Mark Groves

I'll finally be enough. I'd say there's probably a father wound in there. And so what happens is that I think of this as like we've eroticized our pain. So we've actually taken what we do with the unreliability as we then experience arousal, and then the arousal treats the unreliability. So it actually numbs it. So it becomes like an erotic addiction.

I'll finally be enough. I'd say there's probably a father wound in there. And so what happens is that I think of this as like we've eroticized our pain. So we've actually taken what we do with the unreliability as we then experience arousal, and then the arousal treats the unreliability. So it actually numbs it. So it becomes like an erotic addiction.

Um, and so then we can't, we're not fully in our bodies. We're not able to fully feel. And this is where we can, you know, obviously things like pornography can do that. Masturbation can do that. We can use these tools when we're dysregulated as a way of regulating.

Um, and so then we can't, we're not fully in our bodies. We're not able to fully feel. And this is where we can, you know, obviously things like pornography can do that. Masturbation can do that. We can use these tools when we're dysregulated as a way of regulating.

Um, and so then we can't, we're not fully in our bodies. We're not able to fully feel. And this is where we can, you know, obviously things like pornography can do that. Masturbation can do that. We can use these tools when we're dysregulated as a way of regulating.

Which I wouldn't recommend porn for regulation, but... But what I'm saying is that when we actually look at someone who's reliable then coming into our life, and we're used to unreliability and this other different way of being, It is us who have to actually learn how to regulate and enter discernment. So there's a saying that the opposite of trauma is choice.

Which I wouldn't recommend porn for regulation, but... But what I'm saying is that when we actually look at someone who's reliable then coming into our life, and we're used to unreliability and this other different way of being, It is us who have to actually learn how to regulate and enter discernment. So there's a saying that the opposite of trauma is choice.

Which I wouldn't recommend porn for regulation, but... But what I'm saying is that when we actually look at someone who's reliable then coming into our life, and we're used to unreliability and this other different way of being, It is us who have to actually learn how to regulate and enter discernment. So there's a saying that the opposite of trauma is choice.

And this is why small choices like advice like, hey, you know, make your bed every day. It's not about making your bed every day. It's about when you say you're gonna do something, you do it. And so now you have evidence that you do that. When you say you're gonna go for a walk, you do it. And we might go, well, no one else knows that I said that to myself and I didn't go. Yeah, but you know.

And this is why small choices like advice like, hey, you know, make your bed every day. It's not about making your bed every day. It's about when you say you're gonna do something, you do it. And so now you have evidence that you do that. When you say you're gonna go for a walk, you do it. And we might go, well, no one else knows that I said that to myself and I didn't go. Yeah, but you know.

And this is why small choices like advice like, hey, you know, make your bed every day. It's not about making your bed every day. It's about when you say you're gonna do something, you do it. And so now you have evidence that you do that. When you say you're gonna go for a walk, you do it. And we might go, well, no one else knows that I said that to myself and I didn't go. Yeah, but you know.

That's actually the key piece is that you know that. Telling other people can help hold you accountable to your self-expression because of things like belonging as being a way of behavior modification. But really what has to start to happen is you start to see evidence that when you have a choice, you make it.

That's actually the key piece is that you know that. Telling other people can help hold you accountable to your self-expression because of things like belonging as being a way of behavior modification. But really what has to start to happen is you start to see evidence that when you have a choice, you make it.

That's actually the key piece is that you know that. Telling other people can help hold you accountable to your self-expression because of things like belonging as being a way of behavior modification. But really what has to start to happen is you start to see evidence that when you have a choice, you make it.

And so when you get, if you have a history of dating unreliable people, you just have to go to a, I don't date any unreliability. Like I have to have a zero tolerance for that. And then I'm going to start to look for where am I unreliable in my own life.

And so when you get, if you have a history of dating unreliable people, you just have to go to a, I don't date any unreliability. Like I have to have a zero tolerance for that. And then I'm going to start to look for where am I unreliable in my own life.

And so when you get, if you have a history of dating unreliable people, you just have to go to a, I don't date any unreliability. Like I have to have a zero tolerance for that. And then I'm going to start to look for where am I unreliable in my own life.

If you don't have access to it yourself, then you still won't have a standard. So when someone comes into your life who treats you as if you're not worthy, if you believe you're not worthy, that will match. Now what's interesting is whenever you tolerate someone who's ambivalent about you or inconsistent, et cetera, You have to, this is not optional.

If you don't have access to it yourself, then you still won't have a standard. So when someone comes into your life who treats you as if you're not worthy, if you believe you're not worthy, that will match. Now what's interesting is whenever you tolerate someone who's ambivalent about you or inconsistent, et cetera, You have to, this is not optional.

If you don't have access to it yourself, then you still won't have a standard. So when someone comes into your life who treats you as if you're not worthy, if you believe you're not worthy, that will match. Now what's interesting is whenever you tolerate someone who's ambivalent about you or inconsistent, et cetera, You have to, this is not optional.