Martha McBriar

Everybody likes me.

I am so nice, I'm actually scary.

And I've always been proud of that.

And in 2004, I took a community development job in a little Scottish village called Twecker.

I was advised not to take the job.

I was told, they don't like outsiders, they will not like you.

And I thought, well, that's not going to happen, so...

So I start the job and it becomes evident that I'm roundly despised.

I tried everything to please them.

They wanted to learn first aid.

I set up a 12-week course, none of them attended.

A guy had a heart attack in the foyer of the centre and I got the blame.

I set up a break dancing class for the young people and the trainer left because the kids defecated on the bonnet of his car.

I asked the women in the mother and toddlers group if they would not smoke round the babies.

And they sent round a petition demanding I stopped interfering.

It was very, very stressful.

One morning, one of the committee came in and said, we're holding a gala in a few weeks.

We do it every year to raise funds.

Can you bake?

And I can't say that I can't bake because this will be another reason they've got to hate me.