Mark Manson

Or they're gonna say, I'm gonna be really organized and conscientious.

Your traits are not switches that can be flipped.

Like they are extremely hard to alter and in many cases cannot be altered.

And so the goal with traits is not to change them, it's to understand them so you can adapt to them.

The second error is treating a behavior like a trait.

So it's saying,

wow, I never get off the couch and go to the gym.

I must just be a lazy person and I'm never going to change that.

And again, you're making a fundamental error.

You're taking a behavior, something that is very easily changed, and then you are judging it as a permanent trait of your personality, which is just simply not the case.

And so the goal with behaviors is to change them.

And we're going to have a whole section in this episode on how to change behaviors.

And the goal with traits is to understand them.

And then the adaptations is all the psychological layers that we build in the middle to make the two coalesce and synchronize.

And we're going to start with traits in this process because I think it's extremely important for people to come to terms with their own personality traits.

Understand yourself first.

There's two ways that this can really go wrong.

One is that people just

don't accept their own personality traits like they they're introverted and they think they're a loser because they're not an extrovert and it's like so if you judge yourself for for having not having the right personality you're just setting yourself up for a lot of shame and self-loathing which is not good and then secondly

Those adaptations, when you do decide to take on new behaviors, those new behaviors need to be aligned and adaptable to your personality trait, right?