Matt Abrahams

And she says, mind your metaphors. A lot of us, when we approach negotiation, see it as a battle, see it as a fight. And when you see it that way, that changes your whole demeanor, how you approach it, the words you use. But if you see it as... a dance or as a conversation, that changes it as well, or a problem to be solved. So think about how are you approaching it?

We have this assumption that we make that everybody that we're dealing with holds whatever they hold at the same level we do. And let me give an example. My wife and I over the years have developed this technique so we don't fight and our negotiations go better.

We have this assumption that we make that everybody that we're dealing with holds whatever they hold at the same level we do. And let me give an example. My wife and I over the years have developed this technique so we don't fight and our negotiations go better.

We have this assumption that we make that everybody that we're dealing with holds whatever they hold at the same level we do. And let me give an example. My wife and I over the years have developed this technique so we don't fight and our negotiations go better.

We have this assumption that we make that everybody that we're dealing with holds whatever they hold at the same level we do. And let me give an example. My wife and I over the years have developed this technique so we don't fight and our negotiations go better.

We have this assumption that we make that everybody that we're dealing with holds whatever they hold at the same level we do. And let me give an example. My wife and I over the years have developed this technique so we don't fight and our negotiations go better.

And then the last thing, and I'm sure this isn't surprising, you have to approach from a place of listening. Many of us go and say, here are all the reasons we should do it my way. Start by listening. Start by asking questions. That also connects you, but you get an idea of what's important. So if you follow those four steps, really know what your non-negotiables are.

And then the last thing, and I'm sure this isn't surprising, you have to approach from a place of listening. Many of us go and say, here are all the reasons we should do it my way. Start by listening. Start by asking questions. That also connects you, but you get an idea of what's important. So if you follow those four steps, really know what your non-negotiables are.

And then the last thing, and I'm sure this isn't surprising, you have to approach from a place of listening. Many of us go and say, here are all the reasons we should do it my way. Start by listening. Start by asking questions. That also connects you, but you get an idea of what's important. So if you follow those four steps, really know what your non-negotiables are.

And then the last thing, and I'm sure this isn't surprising, you have to approach from a place of listening. Many of us go and say, here are all the reasons we should do it my way. Start by listening. Start by asking questions. That also connects you, but you get an idea of what's important. So if you follow those four steps, really know what your non-negotiables are.

And then the last thing, and I'm sure this isn't surprising, you have to approach from a place of listening. Many of us go and say, here are all the reasons we should do it my way. Start by listening. Start by asking questions. That also connects you, but you get an idea of what's important. So if you follow those four steps, really know what your non-negotiables are.

When we have something that we might disagree on and have to negotiate about, before we ever start, we declare how important that is to us. So let me give a really mundane, simple example. Let's say we want to go out to dinner and my wife really wants to go to Italian food and I really want to do Mexican food. That could be a negotiation. That could be a fight.

When we have something that we might disagree on and have to negotiate about, before we ever start, we declare how important that is to us. So let me give a really mundane, simple example. Let's say we want to go out to dinner and my wife really wants to go to Italian food and I really want to do Mexican food. That could be a negotiation. That could be a fight.

When we have something that we might disagree on and have to negotiate about, before we ever start, we declare how important that is to us. So let me give a really mundane, simple example. Let's say we want to go out to dinner and my wife really wants to go to Italian food and I really want to do Mexican food. That could be a negotiation. That could be a fight.

When we have something that we might disagree on and have to negotiate about, before we ever start, we declare how important that is to us. So let me give a really mundane, simple example. Let's say we want to go out to dinner and my wife really wants to go to Italian food and I really want to do Mexican food. That could be a negotiation. That could be a fight.

When we have something that we might disagree on and have to negotiate about, before we ever start, we declare how important that is to us. So let me give a really mundane, simple example. Let's say we want to go out to dinner and my wife really wants to go to Italian food and I really want to do Mexican food. That could be a negotiation. That could be a fight.

But before we do it, we simply say, declare our priorities. She might say, going to Italian food, that's an eight on a scale of one to 10. And for me, Mexican food's a four. There's no negotiation. There's no conflict. What happens is I might assume, well, her desire is the same as my desire, and I'm going to really push.

But before we do it, we simply say, declare our priorities. She might say, going to Italian food, that's an eight on a scale of one to 10. And for me, Mexican food's a four. There's no negotiation. There's no conflict. What happens is I might assume, well, her desire is the same as my desire, and I'm going to really push.

But before we do it, we simply say, declare our priorities. She might say, going to Italian food, that's an eight on a scale of one to 10. And for me, Mexican food's a four. There's no negotiation. There's no conflict. What happens is I might assume, well, her desire is the same as my desire, and I'm going to really push.

But before we do it, we simply say, declare our priorities. She might say, going to Italian food, that's an eight on a scale of one to 10. And for me, Mexican food's a four. There's no negotiation. There's no conflict. What happens is I might assume, well, her desire is the same as my desire, and I'm going to really push.