Margie Worrell
speaker
50 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Margie Worrell’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
We Can Do Hard Things · How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of) · 2 Feb 2025
podcast
You know, practice the one minute rule that one brave minute, like in one minute of brave action could open up a whole lot of opportunities that you just don't even know about. When we give ourselves permission to feel anything, it actually opens us up for everything.
My definition of courage is the decision to take action in the presence of our fear and doubt and risk.
Well, let me just start by sharing two core dimensions of courage. The first is the management of our fear. So sometimes people are afraid, disproportionate to any real risk. And the second is our willingness to take action in the presence of it. So some people are born a little more uptight and anxious and naturally more kind of cautious and risk averse than others.
And so they'll often feel a little more fearful when it comes to doing something, to going on an adventure, to putting themselves out there. And so I think everyone has the capacity for courage from the most timid and cautious to the most bold, you know, risk-taking people that we think of, Bear Grylls, Richard Branson, you know, the Navy SEALs.
But everyone has this capacity to build courage and to take action in the presence of their fears and doubts. But what it looks like for each of us can be very different.
Absolutely. Yes. Fear, that emotion of fear. Let's just be clear. We wouldn't be here as a species if we didn't feel afraid. So I think fear gets a bad rap like, ah, you know, if we could just eradicate fear, fear is the enemy. No, fear is not the enemy. Fear is what's
helped all of us avoid doing stupid things, particularly in our younger years when we may have felt a little more invulnerable to the dangers of the world. So it's not that fear is a bad thing. And so sometimes our fear is alerting us to a legitimate danger. You know, don't dive into that river. You don't know how deep it is. Don't run across the freeway.
Don't invest money with this person because something's coming up. You've got this feeling like they're just not to be trusted. So to be clear, fear Fear isn't the enemy. It is not about fear eradication.
It's about fear management and being able to discern what fears are serving me, what fears are enabling me to use my time and my talents and my energy toward things that enrich my life and what fears are actually keeping me from doing those very things.
you're afraid of the sting of rejection and uh it's that and it's actually not the rejection itself it's what we make it mean that i'm not good enough if you knew that you know if you didn't if we didn't internalize that rejection as a judgment that we are inadequate that we're not cute enough that we're not popular enough that we're not smart enough then we would just ask them.
We'd go, hey, do you want to go out on a date? And if they said no, you go, oh, well, whatever. But we don't do that because we just want to avoid the chance of them saying, oh, no, thank you. Oh, thanks, but no thanks. And like, oh. I'm not good enough. And I think, you know, this can apply to people who are 16 years old and they want to invite someone to the prom.
And it can apply to someone, I've got friends who are 56 years old and they're like, oh, I'd really like to meet someone. But, oh, and it's like, I don't want to have to feel the uncomfortable emotions that may come my way if I do put myself out there. You know, it could be applying for another job. It could be inviting someone on a date.
It could be just a platonic, reaching out to someone you'd like to get to know better. And so we often hold back. You know, procrastination is just a way to avoid, it's a tactic to avoid the discomfort of trying something and not doing well.
Well, people will rarely say, I don't want to feel those emotions. Actually, what they'll usually say is, I'm just too busy. Or there'll be some other reason. It's not always that, oh, I don't want to feel those emotions. It's like, oh, no, it's just not the right time. Or it's not so bad right now. And we'll come up with a whole lot of other reasons that give us air cover.
So I would just be going, okay, so let's pull this back. What have you got to lose? And, you know, well, at the end of the day, I've got to lose a little bit of face here. I've got to lose my pride a little bit. Like, I don't want to feel that way. And then I'm like, what have you got to gain? And, you know, we don't know what we don't experience when we don't be brave, right?
We don't know that, hey, we could have met some awesome person or we could have gone to some event and met a whole lot of people or landed some great opportunity. We don't know what we don't get because we stuck with what was safe. So, often our attention zeros in on what could go wrong or what could be lost and we really just quickly pass by, well, what is it that you could be losing?
What's the opportunity cost of you not doing this? And so, you know, in my book, I talk about, you know, practice the one-minute rule that one brave minute, like in one minute of brave action could open up a whole lot of opportunities that you just don't even know about. But just recognizing that when we give ourselves permission to feel anything, It actually opens us up for everything.
A hundred percent. Absolutely. You know, people who land on the top of the mountain and I'm not saying we all want to land on the top of a mountain, but people who land there didn't just get there by accident. It's because they were just putting themselves out there, trying things, doing things, failing a lot. You know, the most successful people aren't people who haven't failed.
They've failed way more than the average person, but they don't let the failures define them. They learn from them.
we're all going to fail either we're going to try things and fail or we're going to fail to try things in which case there's there's valuable learning either way and often we brush past it and we don't want to really look at it because it's a little uncomfortable to look at sometimes it's it's revealing to us like something we don't really want to see but giving yourself permission to risk what i call a worthy failure a worthy failure is pursuing something
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