Matt Abrahams

also many of us feel that we lose credibility in those moments we don't know answers there's some preliminary research that says actually saying you don't know saying how you're going to find out and then actually following up bolsters your credibility as much if not more than when you had you initially answered the the question

also many of us feel that we lose credibility in those moments we don't know answers there's some preliminary research that says actually saying you don't know saying how you're going to find out and then actually following up bolsters your credibility as much if not more than when you had you initially answered the the question

Now, obviously, you don't use this as a ploy and purposely do this to boost your credibility. But we worry that it's going to put us at a disadvantage. And in fact, by demonstrating tenacity, by demonstrating that you have the wherewithal to figure out and find out information, that actually helps you in these circumstances. So we need to let go of that notion that we need to know everything.

Now, obviously, you don't use this as a ploy and purposely do this to boost your credibility. But we worry that it's going to put us at a disadvantage. And in fact, by demonstrating tenacity, by demonstrating that you have the wherewithal to figure out and find out information, that actually helps you in these circumstances. So we need to let go of that notion that we need to know everything.

Now, obviously, if people are asking lots of questions and you don't know many of the answers, that's a different situation, one where there's probably a mismatch between your expertise and the demands of the circumstance. So saying I don't know is not the end of the world, and it may actually be OK and helpful. Super helpful.

Now, obviously, if people are asking lots of questions and you don't know many of the answers, that's a different situation, one where there's probably a mismatch between your expertise and the demands of the circumstance. So saying I don't know is not the end of the world, and it may actually be OK and helpful. Super helpful.

Yes. So first and foremost, I am a disciple of Kim Scott and Radical Candor. I think her work is fantastic. Kim is a friend. She's actually a neighbor. And so that approach that feedback is something that can be beneficial and is something that needs to be given constantly, not just constructive feedback, but positive feedback, neutral feedback.

Yes. So first and foremost, I am a disciple of Kim Scott and Radical Candor. I think her work is fantastic. Kim is a friend. She's actually a neighbor. And so that approach that feedback is something that can be beneficial and is something that needs to be given constantly, not just constructive feedback, but positive feedback, neutral feedback.

And in giving feedback all the time, any one instance of constructive feedback is perceived very differently than if there's no feedback and then all of a sudden constructive feedback. I see constructive negative feedback as an opportunity to problem solve. And when you reframe it as such, it changes the way you approach the whole thing.

And in giving feedback all the time, any one instance of constructive feedback is perceived very differently than if there's no feedback and then all of a sudden constructive feedback. I see constructive negative feedback as an opportunity to problem solve. And when you reframe it as such, it changes the way you approach the whole thing.

Now, certainly there are things that people do that need to be stopped right away. It's inappropriate. It's wrong. You're not going to say, hey, let's have a conversation about it. No, you just have to stop it. But for most constructive feedback. It is in your best interest to collaborate with the person to actually achieve results.

Now, certainly there are things that people do that need to be stopped right away. It's inappropriate. It's wrong. You're not going to say, hey, let's have a conversation about it. No, you just have to stop it. But for most constructive feedback. It is in your best interest to collaborate with the person to actually achieve results.

So first, see it as an invitation to problem solves, which means you want to invite the person in rather than making them defensive. So it changes the tone and the language that you use. I have a structure that I love to use for problems. Feedback, especially spontaneous feedback. It's four I's, four I's like glasses.

So first, see it as an invitation to problem solves, which means you want to invite the person in rather than making them defensive. So it changes the tone and the language that you use. I have a structure that I love to use for problems. Feedback, especially spontaneous feedback. It's four I's, four I's like glasses.

It helps you see better, but each step starts with the letter I. The first is information. It's the objective reason I'm giving you the feedback. Imagine you're a manager and you have an employee who consistently shows up late and unprepared to meetings. I might start the feedback by saying, this is now the third time you've been over five minutes late for the meeting. That's information.

It helps you see better, but each step starts with the letter I. The first is information. It's the objective reason I'm giving you the feedback. Imagine you're a manager and you have an employee who consistently shows up late and unprepared to meetings. I might start the feedback by saying, this is now the third time you've been over five minutes late for the meeting. That's information.

It's level setting. It's here's what the feedback is on. It's objective. Anybody attending the meeting would say, yep, that person's late and it's the third time. The second I is impact. What does this mean for you, the giver of the feedback? And this is where we use I language. I feel, I think, I believe. When I use you language, that sounds accusatory and likely makes you defensive.

It's level setting. It's here's what the feedback is on. It's objective. Anybody attending the meeting would say, yep, that person's late and it's the third time. The second I is impact. What does this mean for you, the giver of the feedback? And this is where we use I language. I feel, I think, I believe. When I use you language, that sounds accusatory and likely makes you defensive.

So I might say, I feel you're not prioritizing this meeting the same way the rest of us are. The third I is the invitation. I might ask it as a question. I might say, what can we do to help make sure you show up on time to the next meeting? That's an invitation as formed as a question. I could make an invitation that is a declarative sentence.

So I might say, I feel you're not prioritizing this meeting the same way the rest of us are. The third I is the invitation. I might ask it as a question. I might say, what can we do to help make sure you show up on time to the next meeting? That's an invitation as formed as a question. I could make an invitation that is a declarative sentence.