Mariska Hargitay

My baby brother died at birth.

The griefs affected me.

53 years ago, my four-and-a-half-year-old brother Scott died.

Jane Mansfield and Mickey Hargitay have just left this American Airlines plane.

A huge crowd has gathered.

I think that's where I start now, is looking that here is our mother, this little girl whose father died when she was three years old, and she was in the car with him.

We start there with Jane.

We start there with loss.

And I go, I know that one.

I think my whole life.

As a child, I did always feel separate.

And, of course, I didn't know about why I felt so separate, but I just knew that I was like on this island by myself my whole life.

I feel like I've had a hole in my heart.

Just something has always been wrong.

Something has always been wrong.

missing, something could never be filled, and there was always just this incredible sadness.

When I look back at the photos of me, there was a lot of frozen smiles.

And I remember I had a big personality and I was very happy, but when I got sad, I don't think my parents knew how to deal with it, so they would tell me to snap out of it and that I was like a black cloud.

And that was really rough for me because I learned quickly that there wasn't room for my sadness.

And now I see it as it was too much for my dad.