Mark Groves

You have to become somebody who believes they're worthy of being ambivalent about.

You have to become somebody who believes they're worthy of being ambivalent about.

You have to become somebody who believes they're worthy of being ambivalent about.

Everything we choose to keep in our life, we have to match with an internal narrative.

Everything we choose to keep in our life, we have to match with an internal narrative.

Everything we choose to keep in our life, we have to match with an internal narrative.

Yeah. Be interesting. Like if they had to finish the sentences, when people get close to me, they, when people are reliable, what happens? Like, is there a narrative that they get let down? And then what happens when they get let down? Are they left alone? Like, there's going to be a story of how it all plays out anyways. And how it leads to pain. Right.

Yeah. Be interesting. Like if they had to finish the sentences, when people get close to me, they, when people are reliable, what happens? Like, is there a narrative that they get let down? And then what happens when they get let down? Are they left alone? Like, there's going to be a story of how it all plays out anyways. And how it leads to pain. Right.

Yeah. Be interesting. Like if they had to finish the sentences, when people get close to me, they, when people are reliable, what happens? Like, is there a narrative that they get let down? And then what happens when they get let down? Are they left alone? Like, there's going to be a story of how it all plays out anyways. And how it leads to pain. Right.

I really love there's a line from Harville Hendricks and Helen Hunt where they say that we usually say our relationship isn't giving me what I need instead of what does my relationship need from me to feel the way I wanted to. And I think what that, you know, as you've mentioned too, is like that level of responsibility of like, I'm going to take this on for me.

I really love there's a line from Harville Hendricks and Helen Hunt where they say that we usually say our relationship isn't giving me what I need instead of what does my relationship need from me to feel the way I wanted to. And I think what that, you know, as you've mentioned too, is like that level of responsibility of like, I'm going to take this on for me.

I really love there's a line from Harville Hendricks and Helen Hunt where they say that we usually say our relationship isn't giving me what I need instead of what does my relationship need from me to feel the way I wanted to. And I think what that, you know, as you've mentioned too, is like that level of responsibility of like, I'm going to take this on for me.

If we're feeling disconnected, you know, I think a lot of the math that, I think it's like the Gottmans, yeah, it was the Gottmans, who talk about the five to one ratio that when they looked at, so they took newlyweds, they put them in this apartment overlooking Lake Washington and they recorded their conversations. And then they followed up six years later to see if they were married or not.

If we're feeling disconnected, you know, I think a lot of the math that, I think it's like the Gottmans, yeah, it was the Gottmans, who talk about the five to one ratio that when they looked at, so they took newlyweds, they put them in this apartment overlooking Lake Washington and they recorded their conversations. And then they followed up six years later to see if they were married or not.

If we're feeling disconnected, you know, I think a lot of the math that, I think it's like the Gottmans, yeah, it was the Gottmans, who talk about the five to one ratio that when they looked at, so they took newlyweds, they put them in this apartment overlooking Lake Washington and they recorded their conversations. And then they followed up six years later to see if they were married or not.

And what they saw was that couples who had above a five to one positive interaction to every negative

And what they saw was that couples who had above a five to one positive interaction to every negative

And what they saw was that couples who had above a five to one positive interaction to every negative

were still together and anything below that they got divorced they were more likely to get divorced and seven eight to one was like kind of the optimal if it was too high it wasn't authentic and so what happened is is that they would actually um what they saw was that if you just change the math like if you just engage in more positive interactions then what will happen is the baseline sort of deposits that you've made in the relationship will um

were still together and anything below that they got divorced they were more likely to get divorced and seven eight to one was like kind of the optimal if it was too high it wasn't authentic and so what happened is is that they would actually um what they saw was that if you just change the math like if you just engage in more positive interactions then what will happen is the baseline sort of deposits that you've made in the relationship will um