Marlon James

Most of the time, they can't read your thoughts, but most of the time when they're talking, you think it's you.

And demons don't need you to believe.

And I was very good as a junior exorcist.

I was the devil driving muscle.

But even during that, and becoming really, really good at this, there were always things that were plaguing me, and things I was struggling with, and you know, it's two o'clock in the morning and you're on a website you shouldn't be on.

And I am having all these feelings, and I'm having these things that I'm seeing, and I'm seeing all these men, and they're always naked.

And I'm thinking, I'm having all these struggles, these demons, and I'm thinking, you know, I can't wrestle from all this sexual sin, so it must be demons.

And there's this abundant life I'm supposed to be living in church, and I'm not living it, demons.

And, you know, I am thinking of George Clooney and he's not wearing any clothes.

It must be demons.

But more than that, more than that, I realized something that I wanted to be a normal person so badly.

Actually, that's not true.

I didn't want to be a normal person at all.

I wanted to want it.

I didn't want marriage and a family and kids.

I wanted to want that.

I didn't want to be acceptable.

I wanted to want acceptance.

I didn't want to wake up in the morning with my family and we're eating Cheerios and I asked how was band practice.

I wanted to want these things.