Matt Abrahams

People won't make a mistake that I'm advising them to avoid.

Just have a positive outcome in mind, and that can really help.

So thinking about what value is in it for you and for your audience before you communicate can really make a big difference.

That would be a whole different podcast.

Here's what I'll tell you, though.

Listening is important.

A lot of our arguments are over things that really don't exist.

When I've been, I've done some mediation work in my life, and the number one thing I make people do when I bring two people who disagree together is

is I make each listen to the other.

And often the argument disappears.

People didn't realize that.

And the second bit of advice, I learned this from two friends of mine.

My wife and I deploy this a lot.

When we are set up to have a disagreement, we each declare how important whatever the issue is to us

Because we assume, you know, if I'm really passionate about something, I assume when we're arguing that you're equally as passionate.

But that's not always true.

But if I come at you with my full passion and you're not as passionate, I'm going to make you more passionate.

So all of a sudden we're fighting.

So if I want to go out to Chinese food and my wife wants to go out to Mexican food, I might say, for me, Chinese food is an eight because I really have been craving it.

She says Mexican food for me is a three today.