Martin Phillips

I love your sweet voice, brother.

Thank you.

I love that sweet, sweet voice.

On Halloween, I like to make my own candy to pass out.

How would you describe your rhythm when you make love?

We should just hang out there.

The night is young.

It's like the Jerry Lewis of fucking handicapped.

First girl comes out, completely naked, had really great chest hair though, and has one of them big fat magic markers, slips it into her woo woo, squats down and wiggles out, welcome USS Denver.

Next girl comes out completely naked, makes her way over to my table, and just using her meat curtain, blows a candle out of my table.

Then she takes a whistle out of her hair, puts it down on her giner box, and bangs out the Marine Corps M. And if that wasn't enough, she gets a whole pack of smokes going, and you guessed it, her vajayjay blue, the sexiest pussy smoke rings I've ever seen.

Next girl comes out, takes turns landing ping-pong balls into each of our drinks using just a juicy cannon and the shoot-reload technique.

Next girl, I swear she had to have lip burns because she pulled like 40 yards of rainbow-colored yarn out of her tie panocha as her friend ran it around all the stripper poles.

Oh, and let me... Oh.

Okay.

My mom had to come and sit behind me in school so I wouldn't be like, hey, look at me, I'm funny.

So, sorry about that.

It's been a while.

She know you have a coke problem.

Well, yeah.