Marie Gleeson

So I said something like recognising John and the sport with the bouncing little boy that should have been on his daddy's knee.

And the old me would have thought that would have made me weak and might have thought that my crew weren't able.

But actually, for me, that was showing my crew that I was absolutely resilient, strong and could cope with whatever was going to come at us in the following two years.

But I think that the decisions around the Navy, like there's a there's a whole other side to our story around infertility and what came next.

And unfortunately, our journey to have more children wasn't straightforward.

And everything they had told me about my fertility journey came to fruition.

And we went through a really difficult, difficult journey to have the girls

And some of that I did when I was towards the end of my command at sea.

But again, when I had the girls then, there was this recognition that, you know, I had lost all that time with Ciarán and I didn't want to lose more time with the girls.

And unfortunately, the way the military promotion system works, you do have to sacrifice a lot from a family perspective.

I have huge respect for the people who do.

But, you know, it didn't mean the same to me then.

And also I wanted to be me.

And you can't be you when you're in a uniform all the time.

And that

that cadet who was gregarious and outgoing and talked a lot and asked a lot of questions.

That is me.

So when I left the Navy, there was huge regret at the camaraderie, losing the camaraderie, the team spirit.

But then there was this bravery that I was given to go and try something different.

And I threw caution to the wind and I had no real plan.