Marissa Renee Lee

Hey, I'm just I'm thinking of you.

You know, I just want to see how you're doing.

No need to respond.

I don't think I realized how much it mattered to other people, that specific framing of you don't need to respond until someone else called me out on it and told me how much it meant to them that they knew that I was there.

But they didn't feel any obligation or responsibility or judgment or guilt around communicating what they were feeling.

If your best friend has a baby,

Think about the things that you would do for them in that moment.

You know, you might leave a meal.

You might show up and hold the baby for a little while so they can take a shower or brush their teeth or whatever.

And also think about the things that you would or would not expect from them.

Take their kid out so that they can cry alone.

Take their dog for a walk.

Drop off a meal, ideally something that can be frozen or saved for a future date because a lot of people bring food.

Clean their house.

Do something that makes living easier for them.

And so when I came back to work, and this is one of those things that even all these years later, I still get choked up over because it was just so sweet.

But one of the things that was left at my desk was a mix CD that she made for me.

Because again, this was a long time ago, folks.

It was authentic to me, to her, to our relationship, which wasn't super deep.

You know, she didn't leave me a letter that was three pages long about how much she loved me and loved my mom because she couldn't do that.