Mark Steel

I'm going to be watching badminton on Sky Sports 7.

What a deportation from the plucky little agent from Minneapolis.

Well, I think there should be a simple rule that I think people like Ria who don't like football I think would be encouraged to watch it if they just change one rule

that whenever a player pretends to be injured and they're not injured, if a doctor says, no, they weren't actually injured, the other team should be allowed to inflict the amount of pain they were pretending to have.

Oh, I think the doctor would just go, I think a spanner in the bollocks would be about it.

Well, the way they roll, I think that they could – because they sort of sometimes roll over.

They've been tapped on the ankle.

It might not even be a foul.

They fall over.

And some of them roll eight or nine times.

And I think there should be a special prize in this World Cup for whoever rolls the most.

They roll actually out of the ground, out into –

out into the streets of Baltimore or wherever they are.

Two or three miles.

And he's still going.

He's now out of the city, the city environs, and he's gone onto a subway.

He's gone onto a train and he's rolling all the way.

It's really, really disappointing.

And I think Donald Trump has done a lot of bad things with Iran and ICE agents and generally sort of the total destruction of democracy and hope around the world.

But the thing I hate him for most is he's ruined this World Cup.