Mark Manson

we have a tendency to assume that if it's not our fault, then it's not our responsibility, and oh, don't accept responsibility, because then that's gonna mean it's your fault, and then that means there's something wrong with you.

And the liberation of responsibility actually comes from what you just described, is the,

the recognition that you are making a choice in each and every moment of your life, whether you realize it or not.

Like even not making a choice is a choice that you are making in every moment of your life.

So it's every moment that arises, you have an opportunity to choose where your attention goes, how you react to a situation,

how you're gonna move forward how you're gonna see something what the story that you're gonna tell yourself is and When you take ownership and responsibility and in every moment You are now allowing yourself to control those reactions and control those narratives that you create for yourself

Yeah.

I think a lot of it is that kind of self-awareness because I think a lot of, so, so many people are, you know, you're in autopilot so much of your life.

And, um, so yeah, taking that pause, checking in with yourself, what am I feeling right now?

What, what are my assumptions in this situation?

Um, it it's, there's an immense amount of value in that.

And then I think it's like anything, the more you practice doing that, the more automatic it becomes, the more you start to recognize, um,

in each and every moment of like, OK, well, I'm bringing some assumptions to this argument.

Or, oh, I have a tendency to be defensive in these sorts of situations.

So maybe I should take a step back and consider if I'm doing that again.

And honestly, this is so the interesting thing is this kind of separation between event and reaction, this gap that opens up.

this is what pretty much every personal growth or mental health intervention is designed to do, right?

Whether it's therapy, right?

Like a therapist is sitting you down, stopping you and saying, what were you feeling in that moment?

Why did you respond that way?