started my laundry, and he asked if I wanted to come upstairs and wait with him in his room. And I said, yeah, let's hang out while I'm waiting. Might as well. And we were listening to music. He grabbed me a beer, which I didn't even drink half of because I don't like beer. But we started hanging out, started making out.

So I started my laundry, and he asked if I wanted to come upstairs and wait with him in his room. And I said, yeah, let's hang out while I'm waiting. Might as well. And we were listening to music. He grabbed me a beer, which I didn't even drink half of because I don't like beer. But we started hanging out, started making out.

It progressed to we started to have sex, which was consensual up until the point he put his hands around my throat and started to squeeze. He started to strangle me, and I had my hand on his wrist, and I tried to pull it away. and his grip got tighter.

It progressed to we started to have sex, which was consensual up until the point he put his hands around my throat and started to squeeze. He started to strangle me, and I had my hand on his wrist, and I tried to pull it away. and his grip got tighter.

He slapped me multiple times across my face, strangled me for probably 20 seconds at a time multiple times to the point it left bruises on my neck and chest. At one point, he stood up and grabbed me by my hair, And he yanked me up to a sitting position and forced me to give him a blowjob. And then he wanted me to turn around and get on all fours.

He slapped me multiple times across my face, strangled me for probably 20 seconds at a time multiple times to the point it left bruises on my neck and chest. At one point, he stood up and grabbed me by my hair, And he yanked me up to a sitting position and forced me to give him a blowjob. And then he wanted me to turn around and get on all fours.

And at that point, he attempted to penetrate me anally. And I don't know how I got away with a no on that one. After he was done, he went to the bathroom and... I got dressed in a hurry. But before he even went to the bathroom, he said, well, that just happened. And I'm like, that's all you have to say?

And at that point, he attempted to penetrate me anally. And I don't know how I got away with a no on that one. After he was done, he went to the bathroom and... I got dressed in a hurry. But before he even went to the bathroom, he said, well, that just happened. And I'm like, that's all you have to say?

I know in the back of my mind, he doesn't think that he did anything wrong in the middle of it. And I'm not even fully convinced at this point that I had been raped. So I needed to talk to somebody. I didn't want to be alone because it just felt weird.

I know in the back of my mind, he doesn't think that he did anything wrong in the middle of it. And I'm not even fully convinced at this point that I had been raped. So I needed to talk to somebody. I didn't want to be alone because it just felt weird.

And at that point, she had me write down what I had felt, what happened, and how it was making me feel. And then I showed her the bruises, and she just started crying with me. And then I stayed with her for most of the night, but eventually went back to my dorm. And it wasn't until the next day, so it would have been February 12th of 2018.

And at that point, she had me write down what I had felt, what happened, and how it was making me feel. And then I showed her the bruises, and she just started crying with me. And then I stayed with her for most of the night, but eventually went back to my dorm. And it wasn't until the next day, so it would have been February 12th of 2018.

I was sitting in my human anatomy and physiology class and I get a message from Alana and she had been checking in on me all day. So I just wanted to let her know I was fine real quick. So I open it up and she goes, Maddie, I talked to my mom and her mom's an EMT. And she goes, I really think we need to tell your parents what happened. You were raped. You 100% were raped.

I was sitting in my human anatomy and physiology class and I get a message from Alana and she had been checking in on me all day. So I just wanted to let her know I was fine real quick. So I open it up and she goes, Maddie, I talked to my mom and her mom's an EMT. And she goes, I really think we need to tell your parents what happened. You were raped. You 100% were raped.

We need to tell somebody what happened. And it wasn't until I read the words, Maddie, you were raped, that I believed it.

We need to tell somebody what happened. And it wasn't until I read the words, Maddie, you were raped, that I believed it.

And she could tell that something was weird. And I just kind of looked between her and my dad for a second, and I just ripped the band-aid off. I said, I think I was raped.

And she could tell that something was weird. And I just kind of looked between her and my dad for a second, and I just ripped the band-aid off. I said, I think I was raped.

In the little town of Lindsberg, we don't have a SANE-SART team at the hospital here, so we had to drive out of town for this.

In the little town of Lindsberg, we don't have a SANE-SART team at the hospital here, so we had to drive out of town for this.

And I went back there and I had pictures taken of my body inside, outside, head to toe, front to back, the whole nine yards.

And I went back there and I had pictures taken of my body inside, outside, head to toe, front to back, the whole nine yards.

Before I met with the county attorney, I was expecting him to say, these are the charges we're going to file and here's when we're doing it. In my 19-year-old mind, I thought that that's how the world should work and that's what should be done.

Before I met with the county attorney, I was expecting him to say, these are the charges we're going to file and here's when we're doing it. In my 19-year-old mind, I thought that that's how the world should work and that's what should be done.

Which, weird. Like, I understand that I'm legally an adult at 19 years old. But anyway, I start speaking with him, and the first thing he said to me was, I'm not pressing charges because this wasn't rape. This was immature sex. In my mind, I'm like, well, one, what the hell is immature sex? Like, that's not a legal term. Why are we using that?

Which, weird. Like, I understand that I'm legally an adult at 19 years old. But anyway, I start speaking with him, and the first thing he said to me was, I'm not pressing charges because this wasn't rape. This was immature sex. In my mind, I'm like, well, one, what the hell is immature sex? Like, that's not a legal term. Why are we using that?

I read more on consent, and I always knew that you don't do something without somebody's permission, but I never really thought about that in the sense of sex and my permission of somebody to do something with me, and I'm not saying that I haven't been educated on it. It's just I guess my brain didn't make that connection, so I read more on consent and what rape is and what it isn't, and I knew.

I read more on consent, and I always knew that you don't do something without somebody's permission, but I never really thought about that in the sense of sex and my permission of somebody to do something with me, and I'm not saying that I haven't been educated on it. It's just I guess my brain didn't make that connection, so I read more on consent and what rape is and what it isn't, and I knew.

We actually all had to drive separately because my dad had to go to work and I had school. So we were all in separate cars, actually. And I was on my way back home and I said, well, that's that, I guess. He got away with it. That sucks. And I was already in therapy at this point. My mom had me in therapy by... It was on Valentine's Day. I had my first therapy appointment.

We actually all had to drive separately because my dad had to go to work and I had school. So we were all in separate cars, actually. And I was on my way back home and I said, well, that's that, I guess. He got away with it. That sucks. And I was already in therapy at this point. My mom had me in therapy by... It was on Valentine's Day. I had my first therapy appointment.

So I was like, I'll just continue with therapy and see what happens.

So I was like, I'll just continue with therapy and see what happens.