Martin Phillips

representing australia that's what they're famous for ladies and gentlemen but those of you that don't know that is their contribution to planet earth drinking a beer out of a shoe i that's my second shoe my first show he was last night at shakespeare's wow yeah look at that wow now you can call your girlfriend and she laughs right is that how it depends hang on like you're all your

This is like an education about Australia.

It's how you deliver it, and it's your facial expressions.

Show me good, then show me bad.

All right, so Tony, you're a fucking cunt.

That's good?

Yeah, no, it's bad.

Okay.

There he goes.

Let's go!

Woo!

Listen, guys, I love my girlfriend.

I'm gonna marry my girlfriend, but she is a fucking retard.

I'm serious.

Like, I'm gonna write a book and call it I'm in love with a retard.

Basically...

She goes around complaining, always fighting, arguing with me.

This is chapter one.

Basically, I'm telling you that what happened was she was shaving her pubes, right?

Long story less long.