Matt Abrahams

Now, because you've previewed that you're excusing yourself, nobody's surprised. There's less awkwardness. It gives the other person or people a chance to figure out what they're going to do so they're not just left there in a strange way. And it gets us away from the exiting of most awkward conversations that we do, which is through biology. I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I have to go to the bathroom.

Now, because you've previewed that you're excusing yourself, nobody's surprised. There's less awkwardness. It gives the other person or people a chance to figure out what they're going to do so they're not just left there in a strange way. And it gets us away from the exiting of most awkward conversations that we do, which is through biology. I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I have to go to the bathroom.

So instead, by waving the white flag, it's just much easier. It's much more graceful. And I use it all the time. And it works.

So instead, by waving the white flag, it's just much easier. It's much more graceful. And I use it all the time. And it works.

Yes. And many of us find ourselves in these situations. So you say, I don't know. Right. So when somebody says, you know, ask you a question and you don't know the answer, you say, I don't know. But you immediately follow it up with what you're going to do to find the answer out and give a time frame for when you will get back to them.

Yes. And many of us find ourselves in these situations. So you say, I don't know. Right. So when somebody says, you know, ask you a question and you don't know the answer, you say, I don't know. But you immediately follow it up with what you're going to do to find the answer out and give a time frame for when you will get back to them.

And if you have a hunch or an inkling as to what the answer might be, you can say that. So I might say something like, I don't know that answer. I'm going to go talk to Stephanie and I'm going to get back to you within 24 hours. My hunch is the answer is this. Now, many of us feel that when we don't know an answer, that that's horrific, that that's awful.

And if you have a hunch or an inkling as to what the answer might be, you can say that. So I might say something like, I don't know that answer. I'm going to go talk to Stephanie and I'm going to get back to you within 24 hours. My hunch is the answer is this. Now, many of us feel that when we don't know an answer, that that's horrific, that that's awful.

In fact, the expectation that you know everything is pretty strange, right? It's not reasonable. Also, many of us feel that we lose credibility in those moments we don't know answers.

In fact, the expectation that you know everything is pretty strange, right? It's not reasonable. Also, many of us feel that we lose credibility in those moments we don't know answers.

There's some preliminary research that says, actually, saying you don't know, saying how you're going to find out, and then actually following up bolsters your credibility as much, if not more, than when you had you initially answered the question. Now, obviously, you don't use this as a ploy and purposely do this to boost your credibility. But we worry that it's going to put us at a disadvantage.

There's some preliminary research that says, actually, saying you don't know, saying how you're going to find out, and then actually following up bolsters your credibility as much, if not more, than when you had you initially answered the question. Now, obviously, you don't use this as a ploy and purposely do this to boost your credibility. But we worry that it's going to put us at a disadvantage.

And in fact, by demonstrating tenacity, by demonstrating that you have the wherewithal to figure out and find out information, that actually helps you in these circumstances. So we need to let go of that notion that we need to know everything.

And in fact, by demonstrating tenacity, by demonstrating that you have the wherewithal to figure out and find out information, that actually helps you in these circumstances. So we need to let go of that notion that we need to know everything.

Now, obviously, if people are asking lots of questions and you don't know many of the answers, that's a different situation, one where there's probably a mismatch between your expertise and the demands of the circumstance. So saying I don't know is not the end of the world, and it may actually be OK and helpful. Super helpful.

Now, obviously, if people are asking lots of questions and you don't know many of the answers, that's a different situation, one where there's probably a mismatch between your expertise and the demands of the circumstance. So saying I don't know is not the end of the world, and it may actually be OK and helpful. Super helpful.

Many of us, when we're put on the spot, we want to give the best answer. We want to be the most interesting person in small talk. And that puts a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves and makes it actually less likely we will achieve those goals. So we have to switch from perfection to connection. It's about structure, it's about focus, and it's about accessibility.

Many of us, when we're put on the spot, we want to give the best answer. We want to be the most interesting person in small talk. And that puts a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves and makes it actually less likely we will achieve those goals. So we have to switch from perfection to connection. It's about structure, it's about focus, and it's about accessibility.

Yeah, not later in the alphabet, earlier in the alphabet. Earlier, okay. With the last name Abrahams, A-B, I always went first in school. I always knew where I would sit. I always knew who was going first. I was a high school teacher for a couple years, and I understand that for high school and elementary school teachers, it's really easy just to organize your life alphabetically.

Yeah, not later in the alphabet, earlier in the alphabet. Earlier, okay. With the last name Abrahams, A-B, I always went first in school. I always knew where I would sit. I always knew who was going first. I was a high school teacher for a couple years, and I understand that for high school and elementary school teachers, it's really easy just to organize your life alphabetically.