Matt Abrahams

But what that meant is I was always dealing with spontaneous speaking. And my latest work is really all about how to be a better spontaneous speaker. And it's something that I've been developing, some because of my last name and some because of circumstances I found myself in, really did initiate this interest in this notion of how do we speak better in the moment.

But what that meant is I was always dealing with spontaneous speaking. And my latest work is really all about how to be a better spontaneous speaker. And it's something that I've been developing, some because of my last name and some because of circumstances I found myself in, really did initiate this interest in this notion of how do we speak better in the moment.

And if you think about it, most of our communication... is spontaneous. It's not planned. Somebody asks a question, ask for feedback, you're making small talk. And so we need to learn how to do this better so we can be more effective in these circumstances.

And if you think about it, most of our communication... is spontaneous. It's not planned. Somebody asks a question, ask for feedback, you're making small talk. And so we need to learn how to do this better so we can be more effective in these circumstances.

Oh, even even more than that. It's like, OK, we just read the Scarlet Letter. Your turn to tell me what you think about whoever the main character was. Yeah, I was often called on first to answer questions, much to the relief of my fellow students. They were actually grateful because by the time it got to them, they had time to think and plan.

Oh, even even more than that. It's like, OK, we just read the Scarlet Letter. Your turn to tell me what you think about whoever the main character was. Yeah, I was often called on first to answer questions, much to the relief of my fellow students. They were actually grateful because by the time it got to them, they had time to think and plan.

Well, I'm certainly happy to share. I mean, my whole goal is just to help people do better in any communication circumstance. It boils down to two things. It So we have to get our mindset and approach aligned with our goals of speaking in the moment. So first, we have to manage anxiety. Anxiety looms large in all communication, but especially in spontaneous speaking.

Well, I'm certainly happy to share. I mean, my whole goal is just to help people do better in any communication circumstance. It boils down to two things. It So we have to get our mindset and approach aligned with our goals of speaking in the moment. So first, we have to manage anxiety. Anxiety looms large in all communication, but especially in spontaneous speaking.

And then we have to reframe how we see this. First and foremost, the goal we have. Many of us, when we're put on the spot, we want to do our best. job right. We want to give the best answer. We want to give great feedback. We want to be the most interesting person in small talk.

And then we have to reframe how we see this. First and foremost, the goal we have. Many of us, when we're put on the spot, we want to do our best. job right. We want to give the best answer. We want to give great feedback. We want to be the most interesting person in small talk.

And that puts a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves and makes it actually less likely we will achieve those goals. So we have to switch from perfection to connection. Just have the goal be connecting and conveying the information you need rather than doing it right. And by the way, there is no right way to communicate. There are better ways and worse ways.

And that puts a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves and makes it actually less likely we will achieve those goals. So we have to switch from perfection to connection. Just have the goal be connecting and conveying the information you need rather than doing it right. And by the way, there is no right way to communicate. There are better ways and worse ways.

So the first thing we have to reframe is our goal. The second thing we have to reframe is the whole interaction. Many of us see these spontaneous speaking situations as threatening, as something we have to defend against. When somebody asks us a question, we feel challenged. When somebody asks for feedback, we feel put on the spot. And yet we need to reframe those as opportunities.

So the first thing we have to reframe is our goal. The second thing we have to reframe is the whole interaction. Many of us see these spontaneous speaking situations as threatening, as something we have to defend against. When somebody asks us a question, we feel challenged. When somebody asks for feedback, we feel put on the spot. And yet we need to reframe those as opportunities.

It's an opportunity to extend, to expand, to collaborate. So by reframing the goal and just the whole experience, we can do better. And then we have to think about messaging. So it's not just mindset, it's also messaging. Messaging in the moment, what can really help us is leveraging a structure. A structure provides a roadmap, a directionality.

It's an opportunity to extend, to expand, to collaborate. So by reframing the goal and just the whole experience, we can do better. And then we have to think about messaging. So it's not just mindset, it's also messaging. Messaging in the moment, what can really help us is leveraging a structure. A structure provides a roadmap, a directionality.

Many of us, when we're put on the spot, we just blather. We just list information, itemize different things. And our brains are not wired for itemized information. Structure really helps. To give you an example of a structure, if you've ever watched a television ad, problem, solution, benefit is how that ad is most likely been constructed. There's a problem or challenge.

Many of us, when we're put on the spot, we just blather. We just list information, itemize different things. And our brains are not wired for itemized information. Structure really helps. To give you an example of a structure, if you've ever watched a television ad, problem, solution, benefit is how that ad is most likely been constructed. There's a problem or challenge.

Here's a way of solving it through the product or service. And then here's the benefit. That's what a structure does. It's a logical connection of ideas. So by focusing on mindset and focusing on messaging, we can actually manage these situations very effectively and be not only less stressed, but more connected in the process.

Here's a way of solving it through the product or service. And then here's the benefit. That's what a structure does. It's a logical connection of ideas. So by focusing on mindset and focusing on messaging, we can actually manage these situations very effectively and be not only less stressed, but more connected in the process.