Mallory Ervin
speaker
199 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Jan 2025
Mallory Ervin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
The perfectionism almost killed me more than the addiction. It crippled me and it became something that I almost lost my life to. And I ended up in a treatment center for six months of my life. These were prescription medications that were being prescribed to me that I had become dependent on and was taking them in a way that was not prescribed.
A 0% chance. Number one, I wouldn't be alive today. You don't think you would have lived another eight weeks? I was that close, like my body was shutting down.
I want you to not be embarrassed about the things that you went through, especially those things that are dark and a little seedy and feel a little sketchy to you and that you don't want to say at the PTA meeting. It's me. It's me to have sat by this beautiful peony arrangement with my face on a book.
That is a powerful part of my story because I think that people count themselves out of their dreams because of things that they went through in their past. I want you to remember that this is the face of addiction.
That this is my office and I've got six amazing girls that work for me and my businesses do millions of dollars in revenue and this is my husband and these are my kids and this is what my home looks like. But I also want you to look at my face and remember that this is the face of addiction.
Yes. I love that you started with that because of all of the things that happened to me in my life, overcoming that is really one of the biggest obstacles that I had to overcome to get to where I am today. Because perfectionism is like, you know, it's like a drug. I was addicted to it. And you said it in my intro, you know, born the oldest of all these cousins, the oldest of all of my siblings.
I was destined, I think, to be a perfectionist because I thought, I'm here. I'm the example. I'm the oldest. I had this amazing family that I wanted to set a good example for and be all that I could be. I was born, I was a singer and I had this talent as a young girl and I was on stages immediately as a six-year-old. And I was really primed to be a perfectionist.
And, you know, Jamie, it wasn't crippling to me until later in life. You know, I did the Miss Kentucky pageant and Miss America pageant. And I think pageants really multiply perfectionism because you are literally standing on a stage and they are judging the way that you look and speak and walk and sing and are.
And we signed up for that, you know, which is it just makes anyone that is a perfectionist, it makes them lean into that 10 times more, I think. But when I really feel like I overcame it was when I went through my crisis point in my life and my low. And it's something that I shared in my book that took me a really long time to share because I was a perfectionist.
Because that part of my story, I kept quiet for so long. And so I'd gone from this, you know, little country girl with big dreams, you know, achieving my dreams, some really big stages and achieving all that I could as a young person, setting this great example for my family.
achieving Miss Kentucky, going to Miss America, being a runner up at Miss America, doing the amazing race with my dad three times. And I'd achieved all these dreams as a young 20-something-year-old. And I started to crumble under the weight of that because I just felt like as a perfectionist, I had to be this certain type of person.
And I had to outdo like everything that I had done in my life or else people were going to be disappointed in me. And I was disappointed in myself. And at this point in my life where I started to have dependence on prescription medication. that a doctor had started to prescribe me so that I could kind of keep going at this pace, this furious pace of life, keep achieving and doing and doing more.
And it crippled me and it became something that I almost lost my life to. And I ended up in a treatment center for six months of my life, you know, after I just walked off the Miss America stage, you know, doing all of these wonderful things.
And if you had told me when I was standing on that stage as this shiny, shiniest version of myself that that was where I would end up in a few years, I would have said there's no way. There's no path to that. But perfectionism is certainly a path to that. And it's something that I couldn't outrun. I couldn't keep up with. And it held me back in so many aspects of my life. It kept me in a cage.
And what I experienced in going through treatment, because it's never the drugs and alcohol, and treatment's always what's underneath that that got you there in the first place. And when we started digging up all of that, like, why do you feel like this? And why do you feel like you have to be this version of yourself? What if you showed up as your real, authentic, true self?
You know, what would that look like and feel like and be like? And I emerged six months later as the most pure, authentic, non-perfectionistic version of myself. And that's when living fully, which is my whole message, it's what my book is called and my podcast is called and everything that I talk about, just like you talk about worthiness and believing in yourself.
I talk about living fully and to live the fullest life, I could no longer live as a perfectionist. Yeah. because you hold yourself back from so much when you live like that. And so, you know, how I overcame it is maybe different than a lot of people. You know, you may not have to go through an addiction or a crisis, but like it's making a decision that, A, it's the realization that like
people don't even love the perfect version of you more than they would love the authentic version of you. Isn't that true? I learned that after showing up as the authentic version of myself, you know, your moment was taking that. That's the first time that I saw Jamie was taking that makeup off on QVC and like showing your skin. I can still remember the reaction that I had to that.
And I saw as a person online, when I started showing up truly authentically, Talking about the good stuff and talking about the bad stuff. Showing up with no makeup and my hair wasn't brushed yet and talking about the things that I struggled with and... the non-perfect parts of myself, that's when people liked me more.
Yeah, that's a great question. Because so when I first went to treatment, I was still like so delusional that there was an issue at all. But I thought when I showed up that day and luckily like my parents were the ones that facilitated like there is an issue here. We don't know because we've never experienced addiction as a family. So they were Googling and asking and trying to figure out.
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